I was talking to someone this afternoon and he said he didn't feel like there's a new year coming and I basically said, and this is how i feel that its not so much of a new year with new beginnings but rather a new year that more of a continuation and I honestly feel this way.
All the things that have happened have for better or worse influenced me and helped make me who I am today. But looking back at everything, i have nothing but thanks to God for allowing me go through them and seeing the outcome of it all.
I took a big risk this year, something uncharacteristic of me. Switching courses and schools and moving from the familiar to the not so familiar. I just thank God that finally i get to study something i'm actually interested in. Not everyone get that privilege and its up to me to make the most of this season as a student to prepare myself the best i can so that when I pass from this stage I can move on to the next stage thats more demanding.
If there's one thing i think i have learned this year it would be what pastor Ryan shared in the camp and that's to give 100% in all we do, both in church and in wherever else we find ourselves. Be it in the office or in a classroom or wherever. I know this but it helps to be reminded for humans need to be reminded more than they need to be instructed :)
Whats for the next year? Well i'm not sure but like i said its a continuation yet its a chance for a new beginning, a fresh start, a new energy, another opportunity to make things better and move on with God. Honestly i want to make every effort to follow hard after God in everything i do so that by this time next year I will cringe when i think of what I wanted to accomplish.
Father i want to begin the year with you and continue it with you. Let me experience you a fresh in this new Year.
~shalom~
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Saturday, December 29, 2007
the beautiful union
We attended a wedding ceremony today. Aunty mee ting's daughter's wedding ceremony at Faith Methodist Church in the Hui Sing area.
So far its the second wedding ceremony that i've attended both incidentally in a Methodist Church. So it followed a familiar pattern.
I like wedding ceremonies, it marks the beginning of a beautiful union that God himself instituted. Its also an outward expression of the love and desires of a man and a woman who love each other and have desired to do one of the most unselfish things on earth; get married.
I like the proclamation of marriage as instituted by God and the vows, they're just so sacred yet these days we somehow find loop holes and the divorce rate is steadily climbing.
It made me think a little about how my married life would be. I know for a fact that I won't want to be divorced ever. No matter what because of those vows, and that proclamation and the fact that God is involved.
Recent events have opened my eyes to the reality that almost all problems relation to relationships can be solved quite amicably without resulting to anything rash and plain stupid.
Was watching a show and discovery home and health about these couple with 8 children and mentioned that i would like to have at most 3 children. My own family is made up of 5 children all talented in different ways with all totally different views in life and attitudes and that fine but i think i like a rather small family but maybe later on in life would love to adopt a few children like Mrs Pitt AKA Angelina Jolie seems to have done.
Marriage is something i look forward to but not anxious about at least for the moment. However I know some people who are over due to be married, ahem ;)
~shalom~
So far its the second wedding ceremony that i've attended both incidentally in a Methodist Church. So it followed a familiar pattern.
I like wedding ceremonies, it marks the beginning of a beautiful union that God himself instituted. Its also an outward expression of the love and desires of a man and a woman who love each other and have desired to do one of the most unselfish things on earth; get married.
I like the proclamation of marriage as instituted by God and the vows, they're just so sacred yet these days we somehow find loop holes and the divorce rate is steadily climbing.
It made me think a little about how my married life would be. I know for a fact that I won't want to be divorced ever. No matter what because of those vows, and that proclamation and the fact that God is involved.
Recent events have opened my eyes to the reality that almost all problems relation to relationships can be solved quite amicably without resulting to anything rash and plain stupid.
Was watching a show and discovery home and health about these couple with 8 children and mentioned that i would like to have at most 3 children. My own family is made up of 5 children all talented in different ways with all totally different views in life and attitudes and that fine but i think i like a rather small family but maybe later on in life would love to adopt a few children like Mrs Pitt AKA Angelina Jolie seems to have done.
Marriage is something i look forward to but not anxious about at least for the moment. However I know some people who are over due to be married, ahem ;)
~shalom~
Thursday, December 27, 2007
AVP 2
So on christmas day after the service we went to see AVP2. Not willing to just go back home and sleep on Christmas, i mean its christmas!
I watched AVP and thought it was an ok movie. Of course predator was way better with Arnie running around in the jungle with big guns and really sharp knives and stuff. AVP2 on the other hand pretty much sucked.
The story started out in space where an alien was running tests on other alien species and one of them escaped, killed him and crashed on earth where they went on a rampage killing every human they could find and using them as hosts to reproduce.
Then there was the alien who took it upon himself to eliminate the other aliens and any other humans in his way. Long story short, it just didn't make sense. It was just a movie about a bunch of people getting killed, beat up or beat up and then killed while there's the cliche chaos and no happy endings.
My christmas was good, the movie didnt spoil it but it earns a deserving 1.5/5 from me.
~shalom~
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
emotions
In the middle
in the midst of indecision
in contention
in blue
in dark grey
incompetent
in fear
in awe
unsure
unravelled
unrelenting
unbelieving
undeserving
On christmas day star movies showed the sound of music and the song ...these are a few of my favourite things described simple things that made one's life, that changed one's mood, that brought joy. I dunno why but there's still one word...
unresolved
I just wish I could
undo.
i'm sorry.
~shalom~
in the midst of indecision
in contention
in blue
in dark grey
incompetent
in fear
in awe
unsure
unravelled
unrelenting
unbelieving
undeserving
On christmas day star movies showed the sound of music and the song ...these are a few of my favourite things described simple things that made one's life, that changed one's mood, that brought joy. I dunno why but there's still one word...
unresolved
I just wish I could
undo.
i'm sorry.
~shalom~
Monday, December 24, 2007
tagged by kimbuali
The rules are:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. List eight (8) random facts about yourself.
3. Tag eight (8) people.
1. I love to travel.
2. I don't act my age.
3. I love to watch planes fly by.
4. Miss my miri friends
5. I like fruits.
6. I enjoy doing things for people who will never find out. Call me weird
7. I love Nokia phones. I think nokia makes the best phones. Call me biased.
8. I'm never tired of the colour blue.
I TAG : lazy to tag.
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. List eight (8) random facts about yourself.
3. Tag eight (8) people.
1. I love to travel.
2. I don't act my age.
3. I love to watch planes fly by.
4. Miss my miri friends
5. I like fruits.
6. I enjoy doing things for people who will never find out. Call me weird
7. I love Nokia phones. I think nokia makes the best phones. Call me biased.
8. I'm never tired of the colour blue.
I TAG : lazy to tag.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Carolling fun
The two nights of carolling have been really nice. Thank God for the opportunity to sing praises to God and share the Joy of Jesus especially in this season.
I thought Chris and Yesh did very well in their solo parts, it always stunned the people, every time when they came up to sing people kept looking back kind of like asking, who's that singing. Good job girls. And of course to Li Ern who conducted the whole thing, making sure everyone knew what line came next in Silent Night among other things. And of course to everyone who made it on time or sort of on time and gave their voices and hands to carry the instruments and to bless others. To people like simon behind the scenes working, for pastor and aunty mei for their support and effort. Not forgetting other who came to show support and take pictures. ;)
It was a time where the girls looked their best, where they guys forgot the lyrics and looked silly just mouthing words. It was a time to relax and enjoy the season of good tiding to all men as we commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ.
Doing the interview for the Christmas service, we asked a few people on the street what they thought about Christmas and got a variety of responses but the one that really struck me was one where mdn. Agnes was saying, when we remember great people, we don't necessary celebrate the day they were born but rather their achievements and their accomplishments. Think of Christopher Columbus, or Thomas Edison, you don't have any memory of how they would have looked like when they were babies but rather we remember that for Chris, he discovered America and for Tom, sound.
Why don't we remember the greatness of Jesus in what He did and not how cute he was. Not to belittle the birth of Jesus, but for a change. Why not?
I feel so honoured to be part of the team, and I thank God for all the opportunities to be a blessing.
~shalom~
I thought Chris and Yesh did very well in their solo parts, it always stunned the people, every time when they came up to sing people kept looking back kind of like asking, who's that singing. Good job girls. And of course to Li Ern who conducted the whole thing, making sure everyone knew what line came next in Silent Night among other things. And of course to everyone who made it on time or sort of on time and gave their voices and hands to carry the instruments and to bless others. To people like simon behind the scenes working, for pastor and aunty mei for their support and effort. Not forgetting other who came to show support and take pictures. ;)
It was a time where the girls looked their best, where they guys forgot the lyrics and looked silly just mouthing words. It was a time to relax and enjoy the season of good tiding to all men as we commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ.
Doing the interview for the Christmas service, we asked a few people on the street what they thought about Christmas and got a variety of responses but the one that really struck me was one where mdn. Agnes was saying, when we remember great people, we don't necessary celebrate the day they were born but rather their achievements and their accomplishments. Think of Christopher Columbus, or Thomas Edison, you don't have any memory of how they would have looked like when they were babies but rather we remember that for Chris, he discovered America and for Tom, sound.
Why don't we remember the greatness of Jesus in what He did and not how cute he was. Not to belittle the birth of Jesus, but for a change. Why not?
I feel so honoured to be part of the team, and I thank God for all the opportunities to be a blessing.
~shalom~
what season is it?
For everything under the sun there is a time and a season. As long as the earth remains seed time and harvest shall not seize. So what season is it now?
I seem to be surrounded by people who are going through relationship problems, some wonderful some not so good. And I know that in all things God works it out for the GOOD of those who love Him, ALL who are called according to His purpose.
And sometimes relationships end, and its kind of like putting out a candle. The light goes off but there is still smoke lingering until it fades away. Others end without much struggle and you thank God its over.
Yet some are like a cartoon i watched where even after blowing out the candle it comes up again, and again which is troublesome because it keeps you preoccupied with just turning it off and not getting on with whatever you need to do. {poor elmer ford}
I don't want to sound all emo but I'm really confused now. Never thought things could get so complicated. Its 1:28 now and I should be in lala land where nothing's real and its peaceful, but here I am listening to planetshakers while i make this post.
I remember what pastor Hii said, blogs should bring hope, especially blogs by christians and even though I really want to share my heart to its full extent, I will refrain and think about the kindness of God instead, how about that.
I know that God is pure good, and everything He does is for the good of His Children, for when we ask for bread He would not give us a stone to chew on. And His wisdom far exceeds anything we can muster. Wow I feel better.
Father, even though things are very hectic and I dunno what is the right decision to take, I want to be fully confident in Your love, knowing that nothing can separate us from Your love. And if you care for the sparrows, I am of more worth and a bunch of birdies. So i throw myself at Your love and care, knowing you will take care of everything and at the end I will go thank You, thank You, thank You, thank You, thank You, thank You, thank You. Hehe. I just want to thank You Father for Your love. Arigato o-tou san.
~shalom~
I seem to be surrounded by people who are going through relationship problems, some wonderful some not so good. And I know that in all things God works it out for the GOOD of those who love Him, ALL who are called according to His purpose.
And sometimes relationships end, and its kind of like putting out a candle. The light goes off but there is still smoke lingering until it fades away. Others end without much struggle and you thank God its over.
Yet some are like a cartoon i watched where even after blowing out the candle it comes up again, and again which is troublesome because it keeps you preoccupied with just turning it off and not getting on with whatever you need to do. {poor elmer ford}
I don't want to sound all emo but I'm really confused now. Never thought things could get so complicated. Its 1:28 now and I should be in lala land where nothing's real and its peaceful, but here I am listening to planetshakers while i make this post.
I remember what pastor Hii said, blogs should bring hope, especially blogs by christians and even though I really want to share my heart to its full extent, I will refrain and think about the kindness of God instead, how about that.
I know that God is pure good, and everything He does is for the good of His Children, for when we ask for bread He would not give us a stone to chew on. And His wisdom far exceeds anything we can muster. Wow I feel better.
Father, even though things are very hectic and I dunno what is the right decision to take, I want to be fully confident in Your love, knowing that nothing can separate us from Your love. And if you care for the sparrows, I am of more worth and a bunch of birdies. So i throw myself at Your love and care, knowing you will take care of everything and at the end I will go thank You, thank You, thank You, thank You, thank You, thank You, thank You. Hehe. I just want to thank You Father for Your love. Arigato o-tou san.
~shalom~
Saturday, December 22, 2007
tagged by shell
Games rules and regulations
Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it total 20 questions, then tag to 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she had been tag. Whoever did the tag will have blessing from all.You must link to the one who tag you, then spread it to 8 people, let's the game go on, return the tag to sender is prohibited.
1. What is your dream during your childhood?
Hmm, interesting one. I don't really remember,but i just enjoyed seeing planes go by so i guess travel a lot?
2.You like rainy day or sunny day?
Sunny days are best when there's an occasion but rainy days are best in the evening especially Friday evenings hehe.
3.Which colour you like most?
Blue blue bluE
4.If you've chance, what would you probably say to your beloved one?
I will always love you...Always :)
5.Where is the place you wanted to go most?
Hoooooooooooooome
6.Which part of you that you hate most?
The part that is always quiet.
7.When you encounter a sad moment, what would you do?
Listen to music, and pray afterwards. Always helps. Sometimes talking to friends are the best way to handle sad moments.
8.What do you scare to loss the most?
My family!
9.If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her? Or just
keep secret in heart, observing by yourself?
Pass
10.List out 3 good points of the one who tag you.
a. Original.
b. Bold.
c. Helpful.
11.What are the requirements that you wish for your another half?
a. He has to put God first in everything she does.
b. Loves God with all her heart.
c. Kind.
d. Accepts me.
e. A bit on the wild side. Just a bit.
f. Modest.
12.Till now, what is the moment that you regret most?
Missing opportunities to do what is in my heart.
13.Which type of person you hate most?
Pass.
14.What is your ambition?
Be the best employee, employer, father, husband, friend, in-law, brother I can ever be.
15.What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad.
Well since i passed...
16.If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
:)
17. What do you think is most important in your life?
My Lord and Saviour.
18.At what age do you wish to marry?
2x
19. What do you think is the answer behind all good things?
I don't really get the question. Thank God?
20. Whats Your Biggest Fear in Life?
Losing God.
Finally complete this tag.
Now i would like to tag this to:
a. Kenin
b. Oliver
c. Joy
d. Michael
e. Amazing Grace
Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it total 20 questions, then tag to 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she had been tag. Whoever did the tag will have blessing from all.You must link to the one who tag you, then spread it to 8 people, let's the game go on, return the tag to sender is prohibited.
1. What is your dream during your childhood?
Hmm, interesting one. I don't really remember,but i just enjoyed seeing planes go by so i guess travel a lot?
2.You like rainy day or sunny day?
Sunny days are best when there's an occasion but rainy days are best in the evening especially Friday evenings hehe.
3.Which colour you like most?
Blue blue bluE
4.If you've chance, what would you probably say to your beloved one?
I will always love you...Always :)
5.Where is the place you wanted to go most?
Hoooooooooooooome
6.Which part of you that you hate most?
The part that is always quiet.
7.When you encounter a sad moment, what would you do?
Listen to music, and pray afterwards. Always helps. Sometimes talking to friends are the best way to handle sad moments.
8.What do you scare to loss the most?
My family!
9.If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her? Or just
keep secret in heart, observing by yourself?
Pass
10.List out 3 good points of the one who tag you.
a. Original.
b. Bold.
c. Helpful.
11.What are the requirements that you wish for your another half?
a. He has to put God first in everything she does.
b. Loves God with all her heart.
c. Kind.
d. Accepts me.
e. A bit on the wild side. Just a bit.
f. Modest.
12.Till now, what is the moment that you regret most?
Missing opportunities to do what is in my heart.
13.Which type of person you hate most?
Pass.
14.What is your ambition?
Be the best employee, employer, father, husband, friend, in-law, brother I can ever be.
15.What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad.
Well since i passed...
16.If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
:)
17. What do you think is most important in your life?
My Lord and Saviour.
18.At what age do you wish to marry?
2x
19. What do you think is the answer behind all good things?
I don't really get the question. Thank God?
20. Whats Your Biggest Fear in Life?
Losing God.
Finally complete this tag.
Now i would like to tag this to:
a. Kenin
b. Oliver
c. Joy
d. Michael
e. Amazing Grace
Thursday, December 20, 2007
alvin and the chipmunks
I wasn't too pleased when I was told that instead of watching I am legend, we'll be watching Alvin and the Chipmunks. I used to watch the cartoons when it showed on tv and liked it. Those chipmunky sounds the little critters make. Think of the sound of Akon's song lonely times 3 with more melody and dancing. Man cg has come a long way.
I enjoyed the movie very much. It follows a very predictable theme of lost, found, taken, rescued, happy ending. Yay. I guess i'm getting old quickly, or maybe i need to loosen up and really enjoy myself.
Was talking to one of my close friends and she said I don't have much to say these days and I find that she's right. i dunno, the world just seems more serious these days.
Oh yeah the movie. What would you do when three talking beavers, sorry chipmunks follow you home in a basket full of stolen muffins? Show them off? Well that's what anyone would do, and that what Dave did and got disappointed when his once hysterical chipmunks became pitiful, possibly abused animal in front of other people. Think about the cute sorry face the cat in Shrek made time 3 with a scared demeanour, priceless :D
The rodents are cute and the movie was fun and funny. Good if you have young ones lying around with nothing better to do. So i give it a 4/5. And I was glad we didn't watch I am legend since i heard its quite boring.
~shalom~
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
some of the things i miss
I feel so lazy to blog these days, nothing much to talk about yet i feel like i need to update this thing so yeah.
I'm back in kuching, again. Going back to miri only reminded me of how much i miss my friends there. Thank God that Oliver was still there otherwise i would have been homeless for 3 days. Without the students Senadin is practically a ghost town.
The supp was ok. I thank God for that, and thanks to everyone who stood by me with encouraging words and stuff.
What I miss. I miss hanging out with friends, eating out and stuff. I guess I'm having a taste of how working life feels but it doesn't have to be this way. I know.
Yeah like i said, nothing much to say here today, only that i'll be going to watch Alvin and the Chipmunks today.
~shalom~
I'm back in kuching, again. Going back to miri only reminded me of how much i miss my friends there. Thank God that Oliver was still there otherwise i would have been homeless for 3 days. Without the students Senadin is practically a ghost town.
The supp was ok. I thank God for that, and thanks to everyone who stood by me with encouraging words and stuff.
What I miss. I miss hanging out with friends, eating out and stuff. I guess I'm having a taste of how working life feels but it doesn't have to be this way. I know.
Yeah like i said, nothing much to say here today, only that i'll be going to watch Alvin and the Chipmunks today.
~shalom~
Sunday, December 16, 2007
testimonies for November '07
I was reading ODB today and in Psalm 119:148 David says I stay awake through the night thinking about your promises. It gave the encouragement to spend some time everyday thinking about the faithfulness of God. To be truly thankful is a worship to God.
The month of November was probably one of the best months of the year. Even though it was the exam month, and even though the exams were so tough I thank God for seeing me through them and for the surprising result. Even though I have a supp exam, i even thank God for that. Really His mercies have been great.
I thank God also for the time i was able to spend with my friends after exam, we really had a good time especially with Samantha since she'll be leaving for Australia.
I also thank God for relentless '07 and for what happened there. Its not just information, it more of a life changing, mind altering time for me. I was reminded of some of the dreams and desires of my heart that I had lost for some reason and settled for something less. You can call it a restoration time.
Finally i want to thank God that i can come back to Kuching and to serve in Bethany. I really consider myself privileged to be doing the things i'm doing now. Yeah thank You Lord for all these things and more. I am indeed grateful.
~shalom~
The month of November was probably one of the best months of the year. Even though it was the exam month, and even though the exams were so tough I thank God for seeing me through them and for the surprising result. Even though I have a supp exam, i even thank God for that. Really His mercies have been great.
I thank God also for the time i was able to spend with my friends after exam, we really had a good time especially with Samantha since she'll be leaving for Australia.
I also thank God for relentless '07 and for what happened there. Its not just information, it more of a life changing, mind altering time for me. I was reminded of some of the dreams and desires of my heart that I had lost for some reason and settled for something less. You can call it a restoration time.
Finally i want to thank God that i can come back to Kuching and to serve in Bethany. I really consider myself privileged to be doing the things i'm doing now. Yeah thank You Lord for all these things and more. I am indeed grateful.
~shalom~
Monday, December 10, 2007
salt and light camp
Going away on a camp in Permai. This will make the second time i've been to permai though the first time going for a camp so yeah.
Expectations for the camp? Well i really want to meet with God and experience Him in a more personal way. I know I'll be busy most of the time but i hope there will be times of quietness just to be by myself and do some reflection. I also need to draw strength for the responsibilities I am likely to assume in the coming year.
Results are coming out soon. I hope the 'myth' is true if so i can enjoy the rest of my holidays with relative peace of mind.
Anyway will be back on Thursday. Hopefully i won't be too tired to make a post.
~shalom~
Saturday, December 08, 2007
the kingdom
The kingdom is about a story that we are all to familiar with, we see it everyday on cnn, youtube, al jezeera and other sources. Its a story of hate, of a few idealist who think killing others can be justified because of some religious obligation clouded by personal beliefs in cultural influences.
We'll kill them all, the phrase that drives the entire movie. Yes there's Jamie Fox and Jen Garner and they... well he acts well convincing the Saudi's to allow his elite team go investigate the killing of Americans in a Saudi camp who's only crime was enjoying a family time out in the baseball field in the glorious sunshine. Despite the restrictions imposed on them they were able to work pass that to get what they wanted, who they wanted.
I was really scared of the reality of people who will go all out to eliminate 'infidels'. Young, old, and the in betweens. I guess i'm glad i'm on God's side.
The movie does not feel like a movie, it felt quit real like something you would watch on a CNN report, the camera shakes a lot in some scenes which can make you dizzy but i was alright.
At the end of it, you don't feel wow that was a nice movie, you think, you are sober, at least i was. At the end of it you feel thank God I don't have to worry about a bunch of people trying to take me out when i'm enjoying a family time out.
Thank You God for the peace we enjoy.
~shalom~
Thursday, December 06, 2007
someone tagged me
LIST OUT THE TOP 5 PRESENTS YOU WISH FOR:
(a) Return trip to Port Harcourt.
(b) MacBook Pro.
(c) 19" flat screen Monitor.
(d) Iphone.
(e) Psp.
LIST OUT THE REASONS FOR YOUR CHOICES:
(a) I miss home.
(b) Macs are the best.
(c) Looks nicer ma.
(d) Its so cool.
(e) I've always wanted one but the price doesn't seem to be dropping
THE PERSON WHO TAGG-ED YOU IS:
Specky 5 minus 4 (AKA amanda)
5 IMPRESSIONS OF HIM/HER:
(a) Cute.
(b) Nice and friendly
(c) Loves God
(d) Loves friends.
(e) Likes to change her blog theme.
MOST MEMORABLE THINGS HE/SHE HAS DONE FOR YOU:
Err, post ncie comments on my tagboard
MOST LOVED INVENTION (does not need to be technologically advanced):
Electricity.
WHAT DO YOU DESPISE THE MOST:
People who manipulate others.
6 PEOPLE YOU WANNA TAG:
(a) Kenin
(b) Amanda
(c) Shellyn
(d) Kimberly
(e) Zoe
(f) Gracie
~shalom~
(a) Return trip to Port Harcourt.
(b) MacBook Pro.
(c) 19" flat screen Monitor.
(d) Iphone.
(e) Psp.
LIST OUT THE REASONS FOR YOUR CHOICES:
(a) I miss home.
(b) Macs are the best.
(c) Looks nicer ma.
(d) Its so cool.
(e) I've always wanted one but the price doesn't seem to be dropping
THE PERSON WHO TAGG-ED YOU IS:
Specky 5 minus 4 (AKA amanda)
5 IMPRESSIONS OF HIM/HER:
(a) Cute.
(b) Nice and friendly
(c) Loves God
(d) Loves friends.
(e) Likes to change her blog theme.
MOST MEMORABLE THINGS HE/SHE HAS DONE FOR YOU:
Err, post ncie comments on my tagboard
MOST LOVED INVENTION (does not need to be technologically advanced):
Electricity.
WHAT DO YOU DESPISE THE MOST:
People who manipulate others.
6 PEOPLE YOU WANNA TAG:
(a) Kenin
(b) Amanda
(c) Shellyn
(d) Kimberly
(e) Zoe
(f) Gracie
~shalom~
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Hooked on bleach
Sorry nothing much to update on except for me most recent pass time, the anime bleach. I don't want to go into it now, its a nice story except for all the demons and spirits thing.
I learn something about commitment and how the commitment of one person can make a huge difference even to the point of death, there still lies resolve. I want that.
Recently i've been missing home more and more. It doesn't matter where I am, there's no place like home. I feel like my siblings are growing up and i'm not in touch with what they like, what they do, their habits and stuff. I just miss being the big brother looking after everyone, settling quarrels and fights and stuff. I so miss my mom too and i also feel like minding my relationship with the big guy.
I also miss miri and all my friends and just hanging out around town, going for supper, vcf celebrations haih.
I know i sound so kolian but I can't help it la, thats how i feel la. But tomo.. today, we're going for a movie hehe. Going to watch the kingdom with obi wong and kenin is coming to kuching yay. Hope i can meet up with you tomorr.. er today hehe.
Father i pray for my brother, my sisters, my mummy, and the big guy, I ask you keep them safe and sound, in good health and in peace. Let there be at least one thing they can smile about everyday for what you have done. Keep them Father until i see them again. I miss them, Arigato o-tou-san.
~shalom~
I learn something about commitment and how the commitment of one person can make a huge difference even to the point of death, there still lies resolve. I want that.
Recently i've been missing home more and more. It doesn't matter where I am, there's no place like home. I feel like my siblings are growing up and i'm not in touch with what they like, what they do, their habits and stuff. I just miss being the big brother looking after everyone, settling quarrels and fights and stuff. I so miss my mom too and i also feel like minding my relationship with the big guy.
I also miss miri and all my friends and just hanging out around town, going for supper, vcf celebrations haih.
I know i sound so kolian but I can't help it la, thats how i feel la. But tomo.. today, we're going for a movie hehe. Going to watch the kingdom with obi wong and kenin is coming to kuching yay. Hope i can meet up with you tomorr.. er today hehe.
Father i pray for my brother, my sisters, my mummy, and the big guy, I ask you keep them safe and sound, in good health and in peace. Let there be at least one thing they can smile about everyday for what you have done. Keep them Father until i see them again. I miss them, Arigato o-tou-san.
~shalom~
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
hitman the movie
If you like that game it would be easier to follow the movie although the story does not follow the game strictly but it uses elements from the game to form an ok movie. Yeah i said ok. I was not sure what to expect with the movie, i guess i was not disappointed at the same time it was not wowed either.
There are a few reviews around so as usual i will not try to write a review however I would just highlight some parts of it I found interesting. For one, 47 has a soft side. That is something you will not find in the game. In the games he's more focused having no family except the padre that was kidnapped, in hitman contracts. In this movie there's a girl and i'm not sure what her role was suppose to be in the movie but she made 47 have a soft side, stopping him from killing inspector Michael and for some reason her tattoo created some kind of bond being tattooed himself at the back of his head.
47 was contracted to kill this guy and he did but somehow it turned out to be s set up that saw interpol and the FSB looking for him. There was a witness to the assassination and thats where the girl comes in. Mr B who hired 47 and then framed him had a secret that only 47 and the girl knew about so it was no surprise that he wanted them dead but if the actor died there wouldn't be much of a movie now would there? I liked the way the movie progressed once the plot has been layed out.
But beyond the seriousness there were moments of humour and like all new movies these days i could spot at least one sonyericsson phone being used.
Overall it was a nice movie minus the violence. A solid 3.5 over 5.
~shalom~
Sunday, November 25, 2007
back in miaw city
I'm back in kuching already, wow feels really good to be back. There are a few changes but its nice to see everyone again. This afternoon most of us who just came back from all the different unis went out to lunch with pastor at no not the char siew shop but at pizzahut in Jalan Song, wah ate so much that i'm so full. Sorry no pictures i just never got around to taking any pictures.
Tomorrow i'll be going out for laksa with simon. Feels like a tradition now :) so looking forward to that. On the first of december i'll be working with shellyn, simon, and sam at bethany home so yeah got a job already. On the first is also the day Caleb comes back, wow it would be nice to see him again.
I'm sorry for all of you still in Miri, didnt really have the time to say goodbyes and all with y'all. My flight was rather early so yeah, miss you all already well see you in february except for samantha of course. I really thank God and chipmunk, sorry alvin for supper last night. It was good to spend some time together.
~shalom~
Tomorrow i'll be going out for laksa with simon. Feels like a tradition now :) so looking forward to that. On the first of december i'll be working with shellyn, simon, and sam at bethany home so yeah got a job already. On the first is also the day Caleb comes back, wow it would be nice to see him again.
I'm sorry for all of you still in Miri, didnt really have the time to say goodbyes and all with y'all. My flight was rather early so yeah, miss you all already well see you in february except for samantha of course. I really thank God and chipmunk, sorry alvin for supper last night. It was good to spend some time together.
~shalom~
Friday, November 23, 2007
quicky update
Just a quick update. The past few days has been quite busy, packing and all. I didnt realise i have so much stuff until its time to move. Oh well everything should be settled by tomorrow. At the moment my stuff is scattered all over the room. My roommate left this morning, two of my housemates followed suit so its just three of us left.
Relentless has been quite good so far, but my heart is not really here. ;)
~shalom~
Relentless has been quite good so far, but my heart is not really here. ;)
~shalom~
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
110
110 was my seat number for my last exam of 2007, my first exam in Curtin, the toughest of them all but its over now. Now i can breathe easy at least for a while.
The paper was surprising, was 17 pages long and felt heavy. The sheer volume of it made finishing a challenge and many of us didn't manage to finish yet in this kind of situation there were at least two people who left the hall very early. I guess they were more prepared than the rest of us.
So what now? Well there's relentless and then i'll be off to kuching. Can't wait.
~shalom~
The paper was surprising, was 17 pages long and felt heavy. The sheer volume of it made finishing a challenge and many of us didn't manage to finish yet in this kind of situation there were at least two people who left the hall very early. I guess they were more prepared than the rest of us.
So what now? Well there's relentless and then i'll be off to kuching. Can't wait.
~shalom~
Monday, November 19, 2007
I've noticed more and more people are moving over to facebook. I recently got an account there, well actually i had an account before but there were some issues with it and i got another one. Anyway is facebook the new friendster? Or is facebook friendster+myspace+hi5.
Speaking of hi5 i recently deleted my account there. Things were getting too messy, I keep getting invitations from people i dont know.
Anyway, i have my last two papers this week. Really dont know how its going to go but i just hope they're not too difficult.
Ok thats enough for one day, i'm going to bed. Please pray for my exams ;)
~shalom~
Speaking of hi5 i recently deleted my account there. Things were getting too messy, I keep getting invitations from people i dont know.
Anyway, i have my last two papers this week. Really dont know how its going to go but i just hope they're not too difficult.
Ok thats enough for one day, i'm going to bed. Please pray for my exams ;)
~shalom~
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
testimonies for october '07
I have come to enjoy this time every month when i take time to look back on the month and give thanks for the way it turned out. So in no particular order, I express my thanks to God.
Lost and found.
I know it looks like a small thing but i really thank God that i didn't lose my datastructures and algorithms in java book. If i did not only would be paying for the book but i might have nothing to study with for the exam. Besides all that i would really look at myself as an irresponsible person, thats worse.
You are near.
I thank God for showing me that he truly cares for me, despite everything that has happened. I just thank God for the reassurances, i feel its priceless. And I want to say i'm sorry Lord for all the times i shut my ears and would not listen, did not respond to your calls. I was just looking back at my posts and want to add that i really like the note i got from my "angel" in vcf. I think its really nice la. Thank God for that.
Bario
I thank God for the opportunity to go to Bario. Its was really a good trip, just to experience the culture and the life there. And the people, to be able to be a part of the ministry team there. I also thank God for the time we got to trek into the jungle and all the hospitality and the fun ride on the really small plane, the smallest i've been on so far.
Little Nigeria
Thank God for a little experience of home by way of pastor Gbenga who literally invigorated my spirit with life. Really thank that man ;)
4months
Its been 4 months, i'm still here. Life still goes on. I have no regrets in fact as the days unwind i am more and more grateful. Besides that i thank God for wonderful friendships in miri, and for the family of God, its really something unique. The other day i met ray from necf in kuching, wasn't expecting to meet him here but it was nice seeing him again. :D
Thank You Lord for EVERYTHING!
~shalom~
Lost and found.
I know it looks like a small thing but i really thank God that i didn't lose my datastructures and algorithms in java book. If i did not only would be paying for the book but i might have nothing to study with for the exam. Besides all that i would really look at myself as an irresponsible person, thats worse.
You are near.
I thank God for showing me that he truly cares for me, despite everything that has happened. I just thank God for the reassurances, i feel its priceless. And I want to say i'm sorry Lord for all the times i shut my ears and would not listen, did not respond to your calls. I was just looking back at my posts and want to add that i really like the note i got from my "angel" in vcf. I think its really nice la. Thank God for that.
Bario
I thank God for the opportunity to go to Bario. Its was really a good trip, just to experience the culture and the life there. And the people, to be able to be a part of the ministry team there. I also thank God for the time we got to trek into the jungle and all the hospitality and the fun ride on the really small plane, the smallest i've been on so far.
Little Nigeria
Thank God for a little experience of home by way of pastor Gbenga who literally invigorated my spirit with life. Really thank that man ;)
4months
Its been 4 months, i'm still here. Life still goes on. I have no regrets in fact as the days unwind i am more and more grateful. Besides that i thank God for wonderful friendships in miri, and for the family of God, its really something unique. The other day i met ray from necf in kuching, wasn't expecting to meet him here but it was nice seeing him again. :D
Thank You Lord for EVERYTHING!
~shalom~
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
reading lists
My reading list
One more day before i begin my exams. I must say i'm quite worried about my exams. I've been studying but I still feel worried especially as this is my first exam experience in Curtin and I dont know what to expect. Well if its like the test then it should be ok. But stil...
Somehow i also feel there are times all you need is faith, and just trust God to take care of things. Its not easy to do that but considering the alternative its a better state of mind to be in.
And it doesn't help matters when people start leaving while you have not even started your paper. Its so not fair :P
Anyways i've got a whole lot of studying to do.
~shalom~
Sunday, November 11, 2007
I come
Just as I am without one plea
But that thy blood was shed for me
And now thou bids me, come they thee
O Lamb of God I come, I come.
But that thy blood was shed for me
And now thou bids me, come they thee
O Lamb of God I come, I come.
I tried to listen to some music last night, thought its been a while since i listened to coldplay to i listened for a while and got fed up with it after two songs. Then i searched my music library for some hymns and listened to that instead. My roommate was watching a hindi movie and i was suppose to be studying but between the movie, the song and my books i could not concentrate. So stopped and listened to the music instead.
I've always loved hymns, and i feel its kind of taken a less prominent role in modern church services. Hymns have a way of getting to your spirit, heart and soul and really express the deepest longing of the heart. They also serve as checks, and question our motives and present relationship with God. For example, you can sing the lines;
And he walked with me and he talked with me
And he tells me I am his own
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known
And he tells me I am his own
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known
When getting up in the morning to pray is a challenge. God never condemns though it is just man that tries to judge, and i am in no way judging just making a point.
So anyway i felt really blessed listening to the hymns, especially as the songs these days just entertain and don't really leave you with anything of eternal value. I felt encouraged after reading a book i got a long time ago that contained twelve of our favourite hymns today with some background to what inspired the authors to pen down these immortal words.
I was reminded that I dont need to wait until i have no faults to come to God, and that he bids me, to come to him. I remember what fred shared last time, there's nothing we can do to make God love us more or less he just does. And nothing can separate us from the love of God except maybe we ourselves. And you dont have to wait for you life to be straightened out right to come to him, because it may never be. I was reminded also last night that there are only a few things we are prepared for in this life. For everything else like lanre says on his yahoo messenger, all you need is faith.
Thank you Father that you invite me to come to you, just as I am. :)
~shalom~
Friday, November 09, 2007
lost and found
Just how do you lose a book? Now how do you lose a book you need for exams? I'm not sure why i lost the book. I'm not sure on which day i lost it but thinking it through it must have been on Saturday. I took the 3.30 bus back home and forgot it in the bus. I didn't notice it was gone until Monday. I just can't seem to study on Sundays because after church we all go makan only to get back by 2 or 3 something. By then you feel so sleepy already then later call friends go for dinner and Sunday is gone.
Monday was spent thinking of where i could have left the darn thing, so i asked the stores where i went to and they didn't have it but it was not to be found there.
Tuesday was spent thinking of the consequences of losing the library's book. I would have to shell out hundreds of ringgit to replace the book so i didnt tell them it was lost, instead i asked them to renew all the books in my possession to the same day. Now i dont have to worry about paying the late fees if i dont find the book on time. I also did what i was suppose to do earlier on, ask the bus driver if he came across the book which i did and turns out he did so i was semi happy. He gave the book to the security on duty but he was not on duty on tuesday, and no one knew where he kept it so i could not get the book. However they asked me to fill the lost and found form. I filled it with all the details and was asked to wait till the next day, hence my semi happiness.
Wednesday was spent being cool, not worrying too much and giving them time to get things in order. I just reminded the lady that made me fill the l&f form and she said to come back after 2, then the officer i need to see will be on duty, so i was calm and after 2 i got a call from her and she was there with the officer. He was smiling and said i need to give him tapao, i just smiled, and he said you know what tapao is right and i said yes but i was not really going to give him anything. Just said thank you uncle, and smiled a lot. He had the smell of ciggs on him and as he smiled it revealed a black cigg stain on his teeth close to the gum. I was disgusted but grateful.
Then he went on, if i dont keep, how much you have to pay? I said this not in scolding tone but in a you need to be grateful boy, tone. I kept the smile and say thank you uncle routine going until he gave me the book. I only needed to sign off on the l&f form and the book was mine until the end of exams that is.
I really thank God found it, and dont have to pay for it.
~shalom~
Monday was spent thinking of where i could have left the darn thing, so i asked the stores where i went to and they didn't have it but it was not to be found there.
Tuesday was spent thinking of the consequences of losing the library's book. I would have to shell out hundreds of ringgit to replace the book so i didnt tell them it was lost, instead i asked them to renew all the books in my possession to the same day. Now i dont have to worry about paying the late fees if i dont find the book on time. I also did what i was suppose to do earlier on, ask the bus driver if he came across the book which i did and turns out he did so i was semi happy. He gave the book to the security on duty but he was not on duty on tuesday, and no one knew where he kept it so i could not get the book. However they asked me to fill the lost and found form. I filled it with all the details and was asked to wait till the next day, hence my semi happiness.
Wednesday was spent being cool, not worrying too much and giving them time to get things in order. I just reminded the lady that made me fill the l&f form and she said to come back after 2, then the officer i need to see will be on duty, so i was calm and after 2 i got a call from her and she was there with the officer. He was smiling and said i need to give him tapao, i just smiled, and he said you know what tapao is right and i said yes but i was not really going to give him anything. Just said thank you uncle, and smiled a lot. He had the smell of ciggs on him and as he smiled it revealed a black cigg stain on his teeth close to the gum. I was disgusted but grateful.
Then he went on, if i dont keep, how much you have to pay? I said this not in scolding tone but in a you need to be grateful boy, tone. I kept the smile and say thank you uncle routine going until he gave me the book. I only needed to sign off on the l&f form and the book was mine until the end of exams that is.
I really thank God found it, and dont have to pay for it.
~shalom~
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
perculiarities
Something funny happened this morning, something i have feared would happen one of these days. So i went out to take my shower, usually i lock the door and take the keys with me to the bathroom and this time i did the same thing, only i didnt take the right key instead i took the keys to the back gate that was in my hand at the time. My brain didnt co-ordinate with my eyes to see that it was the wrong set of keys. I only realised my mistake after the nice, long cold shower. Ah only then did i realise i was in trouble.
Normally what happens in situations like these that you can ask the guard to open the door for you and you dont have to pay anything for the first three times after that they charge 10bucks if you need them to open the door. This was only my second time, the first time was not my fault. My roommate locked the door and went away with the keys not knowing i was still in the house. So yeah.
Now i couldn't go because i only had my towel around my waist, actually i could go but its a long walk from my house to the guard post. So luckily for me i found my nextdoor neighbor at home with his window nicely open so i can ask for his room keys to see if it would open mine, since some of the keys can open other doors they're not suppose to open china}. But that didnt do it so he offered to go get the keys for me and i was saved. No more locking doors for me, thats for sure.
Another perculiarity happened after i was reunited with my favourite clothes and was out in the bus stop waiting for the bus. I had 30 mins to wait and this guy who for some reason always forget my japanese name and calls me steven. Steven? Do i look like a steven? He always has a smile on his face and is always asking for cigarrettes. I think everytime i meet him he's either asking me if i have ciggs or if i smoke. This time he has his park of the red and brown brand, not sure of the name. He was half way through the thing and discovered the pack had a small depression probably because of the way it was stored and he was like look at the pack they gave to me, and used a curse word. I was beginning to be irritated.
Then he asked me if i smoke and i said no and he asked why and i said because i dont want to. At this point he just finished one stick and was getting another one. I particularly dont like the smell of ciggs, and the thought of sitting through another dose of poisonous second hand smoke set my brain thinking of an excuse to get out of there. So i told him i was to go get a drink and if he wants some, he looked at me with excitement in his face and said a drink? Then i said yeah, water or something, he must have thought i mean tiger or something. I guess we didnt get to the part where he asks if i drink too. But it was not entirely and excuse because i was thirsty and needed a drink but i also needed to get away from there.
When i got back he was not there. Thank You Jesus for water and somethings...:)
~shalom~
Normally what happens in situations like these that you can ask the guard to open the door for you and you dont have to pay anything for the first three times after that they charge 10bucks if you need them to open the door. This was only my second time, the first time was not my fault. My roommate locked the door and went away with the keys not knowing i was still in the house. So yeah.
Now i couldn't go because i only had my towel around my waist, actually i could go but its a long walk from my house to the guard post. So luckily for me i found my nextdoor neighbor at home with his window nicely open so i can ask for his room keys to see if it would open mine, since some of the keys can open other doors they're not suppose to open china}. But that didnt do it so he offered to go get the keys for me and i was saved. No more locking doors for me, thats for sure.
Another perculiarity happened after i was reunited with my favourite clothes and was out in the bus stop waiting for the bus. I had 30 mins to wait and this guy who for some reason always forget my japanese name and calls me steven. Steven? Do i look like a steven? He always has a smile on his face and is always asking for cigarrettes. I think everytime i meet him he's either asking me if i have ciggs or if i smoke. This time he has his park of the red and brown brand, not sure of the name. He was half way through the thing and discovered the pack had a small depression probably because of the way it was stored and he was like look at the pack they gave to me, and used a curse word. I was beginning to be irritated.
Then he asked me if i smoke and i said no and he asked why and i said because i dont want to. At this point he just finished one stick and was getting another one. I particularly dont like the smell of ciggs, and the thought of sitting through another dose of poisonous second hand smoke set my brain thinking of an excuse to get out of there. So i told him i was to go get a drink and if he wants some, he looked at me with excitement in his face and said a drink? Then i said yeah, water or something, he must have thought i mean tiger or something. I guess we didnt get to the part where he asks if i drink too. But it was not entirely and excuse because i was thirsty and needed a drink but i also needed to get away from there.
When i got back he was not there. Thank You Jesus for water and somethings...:)
~shalom~
Sunday, November 04, 2007
10 more days
10 more days to my finals. I like that its back to back so i can take it all and be free for another 3 months. Gosh 3 months of no school! How am i going to survive. I mean i like the break but i am no comfortable with the length.
I will be moving out of my current accommodation. Its much more expensive that the houses outside, well some of the houses and the internet there is unreliable so yeah. Found a place for about 150 with internet but its quite far from the bus station. That is my only concern. Just called my mom to inform her and she was more concerned about my safety. I still miss my mom so much.
I had one suspicion confirmed today. My pastor revealed that he has visited this blog, and even though it didnt come as an absolute shock i was kind of taken aback. Its ok la, i dont write things that would unsettle people, at least i dont think i do.
Its amazing the influence words have on people, and how blogs can communicate words to lift up to depress. I know its a personal space but sometimes i feel like you know, am i being a blessing to someone or just thinking about me. I think its a balance that has to be struck somewhere between being honest and letting out and being aware of the effect it may have on others.
In other maybe unrelated chatter, this year has been one of many challenges, some i'm not sure i handled well but its one year i'm grateful to God for all he has done and continues to do in my life and the lives of people i love. I am truly thankful for EVERYTHING. Can't wait for next year.
~shalom~
I will be moving out of my current accommodation. Its much more expensive that the houses outside, well some of the houses and the internet there is unreliable so yeah. Found a place for about 150 with internet but its quite far from the bus station. That is my only concern. Just called my mom to inform her and she was more concerned about my safety. I still miss my mom so much.
I had one suspicion confirmed today. My pastor revealed that he has visited this blog, and even though it didnt come as an absolute shock i was kind of taken aback. Its ok la, i dont write things that would unsettle people, at least i dont think i do.
Its amazing the influence words have on people, and how blogs can communicate words to lift up to depress. I know its a personal space but sometimes i feel like you know, am i being a blessing to someone or just thinking about me. I think its a balance that has to be struck somewhere between being honest and letting out and being aware of the effect it may have on others.
In other maybe unrelated chatter, this year has been one of many challenges, some i'm not sure i handled well but its one year i'm grateful to God for all he has done and continues to do in my life and the lives of people i love. I am truly thankful for EVERYTHING. Can't wait for next year.
~shalom~
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
140
Its the last day of October, and my 140th post, and also about 14days to my first paper. Also i have a quiz to study for today. It carries no marks but its another preparation for the big day.
I'm tempted to say, no more internet, no more blogging, from now on its study study study but it just doesn't work for me. I have a rather short attention span.
We had two friends from Youth With A Mission based in the Hawaiian island of Maui last night in our life group. They shared a bit on how prayer has helped them along their ministry to the people mostly in Borneo and how they were suppose to just pass by miri to Brunei for an opportunty to speak there but amongst them was a South African and he was denied entry. Apparently he needs a visa, like me.
One thing that i was reminded of, and its interesting how these things keep coming up is how prayer is suppose to be a communication with God and not just a request time. I quote one of my favourite quotes on prayer and God, "God is not a celestial vending machine..."
Many times prayer can be relegated to morning s and evenings but what happens to the rest of the day? Ah! so busy, no time for anything. True but what is really important? I must say this is how my days have been for a while now, school has been so engaging that i hardly think about God as the day progresses.
There's nothing, in all our pursuits thats more important than that relationship with God, and relationships need communication to survive.
I want to talk to you more Lord, everyday, to find a chance to know what you want. What can i do for you for a change?
~shalom~
I'm tempted to say, no more internet, no more blogging, from now on its study study study but it just doesn't work for me. I have a rather short attention span.
We had two friends from Youth With A Mission based in the Hawaiian island of Maui last night in our life group. They shared a bit on how prayer has helped them along their ministry to the people mostly in Borneo and how they were suppose to just pass by miri to Brunei for an opportunty to speak there but amongst them was a South African and he was denied entry. Apparently he needs a visa, like me.
One thing that i was reminded of, and its interesting how these things keep coming up is how prayer is suppose to be a communication with God and not just a request time. I quote one of my favourite quotes on prayer and God, "God is not a celestial vending machine..."
Many times prayer can be relegated to morning s and evenings but what happens to the rest of the day? Ah! so busy, no time for anything. True but what is really important? I must say this is how my days have been for a while now, school has been so engaging that i hardly think about God as the day progresses.
There's nothing, in all our pursuits thats more important than that relationship with God, and relationships need communication to survive.
I want to talk to you more Lord, everyday, to find a chance to know what you want. What can i do for you for a change?
~shalom~
Sunday, October 28, 2007
thank God for today
What an eventful day. I thank God for this day. Yesterday i was so fed up i considered shutting down this blog because i thought to myself, whats the point? I set up this blog for two reason, the first is to give glory to God and be an encouragement however i can, and the other is to connect with friends and keep in touch with everyone and lately i feel i've not been fulfilling any of these objectives and if not for the crappy internet i get that didn't let me connect, the post would have gone up and that would be it but thank God for today.
So what happened today?
Well it actually started yesterday when we went to EYM and discussed about the life of Joseph how he had a God perspective in everything, we never find him bitter through all the misfortunes and wickedness that his own brothers showed towards him, he didnt let that change him, he didnt hold it against him, and he kept performing at his best even in the lowest demoralising situations where he would have sulked and felt pity for himself. He didnt, and he was a human being like me. We also talked about monuments and how they make us remember the past or something significant, and how we can build monuments that remind us of the unfairness and hurt that we go through. I remembered the sad messages i hung on to and how it reminded me of all the hurts and promptly deleted them. Its so true bah.
So what happened today?
Well today i got a taste of a Nigerian service in the form of pastor Gbenga. He was talking about knowing who you are, and how you cannot know who you are until you know whose you are. We belong to God yeah true but how much of this God do we really know? Can we stand like puny {I've been longing to use the word puny} David in the face of Goliath the Giant and call him names when the other more qualified soldiers are shaking in their boots? Can we make fun of the priests of baal like Elijah? I was really challenged today, but felt a bit worried for the Malaysians that had to listen to this typical Nigerian service, with the yelling and shouting but i feel they enjoyed Pastor Gbena's active illustrations :)
Where do you go from here?
I'm really tired of feeling sorry for myself, whats done is done, and there's nothing that i can do to change that. All i have is today, all i can do is live every today for God so that when i retire at the end of the day i can be satisfied that i'm living according to his purposes. For ALL THINGS work together for the good for those who love God, to them that are called according to his purposes.
My offering stays...
~shalom~
So what happened today?
Well it actually started yesterday when we went to EYM and discussed about the life of Joseph how he had a God perspective in everything, we never find him bitter through all the misfortunes and wickedness that his own brothers showed towards him, he didnt let that change him, he didnt hold it against him, and he kept performing at his best even in the lowest demoralising situations where he would have sulked and felt pity for himself. He didnt, and he was a human being like me. We also talked about monuments and how they make us remember the past or something significant, and how we can build monuments that remind us of the unfairness and hurt that we go through. I remembered the sad messages i hung on to and how it reminded me of all the hurts and promptly deleted them. Its so true bah.
So what happened today?
Well today i got a taste of a Nigerian service in the form of pastor Gbenga. He was talking about knowing who you are, and how you cannot know who you are until you know whose you are. We belong to God yeah true but how much of this God do we really know? Can we stand like puny {I've been longing to use the word puny} David in the face of Goliath the Giant and call him names when the other more qualified soldiers are shaking in their boots? Can we make fun of the priests of baal like Elijah? I was really challenged today, but felt a bit worried for the Malaysians that had to listen to this typical Nigerian service, with the yelling and shouting but i feel they enjoyed Pastor Gbena's active illustrations :)
Where do you go from here?
I'm really tired of feeling sorry for myself, whats done is done, and there's nothing that i can do to change that. All i have is today, all i can do is live every today for God so that when i retire at the end of the day i can be satisfied that i'm living according to his purposes. For ALL THINGS work together for the good for those who love God, to them that are called according to his purposes.
My offering stays...
~shalom~
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
I am not alright
There's the song from i think its ReliantK and part of this song says 'I am not alright, i broken inside, broken inside...' Today i feel kind of like that. I dunno why but i just feel kind of depressed at the moment. No i'm not scared to say it, i feel i need to be honest about certain things. My mom always say identifying the a problem is the first part to solving a problem and she's right.
Maybe it was all the sad messages i read last night. I dont know why i still hang on to them but i like collecting things and part of me feels its historical and should stay but i cannot keep them at the expense of my well-being.
I went to the shower this morning and just thanked God for everything that has happened over the years, i remembered thinking to myself some years back before i came to Malaysia how i didnt want to become a doctor, besides being terrified of blood and not fancying reading the volumes that made up biology. I remember thinking of the enormous responsibility doctors have, and how the life of someone is in their hands and if they make even the slightest error it could cost the life of a father, breadwinner or a soulmate. The fear of that responsibility griped me and as i thought of it this morning it became apparent that even as an engineer they also have this responsibility of human lives albeit in an indirect way. And even programmers who make softwares carry some weight of this responsibility. And i thought of how i have carried my responsibility out and how i keep failing in them.
But i find it equally interesting that God allows these things to happen, someone once asked me why God allows people to fail even when he can help, and she answered her own question when she said it was to develop a greater trust and faith in us but there's one more thing that i see. The way i see God is as someone who is infinitely wiser and better than me in everything i do or even think is possible. And Jesus feels what we feel but through it all he's perfecting us, making us more like him, more like what we are created for. So even though there's pain and anger and unanswered questions and dare i say doubt? He's looking at what you will become after its all over. And thats the joy, thats what we should be looking at but man is so nearsighted that all we see is now and the immediate.
I just finished class still down my friend came online and asked if i have ever been angry with someone and we talked for a while and i discovered he's just like me, broken inside but we managed to {in a few words} look at anger with God's perspective. And that we have a choice to shun the wrong and do the right.
Just now i went to jolina's blog and she had this all familiar quote
And just reading that i felt encouragement, and looking at my site records i discovered there were two visits to the post i made before leaving Kuching adequately titled think about his love and I cannot help but feel God reaching out to me on this one day i feel very weird inside. So i live you with the lyrics to the song, think about his love, praying that he will indeed satisfy your desires.
Think about His goodness
Think about His grace
That's brought us through
For as high as the heavens above
So great is the measure of our Father's love
Great is the measure of our Father's love
How could I forget His love
How could I forget His mercy
He satisfies - He satisfies
He satisfies my desires
Great is the measure of our Father's love
~shalom~
Maybe it was all the sad messages i read last night. I dont know why i still hang on to them but i like collecting things and part of me feels its historical and should stay but i cannot keep them at the expense of my well-being.
I went to the shower this morning and just thanked God for everything that has happened over the years, i remembered thinking to myself some years back before i came to Malaysia how i didnt want to become a doctor, besides being terrified of blood and not fancying reading the volumes that made up biology. I remember thinking of the enormous responsibility doctors have, and how the life of someone is in their hands and if they make even the slightest error it could cost the life of a father, breadwinner or a soulmate. The fear of that responsibility griped me and as i thought of it this morning it became apparent that even as an engineer they also have this responsibility of human lives albeit in an indirect way. And even programmers who make softwares carry some weight of this responsibility. And i thought of how i have carried my responsibility out and how i keep failing in them.
But i find it equally interesting that God allows these things to happen, someone once asked me why God allows people to fail even when he can help, and she answered her own question when she said it was to develop a greater trust and faith in us but there's one more thing that i see. The way i see God is as someone who is infinitely wiser and better than me in everything i do or even think is possible. And Jesus feels what we feel but through it all he's perfecting us, making us more like him, more like what we are created for. So even though there's pain and anger and unanswered questions and dare i say doubt? He's looking at what you will become after its all over. And thats the joy, thats what we should be looking at but man is so nearsighted that all we see is now and the immediate.
I just finished class still down my friend came online and asked if i have ever been angry with someone and we talked for a while and i discovered he's just like me, broken inside but we managed to {in a few words} look at anger with God's perspective. And that we have a choice to shun the wrong and do the right.
Just now i went to jolina's blog and she had this all familiar quote
Life can give us a hundred reasons to cry ='(
But we can give a thousand reasons to smile =)
But we can give a thousand reasons to smile =)
And just reading that i felt encouragement, and looking at my site records i discovered there were two visits to the post i made before leaving Kuching adequately titled think about his love and I cannot help but feel God reaching out to me on this one day i feel very weird inside. So i live you with the lyrics to the song, think about his love, praying that he will indeed satisfy your desires.
Think About His LoveThink about His love
- Written by: Walt Harrah -
© 1987 Integrity's Hosanna! Music
Think about His goodness
Think about His grace
That's brought us through
For as high as the heavens above
So great is the measure of our Father's love
Great is the measure of our Father's love
How could I forget His love
How could I forget His mercy
He satisfies - He satisfies
He satisfies my desires
Great is the measure of our Father's love
~shalom~
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
getting to know you.
Some of you may be unaware but i have this neat tool provided by google no surprise, that lets me get useful statistics about this site. For example. I know that most people who visit this blog are from malaysia, mostly in kuching, miri and some other parts of west Malaysia. More on that in a moment. I also know that more people prefer to use firefox than internet explorer which is a good thing. And the most commonly used screen resolution is 1024x768 {same as mine} along with other useful data.
Why do i need this?
Curiousity they said killed the cat which is why i'm glad i'm not a cat but i guess i just need to know. I don't have people's ip addresses for example, that would be stalking. But i'm fascinated to know people visit the site from all over the world. I've had hits from Japan {hey i'm Japanese bah}, South Africa, UK {wonder who that could be?}, Sweden, Germany, Indonesia, Australia, Canada, but a lot lately from the US and consistently too.
What do you know?
I know this much, my dedicated US reader is in the state of virginia, you use windows most of the time but also linux sometimes, visits regularly and by the time spent on the site i'm guessing he/she {i'll just call you dude}, dude reads most of my post but never comments or anything. So please dude {sorry if you're a girl} please reveal yourself. I hope i don't shock you with the revelation but the truth is many sites these days use these tools to better target their customers and content. While it is most unlikely i will tailor the posts here to suit anyone in particular, it would help me to be more aware and explain things everyday Malaysians would understand.
In west Malaysia, I get people from Kajang. Do i know anyone in Kajang? Please say hello la. I'm not begging for comments just want to know who you is. If you need to remain anonymous its fine, i hope the blog is a blessing to you.
~shalom~
Why do i need this?
Curiousity they said killed the cat which is why i'm glad i'm not a cat but i guess i just need to know. I don't have people's ip addresses for example, that would be stalking. But i'm fascinated to know people visit the site from all over the world. I've had hits from Japan {hey i'm Japanese bah}, South Africa, UK {wonder who that could be?}, Sweden, Germany, Indonesia, Australia, Canada, but a lot lately from the US and consistently too.
What do you know?
I know this much, my dedicated US reader is in the state of virginia, you use windows most of the time but also linux sometimes, visits regularly and by the time spent on the site i'm guessing he/she {i'll just call you dude}, dude reads most of my post but never comments or anything. So please dude {sorry if you're a girl} please reveal yourself. I hope i don't shock you with the revelation but the truth is many sites these days use these tools to better target their customers and content. While it is most unlikely i will tailor the posts here to suit anyone in particular, it would help me to be more aware and explain things everyday Malaysians would understand.
In west Malaysia, I get people from Kajang. Do i know anyone in Kajang? Please say hello la. I'm not begging for comments just want to know who you is. If you need to remain anonymous its fine, i hope the blog is a blessing to you.
~shalom~
Friday, October 19, 2007
without you
Big daddy weave is among one of my favourite artists because of the quality of his lyrics. These days you listen to 'christian songs' and don't feel like you're praising God or anything. Its nice but lacks a certain something that makes you feel better and they tend to lift you high temporarily. Sad that christian songs have become so secular.
I like this song because its very relevant to my life at the moment and i feel i'm not the only one. Besides that its a nice song. I can't live without you, i dont wanna try to, live one more moment without you - beautiful.
I like this song because its very relevant to my life at the moment and i feel i'm not the only one. Besides that its a nice song. I can't live without you, i dont wanna try to, live one more moment without you - beautiful.
Without you - big daddy weave
Would we hear the sound
Of breathing in the dark
Where would be life’s spark
Without You
Would the birds ever sing
Would the wind move through the trees
Could I touch the grass so green
Under this big sky be so blue
Without You
And the sun doesn’t shine
And my world stops spinnin’ round
Without You
Tell me where else could I ever find
The peace that floods this heart of mine
Without You
Who could fill, the emptiness inside
Who would ease the pain, in my broken heart
Who would come in and abide
Promise never to depart
Without You
I can’t live without You
I don’t want to try to
Live one more moment without You
This is my prayer Lord.
~shalom~
Would we hear the sound
Of breathing in the dark
Where would be life’s spark
Without You
Would the birds ever sing
Would the wind move through the trees
Could I touch the grass so green
Under this big sky be so blue
Without You
And the sun doesn’t shine
And my world stops spinnin’ round
Without You
Tell me where else could I ever find
The peace that floods this heart of mine
Without You
Who could fill, the emptiness inside
Who would ease the pain, in my broken heart
Who would come in and abide
Promise never to depart
Without You
I can’t live without You
I don’t want to try to
Live one more moment without You
This is my prayer Lord.
~shalom~
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
stay one more night: the bario hospitality
I came back from Bario, one of the greatest places in Borneo. The reason we went {the were 6 of us} was to transport musical equipments to smk Bario and to teach them how to take good care of the equipment so they can use it for a long time.
Smk Bario is quite unique in that the seniors of the school are form three. After form three they have to go to Marudi to continue their studies. Not sure why its like that but there's basically no higher education after form three in the school.
We received a very warm welcome. A very formal welcome to the school so much that i felt like a dignitary. True to the Bario warm hospitality, they offer pineapple drink to all visitors, doesn't matter if you've been there before, its their way of saying thank you for coming, we receive you. The drink is fantastic, its basically pineapple with a straw in it, and you have to drink all the way until its finished. The also offered the bead neacklaces for everyone of us, Bario rice and salt. On top of that they played the local flutes for us singing all christian songs. Wah i tell you the feeling is very good. But we came to serve not to be served la.
Pastor Hii, his daughter Charis, Michael and Robin came earlier in the year, so this was the second trip to Bario for them. For Edward and myself it was our first trip. I was told Bario is quite cold so most of my clothes were black and i came with my jacket but surprisingly it wasn't that cold. In fact in the afternoons its quite warm. The nights are cold but not as cold as say genting. What is cold though is the water so taking shower can be quite a challenge. But even the water feels cold only initially after that it becomes sweet and enjoyable, you dont want to come out.
We were fed like kings all through our time there, we stayed at the school in a chalet style house. There was electricity the whole time we were there. The main source of electricity in Bario is through diesel generators. Some people supplement this with solar panels. The house we stayed didnt have any TV but the other houses had astro but we didnt really have time to watch tv.
Setting up the equipments was fun. The students were very enthusiastic to learn the instruments. A few of them were already quite good especially on the drums and guitar so a bulk of the time was spent teaching them new techniques and inspiring them to be creative in their worship leading. This session was basically done by Robin. He's really good with the kids.
On the first night we had a male bonding time, just talking about stuff, life, relationships and stuff. Pastor Hii really enjoyed himself but basically Edward and Michael were playing match maker for Robin. I didn't participate much and well you can understand if i dont talk about the details of what transpired.
We got the chance to go deep into the forest into the place where they make the salt. Its not like the normal white salt we're all used to. The process of making the salt is very tedious. We didnt see it live being made but brother Morris {the pengatuan} explained the process to us. The journey to the salt spring is very long, about 20min on bike and then another 45min on foot. Good exercise however it became apperent i need to get into shape. I was panting the whole journey but it was nice la except for the bumpy roads, my butt still hurts.
Overall i had a very good time. Would love to go again sometime with a better camera so i can really take better shots. I find i really enjoy taking pictures. Anyway, here are a few pictures from the trip. More pictures at my flickr page. {I need a pro account} Sorry the post is kind of long.
We went on this small plane. Surprisingly the ride was very smooth.
Inside of the plane
Michael riding at the back of the hilux
Smk Bario
They played very beautifully
Testimony time = singing time and they all come out to sing
This is for the internet i guess.
You may have heard about the revival that broke out in Bario. This is where it took place.
One of the sessions
Bridge
tiger beer in the forest
walk the plank
there were a lot of fern on the path
this is where they make salt
What does lubang garam mean? I'm thinking salt spring?
R loves P
this is where the salt comes from
some description of the site
inside the hut
my boots
we had fun here
motobike rides are really nice
bario museum
this is where we stayed
selamat datang ke bario
i was kind of scared sitting so close to the propellers.
can even see the cockpit one
Large supplies come to Bario on boats.
the roads snake though the jungle
we stopped over at marudi for a while, bought marudi bread
not sure whats going on here.
Thank God for Everything.
~shalom~
Smk Bario is quite unique in that the seniors of the school are form three. After form three they have to go to Marudi to continue their studies. Not sure why its like that but there's basically no higher education after form three in the school.
We received a very warm welcome. A very formal welcome to the school so much that i felt like a dignitary. True to the Bario warm hospitality, they offer pineapple drink to all visitors, doesn't matter if you've been there before, its their way of saying thank you for coming, we receive you. The drink is fantastic, its basically pineapple with a straw in it, and you have to drink all the way until its finished. The also offered the bead neacklaces for everyone of us, Bario rice and salt. On top of that they played the local flutes for us singing all christian songs. Wah i tell you the feeling is very good. But we came to serve not to be served la.
Pastor Hii, his daughter Charis, Michael and Robin came earlier in the year, so this was the second trip to Bario for them. For Edward and myself it was our first trip. I was told Bario is quite cold so most of my clothes were black and i came with my jacket but surprisingly it wasn't that cold. In fact in the afternoons its quite warm. The nights are cold but not as cold as say genting. What is cold though is the water so taking shower can be quite a challenge. But even the water feels cold only initially after that it becomes sweet and enjoyable, you dont want to come out.
We were fed like kings all through our time there, we stayed at the school in a chalet style house. There was electricity the whole time we were there. The main source of electricity in Bario is through diesel generators. Some people supplement this with solar panels. The house we stayed didnt have any TV but the other houses had astro but we didnt really have time to watch tv.
Setting up the equipments was fun. The students were very enthusiastic to learn the instruments. A few of them were already quite good especially on the drums and guitar so a bulk of the time was spent teaching them new techniques and inspiring them to be creative in their worship leading. This session was basically done by Robin. He's really good with the kids.
On the first night we had a male bonding time, just talking about stuff, life, relationships and stuff. Pastor Hii really enjoyed himself but basically Edward and Michael were playing match maker for Robin. I didn't participate much and well you can understand if i dont talk about the details of what transpired.
We got the chance to go deep into the forest into the place where they make the salt. Its not like the normal white salt we're all used to. The process of making the salt is very tedious. We didnt see it live being made but brother Morris {the pengatuan} explained the process to us. The journey to the salt spring is very long, about 20min on bike and then another 45min on foot. Good exercise however it became apperent i need to get into shape. I was panting the whole journey but it was nice la except for the bumpy roads, my butt still hurts.
Overall i had a very good time. Would love to go again sometime with a better camera so i can really take better shots. I find i really enjoy taking pictures. Anyway, here are a few pictures from the trip. More pictures at my flickr page. {I need a pro account} Sorry the post is kind of long.
We went on this small plane. Surprisingly the ride was very smooth.
Inside of the plane
Michael riding at the back of the hilux
Smk Bario
They played very beautifully
Testimony time = singing time and they all come out to sing
This is for the internet i guess.
You may have heard about the revival that broke out in Bario. This is where it took place.
One of the sessions
Bridge
tiger beer in the forest
walk the plank
there were a lot of fern on the path
this is where they make salt
What does lubang garam mean? I'm thinking salt spring?
R loves P
this is where the salt comes from
some description of the site
inside the hut
my boots
we had fun here
motobike rides are really nice
bario museum
this is where we stayed
selamat datang ke bario
i was kind of scared sitting so close to the propellers.
can even see the cockpit one
Large supplies come to Bario on boats.
the roads snake though the jungle
we stopped over at marudi for a while, bought marudi bread
not sure whats going on here.
Thank God for Everything.
~shalom~
Friday, October 12, 2007
off to bario
This weekend i'll be going off to Bario with some of the brothers in church. We're going off to transport some musical instruments to the church there, as well as teach the folks how to use the instruments.... I think i've said this before.
I'm excited, at times like this i wish i had a camera i can call my own and really take as much shorts as possible. I could borrow someone's camera but then would be held liable for any damages so that leaves my camera phone.
I'm looking forward to the famous Bario rice and pineapples, but i have concerns over the kind of weather to expect over there. My body does not handle cold very well so it could be a challenge. There will be tours of the... place. And some workshops in the evening time.
Pray
Please pray for a safe journey to and fro, and a wonderful time. Please pray that we would get to transport all the instruments and that it would bless the people there. Will update when i come back on Monday, remain blessed.
~shalom~
I'm excited, at times like this i wish i had a camera i can call my own and really take as much shorts as possible. I could borrow someone's camera but then would be held liable for any damages so that leaves my camera phone.
I'm looking forward to the famous Bario rice and pineapples, but i have concerns over the kind of weather to expect over there. My body does not handle cold very well so it could be a challenge. There will be tours of the... place. And some workshops in the evening time.
Pray
Please pray for a safe journey to and fro, and a wonderful time. Please pray that we would get to transport all the instruments and that it would bless the people there. Will update when i come back on Monday, remain blessed.
~shalom~
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Testimonies for September
No i didn't forget. I've been thinking, what really happened in September that i want to thank God for? What significant thing can i look back on and be really grateful? A lot happened last month. I was reminded and still am being reminded that happiness is a choice we choose everyday as long as we live. And there is no true happiness without God, everything is just temporary and fake. I also reflected on committments and how the committments we make help us make the right decisions or the wrong ones. I once read a book that adviced to support something that you are committed to with your time, money and influence. I think thats solid advice, and its a shame sometimes when people break committments, when we break our committments with God and with other people.
September also saw another birthday being celebrated, sam was +1 last month, that was fun. I'm glad to be part of it. But basically what i want to thank God for last month is really for the small things.
I want to thank God for my family for that way he has kept us and for his faithfulness everyday. For my dad for keeping him safe through all his journeys and travels, for my sisters and my brother, i feel so blessed knowing they're ok.
I want to thank God for providing for me everyday, for his protection, He that watches over me does not sleep or slumber even though i do. Thank God for my church, for putting me in a stategic place where i can hear the truth about the word of God. For opportunities that are opening up in various areas of my life.
I especially want to thank God for these 3months, there have been many changes but i'm still here. And i know even though sometimes your ways i cannot understand. I'll never walk away because my future is in your hands.
Help me Lord to trust you more, to grow deeper in my faith, help my weaknesses that I may not cause pain or bring shame to your name. Keep me Lord in your love, and by your grace help me take the sometimes unreasonable paths to your presence and your purpose. For in my own way i am foolish, but in your ways i appear to be wise. Thank You Lord for this month.
~shalom~
September also saw another birthday being celebrated, sam was +1 last month, that was fun. I'm glad to be part of it. But basically what i want to thank God for last month is really for the small things.
I want to thank God for my family for that way he has kept us and for his faithfulness everyday. For my dad for keeping him safe through all his journeys and travels, for my sisters and my brother, i feel so blessed knowing they're ok.
I want to thank God for providing for me everyday, for his protection, He that watches over me does not sleep or slumber even though i do. Thank God for my church, for putting me in a stategic place where i can hear the truth about the word of God. For opportunities that are opening up in various areas of my life.
I especially want to thank God for these 3months, there have been many changes but i'm still here. And i know even though sometimes your ways i cannot understand. I'll never walk away because my future is in your hands.
Help me Lord to trust you more, to grow deeper in my faith, help my weaknesses that I may not cause pain or bring shame to your name. Keep me Lord in your love, and by your grace help me take the sometimes unreasonable paths to your presence and your purpose. For in my own way i am foolish, but in your ways i appear to be wise. Thank You Lord for this month.
~shalom~
Sunday, October 07, 2007
do the dance: evans almighty
Usually when i give my thoughts about movies, its about movies i watch in the cinema but i think i'll make an exception on this one.
Evan Almighty, only now i get to watch it but i'm glad my initial thoughts about it were wrong. Full of humour, sometimes cynical, funny, with good solid morals and values. Honestly i feel movies that makes you feel like you want to be a better person should be made more especially in this our time where there is so much meaninglessness. I'm reminded of what Dr. Ravi Zacharias would say...meaninglessness does not come from weary of pain, meaninglessness comes from being weary of pleasure. In this pleasure filled world, sometimes its hard to find time to just appreciate what we have, fresh air, hot sun, good home, friends who care, always there. Our health, we are the blessed generation someone said.
Again i see hinderances to the call of a man, when you are asked to do something thats out of the ordinary, to stand out, to be different. There are always forces that want to maintain the status quo, want things to be the way they used to be but where's the fun in that? Sure it would be nice to have people around you to support and help you along the way but there are some battles that you must fight alone, you know what you know, and you can't explain it, no one will understand yet you know its the right thing to do. Do you do it anyway and let God take care of the rest, make them realise, show them? Or do you give up and maintain the status quo, for peace sake? Be called names, feel pain and rejection, abandoned. I'm sure we at some point have felt this way but there is hope, if you keep pressing on. Keep pressing on the pressure thats pressing you.
I went to do my laundry the other day and met a friend, so we were just talking and this same thing came up, how do you handle tough times and pressure? Many times for me i'll just back up and throw my hands in the air and give up, but thats not the way its suppose to be. We are suppose to go through it, like those three hebrew boys who went through the fire, think they were not scared? I think they were terrified but they went anyway and in it God shows his glory. In the end its all about him.
Sometimes i can imagine when i'm going through a painful time and i just feel like giving up, and i come to him and say, i can't do this anymore, sometimes i feel like the whole of heaven is there telling me cheer up, its like this: I'm in the middle of the road, with a hard path before me and i've gone half the way and it seems like there's no end in sight, i feel like the cloud open and i see the majestic support of heaven, people i dont know but who seem familiar, cheering me on, you can do it oguchi they yell, come on! it won't be long now they cheer. I can imagine them side by side in the crowds stand clapping with such joy and hope in their eyes. We believe in you. With such encouragement it feels out of place to give up.
Here's one man who went against the odds, made a difference, changed the world, the crazy guy. He represents us. We are the crazy guys who do things because someone called G said so. This song was sang in church today and before they sang it, it was singing in my heart.
Thank You for the cross the mighty cross,
That you would save such as us
And everyday we're changed into your image more and more
Yes by the cross we've truely being transformed
We're so amazed and we give you praise
We're so amazed and we give you praise
For you have saved us at such a cost
We're so amazed and we give you praise
For the power of the cross.
I love this song. I love you Lord, thank You for the cross.
And about that dance, I have a funny dance of my own :) God bless you.
~shalom~
Friday, October 05, 2007
I want to be still
I got this from someone i don't even know yet.
I believe its from God, because it really describes what i'm going through, its truly the prayer of my heart and my prayer too for everyone having exams or facing the pressures of school. Be still and know that He is God.
~shalom~
Reminder: Be still and know that I am God
Lord, grant me a quiet heart
Before the examinations start;
Teach me to use my leisure hours,
To invigorate my powers.
My mind from daydreams liberate,
Give me the will to concentrate;
From all distractions set me free,
That in my studies I may be.
A student with a sole intent
To make my work a sacrament;
From my faint heart in love expel
All fears of failure that therein dwell.
And from my pillow drive away,
All dark forebodings of the day;
Help me in faith to rest so deep
That I may have untroubled sleep.
While notes and subjects I prepare,
May I not lose my zest for prayers;
And may I not forget to look
For daily guidance in thy Book
In quietness, confidence and peace,
May I have quick and sure release;
From needless fears and apprehension
From outward strain and inward tension.
And may I ever grateful be
To all who offer prayers for me
While for myself I intercede
For others too, I plead.
So my examinations find
Each one alert in heart and mind
Thus inward joy and peace possessing,
May examinations provide a source of blessing!
Before the examinations start;
Teach me to use my leisure hours,
To invigorate my powers.
My mind from daydreams liberate,
Give me the will to concentrate;
From all distractions set me free,
That in my studies I may be.
A student with a sole intent
To make my work a sacrament;
From my faint heart in love expel
All fears of failure that therein dwell.
And from my pillow drive away,
All dark forebodings of the day;
Help me in faith to rest so deep
That I may have untroubled sleep.
While notes and subjects I prepare,
May I not lose my zest for prayers;
And may I not forget to look
For daily guidance in thy Book
In quietness, confidence and peace,
May I have quick and sure release;
From needless fears and apprehension
From outward strain and inward tension.
And may I ever grateful be
To all who offer prayers for me
While for myself I intercede
For others too, I plead.
So my examinations find
Each one alert in heart and mind
Thus inward joy and peace possessing,
May examinations provide a source of blessing!
I believe its from God, because it really describes what i'm going through, its truly the prayer of my heart and my prayer too for everyone having exams or facing the pressures of school. Be still and know that He is God.
~shalom~
Monday, October 01, 2007
another birthday
Yes there was another birthday this time it Candace's birthday. So we celebrated for her too. She was very happy even though we didn't manage to make it a surprise party but she was happy lo.
I find it interesting how human relationships and connections occur. I got to know them {Candace and her gang} through Dominic, we usually take the shuttle bus at the same time on Tuesdays and have breakfast first. Well he has breakfast, i don't usually take my breakfast so i order a drink or something. And almost every Tuesday we'll meet up in the same table with these girls and just eat and chit chat until i have to go for my lab.
A few more pictures of the big day.
Snoopy
I like this shot
All gone
So many gifts
Now I know you must be thinking, how come we have so many parties ah? I also don't know but we do get to study too.
The pencil case is mine
I like this shot too.
Take care everyone.
~shalom~
Saturday, September 29, 2007
let it go
We were in a kind of seminar on relationships and love languages. VCF organised it and it ran for two Thursdays. During the course of the talk, a friend was kind of skeptical about the whole thing. Turns out he was in a relationship that turned sour. He was saying he gave his love to her, but she basically played him. So now he's made up his mind about girls based on this experience.
I was trying to tell him not all girls are like that but don't feel i got the message across. It got me thinking how things in our lives can change our outlook, and attitude. How a failed relationship can make someone made certain decisions that may not be the best or the most beneficial.
They say the first cut is the deepest and it must hurt to love someone so much and find out they don't feel the same way or are not as committed. The bible has practical ways of dealing with things like this. When Jesus was giving he sermon on the mount one of the hard things he said was love your neighbour as yourself. Bless those who curse you, do good to those who hurt you. Basically don't pay evil for evil. Its a high and lofty command but difficult to put into practice.
I remember when my little brother will get mad and pick a fight with me, usually he would hit me and run away and when i want to retaliate my mom would be like, don't you dare, he's just a kid. And i'm like what! no way he knows what he's doing. I didn't like that i should show restraint and let him go. I felt its not fair but the truth is he's a kid, and kids are stupid, they're dumb that usually makes me feel better to know that hey man, do whatever you want kid, cause i know better.
There is not point to hate, retaliation, it doesn't make us feel better. We were not designed as humans to take matters to our hands, we were designed to complain to God and let him handle things. There's no point in holding grudges or keeping unnecessary walls, because love conquers all. We should not let bad experiences change who we are suppose to be and rob someone else from being blessed by us. After all we are blessed to be a blessing.
~shalom~
I was trying to tell him not all girls are like that but don't feel i got the message across. It got me thinking how things in our lives can change our outlook, and attitude. How a failed relationship can make someone made certain decisions that may not be the best or the most beneficial.
They say the first cut is the deepest and it must hurt to love someone so much and find out they don't feel the same way or are not as committed. The bible has practical ways of dealing with things like this. When Jesus was giving he sermon on the mount one of the hard things he said was love your neighbour as yourself. Bless those who curse you, do good to those who hurt you. Basically don't pay evil for evil. Its a high and lofty command but difficult to put into practice.
I remember when my little brother will get mad and pick a fight with me, usually he would hit me and run away and when i want to retaliate my mom would be like, don't you dare, he's just a kid. And i'm like what! no way he knows what he's doing. I didn't like that i should show restraint and let him go. I felt its not fair but the truth is he's a kid, and kids are stupid, they're dumb that usually makes me feel better to know that hey man, do whatever you want kid, cause i know better.
There is not point to hate, retaliation, it doesn't make us feel better. We were not designed as humans to take matters to our hands, we were designed to complain to God and let him handle things. There's no point in holding grudges or keeping unnecessary walls, because love conquers all. We should not let bad experiences change who we are suppose to be and rob someone else from being blessed by us. After all we are blessed to be a blessing.
~shalom~
Thursday, September 27, 2007
bario
Where is Bario? Not sure, I only know they're famous for their rice, and its a highland area. Tried to search online but there is not much on the place. I only found a blog talking about it and the information doesn't seem to be updated. Well atleast they have an airport.
There's an opportunity for me and a few others to visit Bario, basically to transport musical equipment there, help the church there set up and teach them how to use it. I'm not teaching la, don't know so cannot teach. I've not decided if i would be joining them. The time is right since its right when we have the Raya holidays and its just for a few days only. But it would be nice to go and experience Bario rice.
Currently its an effort from my church, the other kids had to raise money by way of selling cookies and stuff. I also need some money lo so i've be asking my mom for permission to go. My dad is not in town at the moment. {Working so hard} Already got permission from pastor to go so by God's grace everything will go smoothly. Of course there will be lotsa pictures.
Where is Bario? Not sure, I only know they're famous for their rice, and its a highland area. Tried to search online but there is not much on the place. I only found a blog talking about it and the information doesn't seem to be updated. Well atleast they have an airport. There's an opportunity for me and a few others to visit Bario, basically to transport musical equipment there, help the church there set up and teach them how to use it. I'm not teaching la, don't know so cannot teach. I've not decided if i would be joining them. The time is right since its right when we have the Raya holidays and its just for a few days only. But it would be nice to go and experience Bario rice. Currently its an effort from my church, the other kids had to raise money by way of selling cookies and stuff. I also need some money lo so i've be asking my mom for permission to go. My dad is not in town at the moment. {Working so hard} Already got permission from pastor to go so by God's grace everything will go smoothly. Of course there will be lotsa pictures.
{update}
Thanks to jasmine for providing some information about Bario. (editted)
Bario is a highland where revival broke out in the 70s, and it has been a land richly blessed by God ever since. The weather there is cool and water for bathing is cooolllddd. It's about a 40 mins plane ride from Miri.
Population is small, about 2000. The churches are all up on the hilltops. When my dad was there they received VIP treatment. They had a group waiting for them at the airport, served them with bario delicious pineapple juice (mmmmm...).
Life there is very simply. They hunt for wild boars and make delicious food out of the wild plants in the jungle. Apart from the rice and pineapples, there is also a salt spring where you find salt. It's a miracle as well, you dont find salt by the spring. The salt is of highest quality, selling at RM15 per kg or per packet I think.Despite the small land, it's truly blessed by God. The Kelabits have produced very intelectual professionals. Their intercessors are very prophetic but they pray in Kelabit.
Thanks Jasmine.
~shalom~
There's an opportunity for me and a few others to visit Bario, basically to transport musical equipment there, help the church there set up and teach them how to use it. I'm not teaching la, don't know so cannot teach. I've not decided if i would be joining them. The time is right since its right when we have the Raya holidays and its just for a few days only. But it would be nice to go and experience Bario rice.
Currently its an effort from my church, the other kids had to raise money by way of selling cookies and stuff. I also need some money lo so i've be asking my mom for permission to go. My dad is not in town at the moment. {Working so hard} Already got permission from pastor to go so by God's grace everything will go smoothly. Of course there will be lotsa pictures.
Where is Bario? Not sure, I only know they're famous for their rice, and its a highland area. Tried to search online but there is not much on the place. I only found a blog talking about it and the information doesn't seem to be updated. Well atleast they have an airport. There's an opportunity for me and a few others to visit Bario, basically to transport musical equipment there, help the church there set up and teach them how to use it. I'm not teaching la, don't know so cannot teach. I've not decided if i would be joining them. The time is right since its right when we have the Raya holidays and its just for a few days only. But it would be nice to go and experience Bario rice. Currently its an effort from my church, the other kids had to raise money by way of selling cookies and stuff. I also need some money lo so i've be asking my mom for permission to go. My dad is not in town at the moment. {Working so hard} Already got permission from pastor to go so by God's grace everything will go smoothly. Of course there will be lotsa pictures.
{update}
Thanks to jasmine for providing some information about Bario. (editted)
Bario is a highland where revival broke out in the 70s, and it has been a land richly blessed by God ever since. The weather there is cool and water for bathing is cooolllddd. It's about a 40 mins plane ride from Miri.
Population is small, about 2000. The churches are all up on the hilltops. When my dad was there they received VIP treatment. They had a group waiting for them at the airport, served them with bario delicious pineapple juice (mmmmm...).
Life there is very simply. They hunt for wild boars and make delicious food out of the wild plants in the jungle. Apart from the rice and pineapples, there is also a salt spring where you find salt. It's a miracle as well, you dont find salt by the spring. The salt is of highest quality, selling at RM15 per kg or per packet I think.Despite the small land, it's truly blessed by God. The Kelabits have produced very intelectual professionals. Their intercessors are very prophetic but they pray in Kelabit.
Thanks Jasmine.
~shalom~
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
i want a mac
I mean don't we all want a mac? I know i do. I've been seriously considering the possibility of owning a mac, maybe replace my barely existing computer with a macbook. Why? Well a couple of reasons.
Macs are based on Unix. Unix is a very old operating system written in c. I'm doing a lot of c programming now so it would be easier for me to open a terminal and work straight with the vi editor or the upgraded vim editor.
But there are not many programs that run on a mac. True but there is the possibility of running windows on a mac on a separate partition so all the programs you want to run on windows can just run. There is also a VmWare solution where the windows installation can work on a virtual machine. Besides these there is a number of softwares being written for the mac.
Another thing i'm considering is the problem with viruses and spyware and all that rubbish. You simply don't get that on a mac its clean.
You've got to love macs for the visual effects and the customisable desktop.
However there are a few concerns. I watched steve jobs recent keynote on the new mac OS - leopard and it was really, really good. I'm thinking, why get a mac now and upgrade later when you can wait for leopard to come out and get it then. So this is another setback.
Macs are expensive. True, the macbook i have my eyes on costs about RM4199 but you can get a mac mini for less than 2k granted you need to buy your own keyboard, mouse and display. The new imac are a lot cheaper too except for the really big screen display models.
Hey linux is based on unix and its free why not get that instead. Ah linux, i installed ubuntu feisty fawn on my laptop and it was all good until i started to get problems with connection to the internet. I like linux, the fact that is freeware is enticing but its still not as user friendly. Of course linux would be the obvious solution since thats all we use in the labs maybe i'll give it another try.
The main problem still remains, i need new hardware, something with a dvd writer and better screens and graphics. Something that is stable and free from BSOD's something i would love to use for a long time coming. Do i really need a mac?
Oh btw heroes season 2 is out, not sure if people follow heroes anymore but thought you should know.
~shalom~
Monday, September 24, 2007
intricate webs
Today i was suppose to read for my test on Wednesday but i came across the book - weaving the web by internet pioneer Tim Berners-Lee and started to read. This is unusual activity for me, reading but the topic is one that i am fascinated in. I like the idea of the internet and this was more like an opportunity to learn and heed to my mom's advice in her email - study, study, study.
I won't go through all 14 chapters of the book only highlight some of the parts i find important. Tim was the son of two mathematicians. His parents were part of the team that built one of the first computers and from a young age he has been fascinated by the idea of links. You know like how your brain can transport you to a different time and link information together when you for example smell something. For me when i listen to in awe of you by hillsongs i'm immediately reminded of the time i used to borrow mike's cd player and play the song in my room over and over all night. That was way back in pleasant courts. What makes these memories possible are the cells in our brains that make the necessary connection, links.
He wanted to create something that would show this inherent relationship so he wrote a program called enquire that made links of documents and saved their relationships without using a database or a matrix. The links were both internal {within a document} and external {between documents}. For me the mere possibility of doing this is intriguing especially now that i'm learning about datastructures where we basically deal with different forms of sorting, storing, editing data in a way that is persistent. And the simplest form of storage would be an array but here i'm not sure what datastructure he used to achieve his feat.
The first web server he wrote ran on a NeXT machine. NeXT was the company Steve Jobs founded in 1985 when he resigned from Apple computers. The server name was info.cern.ch and was hosted in CERN {Conseil Européen pour la Recherche Nucléaire} which lies along the French-Swiss border.
The idea of unversality was key to the internet. The system should not constrain the user.
ZIP Ccodes And URIs
ZIP codes consists of a 5digit number. The first three numbers designate a certain a certain geographic region - a town, or part of a city or county. The next two define a very specific part of that region - say a few square blocks in a city. This gets the mail to the local post office and carriers from there use street name or box numbers to finish the routing.
For URIs or Universal Resource Identifiers AKA URLs the slashes part are used in a URI to separate its parts. The first few letters tell the browser which protocol to use to look the document whether HTTP {HyperText Transfer Protocol} or FTP {File Transfer Protocol}. So for example in the address http://www.friendster.com/ogucci, the www.friendster.com part indentifiers the computer server where these documents exist, ogucci is a specified document, in this case my profile page.
The big difference between URIs and postal addresses is that the last part of of the URI can mean whatever the server wants it to mean. The client {your browser} never tries to figure out what it mean, it just asks for it. From this there lies and obvious chaotic situation where all kinds of documents will be served to client machines so there was a need for a common formatting standard for web documents hence HTML.
The philosophy rule of HTML {HyperText Markup Language} was that HTML should convey the structure of a hypertext document {A document with links, both internal and external} but not details of its presentation.
He revealed that HTML source codes were not intended to be viewed by the user and the idea of asking people to write angle brackets
From his story i saw an uncomfortable relationship between getting something, especially a relatively new idea accepted in its true form as a very difficult undertaking. A lot of compromises have to be made along the way that dilutes the pure idea and lives it with barebones. This is perhaps the most frustrating thing about software engineering and inventions in general.
One quote that stuck me that i'm glad i know now is this one by Phil Gross. "Things can get picked up quickly on the internet, but they can get dropped quickly, too".
Here is one man who had an idea, that changed the world. One that stayed with him all through his undergraduate years and eventually led him to his present position on the board of advisers for the World Wide Web Consortium that oversees the general direction the web is taking. I'm also reminded of Joshua Schachter of del.icio.us who had loads of bookmarks and needed a way to manage them and access them from any computer anywhere in the world so he built a system that is today solving the problem of many people myself included with the ability to share and discover new sites and links. It just goes to show the pattern in inventions - necessity.
It was nice to see the origins of our intricately connected world, right from the first computers, through the birth of Java and the browser was of 1995/1996 and how new MarkUp languages have been introduced from the basic HTML which is still in use today.
I've not finished reading the book yet. I've only done 9 of the 12 chapters and i intend on finishing the book tonight hopefully. I'm not sure if this is the right place to talk about my tech stuff but i want to make this blog more than just a personal blog.
~shalom~
I won't go through all 14 chapters of the book only highlight some of the parts i find important. Tim was the son of two mathematicians. His parents were part of the team that built one of the first computers and from a young age he has been fascinated by the idea of links. You know like how your brain can transport you to a different time and link information together when you for example smell something. For me when i listen to in awe of you by hillsongs i'm immediately reminded of the time i used to borrow mike's cd player and play the song in my room over and over all night. That was way back in pleasant courts. What makes these memories possible are the cells in our brains that make the necessary connection, links.
He wanted to create something that would show this inherent relationship so he wrote a program called enquire that made links of documents and saved their relationships without using a database or a matrix. The links were both internal {within a document} and external {between documents}. For me the mere possibility of doing this is intriguing especially now that i'm learning about datastructures where we basically deal with different forms of sorting, storing, editing data in a way that is persistent. And the simplest form of storage would be an array but here i'm not sure what datastructure he used to achieve his feat.
The first web server he wrote ran on a NeXT machine. NeXT was the company Steve Jobs founded in 1985 when he resigned from Apple computers. The server name was info.cern.ch and was hosted in CERN {Conseil Européen pour la Recherche Nucléaire} which lies along the French-Swiss border.
The idea of unversality was key to the internet. The system should not constrain the user.
There was no central computer "controlling" the web, no single network on which
these protocols worked, not even an organisation anywhere that "ran" the web.
The web was not a physical "thing" that existed in a certain "place". It
was a "space" in which information could exist.
ZIP Ccodes And URIs
ZIP codes consists of a 5digit number. The first three numbers designate a certain a certain geographic region - a town, or part of a city or county. The next two define a very specific part of that region - say a few square blocks in a city. This gets the mail to the local post office and carriers from there use street name or box numbers to finish the routing.
For URIs or Universal Resource Identifiers AKA URLs the slashes part are used in a URI to separate its parts. The first few letters tell the browser which protocol to use to look the document whether HTTP {HyperText Transfer Protocol} or FTP {File Transfer Protocol}. So for example in the address http://www.friendster.com/ogucci, the www.friendster.com part indentifiers the computer server where these documents exist, ogucci is a specified document, in this case my profile page.
The big difference between URIs and postal addresses is that the last part of of the URI can mean whatever the server wants it to mean. The client {your browser} never tries to figure out what it mean, it just asks for it. From this there lies and obvious chaotic situation where all kinds of documents will be served to client machines so there was a need for a common formatting standard for web documents hence HTML.
The philosophy rule of HTML {HyperText Markup Language} was that HTML should convey the structure of a hypertext document {A document with links, both internal and external} but not details of its presentation.
He revealed that HTML source codes were not intended to be viewed by the user and the idea of asking people to write angle brackets
< b > for example was like asking someone to write a Microsoft word document in binary code format. His idea of a web browser was one that would both view and create internet content just as easy as it is to type a word document but few people shared this interest.From his story i saw an uncomfortable relationship between getting something, especially a relatively new idea accepted in its true form as a very difficult undertaking. A lot of compromises have to be made along the way that dilutes the pure idea and lives it with barebones. This is perhaps the most frustrating thing about software engineering and inventions in general.
One quote that stuck me that i'm glad i know now is this one by Phil Gross. "Things can get picked up quickly on the internet, but they can get dropped quickly, too".
Here is one man who had an idea, that changed the world. One that stayed with him all through his undergraduate years and eventually led him to his present position on the board of advisers for the World Wide Web Consortium that oversees the general direction the web is taking. I'm also reminded of Joshua Schachter of del.icio.us who had loads of bookmarks and needed a way to manage them and access them from any computer anywhere in the world so he built a system that is today solving the problem of many people myself included with the ability to share and discover new sites and links. It just goes to show the pattern in inventions - necessity.
It was nice to see the origins of our intricately connected world, right from the first computers, through the birth of Java and the browser was of 1995/1996 and how new MarkUp languages have been introduced from the basic HTML which is still in use today.
I've not finished reading the book yet. I've only done 9 of the 12 chapters and i intend on finishing the book tonight hopefully. I'm not sure if this is the right place to talk about my tech stuff but i want to make this blog more than just a personal blog.
~shalom~
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