This is the end

That's it.
It's over. 
This is the end.

2025 was a year of many things. 
I haven't had much time to be alone this year and reflect but from this moment, in the office, alone I'm grateful.

I'm grateful for my job.
It gives me some sense of purpose.
I work on hard people stuff all day and it weighs down on my soul but with each encounter, I feel something intangible growing on the inside. I'm learning patience more, empathy, love.

I'm grateful for my relationships.
Close friends, family, community members.
Family makes you grounded. Whatever you are to the world does not exist when you're with family, or when you are at church.
Being part of different online communities have helped me to stay connected with people and learn from them.

I'm grateful for opportunities.
You miss all the shots you don't take.

I took some opportunities this year with different levels of success but I'm grateful for that.
Past me would not even try. Current me will not only try but put my best foot forward.
Future me is badass.

Onward to 2026
Looking forward, my hopes and expectations are few intentionally.
I would like to practice focus. Do less but with more intensity and consistency.
I would like to be more open to others, talk to people and have more shared experiences with others.
I would like to earn more of course and to invest and build wealth.
I will continue to read and learn and write.

It has been a good year.

-ONWARD!

Soon

This song suddenly popped into my mind, this was the line that I remembered: with unveiled face I'll see him. When we beyond him, we are changed to be like him. The song is by Brooke Ligertwood. I love her.

Soon and very soon my King is coming

Robed in righteousness and crowned with love

When I see Him I shall be made like Him

Soon and very soon

Soon and very soon

I’ll be going to the place He has prepared for me

There my sin erased my shame forgotten

Soon and very soon

I will be with the One I love

With unveiled face I’ll see Him

There my soul will be satisfied

Soon and very soon

Soon and very soon see the procession

The angels and the elders 'round the throne

At His feet I’ll lay my crowns my worship

Soon and very soon

I will be with the One I love

With unveiled face I’ll see Him

There my soul will be satisfied

Soon and very soon

Though I have not seen Him

My heart knows Him well

Jesus Christ the Lamb

The Lord of heaven

I will be with the One I love

With unveiled face I’ll see Him

There my soul will be satisfied

Soon and very soon

-ONWARD!

A Prayer - Brighten my heart

This song captures my feelings so exactly. I have nothing more to add.

Brighten my heart by Sixpence none the richer.

Lyrics:

My heart is as dark as the soil, sodden with winter rains My soul is as heavy as the peat, freshly dug from the bog My thoughts swirl like willow branches caught in autumn winds My body is as tense as a cat's as it stalks its prey Help me open my heart to You Help me open my heart to You Help me open my heart to You, oh Jesus It's what I long to do, oh, to do, oh My heart is as dark as the soil, sodden with winter rains (Lord, brighten my heart) My soul is as heavy as the peat, freshly dug from the bog (Lord, lighten my soul) My thoughts swirl like willow branches caught in autumn winds (Lord, still my thoughts) My body is as tense as a cat's as it stalks its prey (Lord relax my body) Help me open my heart to You (Help me open my heart to You) Help me open…

-ONWARD!

Thankfull

I've been looking at some of the older posts here and a rush of nostalgia filled my heart.

I'm so thankful that some of my life is documented here. I'm glad that I wrote my thoughts on different things over the years. I can see so much growth, some changes and stuff.

I'm at the office here in Port Harcourt, it's raining. It's cold. I have my headphones on in one ear only, but nothing's playing. There are two women to my left and right and one more in front of me to the right. This is our office setup. The window is behind me.  There's another room to the right and next to that is the kitchen. It's a double storey building. I'm not sure why I shared that but there you have it.

I'm thankful for friends, for work, for opportunities, for writing, for every things I have, and for who I am. I'm constantly evolving and changing with new experiences and information. Each interaction with people and communities shifts and bends and blends the concoction that makes up this dude.

I'm thankful for family who are always supportive. I'm grateful to God for my siblings, nieces, in-laws, parents and other close friends who are also family.

Yeah, that's it for today.

-ONWARD!

Managing Expectations

You have heard it said, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
But I say, yes, do that but don't expect them to do unto you as your have done to them.

It took a while for me to get this.

People will not treat you the same way you treat them. They will treat you any way they darn well please, irrespective of what you do for them and to them.
It was difficult for me to accept this at first and I still struggle with it but I'm learning to accept that people will do whatever they want and there's nothing you can do to change that, really.

So find peace. 

Live your life according to your standards, not as a reflection of what others do or do not do.
Live up to your own standards and maintain it irrespective of what others do.

-ONWARD!

Gaining Clarity

I've been doing some introspection and I've discovered a few things.

I have a background in Computer Science and Engineering but more and more I don't find those things interesting. I still love software and tech but I don't enjoy working as a developer.

Here's what I actually enjoy.

I enjoy design and creative work.

I enjoy solving business problems with simple tools.
I enjoy reading and writing.

I've had trainings as a Virtual Assistant, Data Entry, Inventory Management, Copywriting, Email Marketing, Creative Writing and some other general business courses. While I can do all these jobs, I don't enjoy all of them equally.

My inability to choose a path forward is keeping me from making progress in my career and side hustle. Ideally what I want is a role where I can write, design and use software to help small businesses and founders. These are the things I actually enjoy doing and what to do more of.

-ONWARD!

You need more than the skill

You have the skill, you can do the work but no one is hiring you.
That's because those basic skills are not very useful. You need to do more than what you have learned in the course or video you watched.

For example, you learned how to manage email, calendar and schedules for clients and now you want to offer that as a service to busy executives and founders.
You will need to have a value-add in addition to the basic email and calendar management service you have learned because the client will ask for more than just this service. 

You will need to have a growth mindset and be willing to stretch yourself to accommodate new requirements from your client. If you insist on offering just the service you learned, you will find that there's no market for it. Yet that's what's advertised by tutors online.

Don't fall for it. 

Learn the skill, but add real world practice, it will help you uncover the 90% you didn't learn from your course. Also having a growth mindset will allow you learn new things in addition to the basic skill you have acquired.

-ONWARD!

There's always something more

You're interested in drawing, you love to draw. Nothing else exists once you're in front of your canvas. You can draw for hours, never get tired, forget to eat, time flies and you don't notice. It's your passion. You can't think of doing anything else in the whole wide world.

So you draw and study and improve and go to school and learn and get better and now you need to make money.

You can't think of anything else to do but to draw so you look for jobs where you can draw or you start putting your work out in the world on YouTube or Behance.

Once it's not longer a hobby, and becomes something that people pay you for, it changes.

You find out there are all these other things that you much do to support the thing you love that sometimes get in the way or drain all your time and energy and ends up keeping you from the thing you want to do which is to draw.

So you have to write a script for YouTube now, have a camera, have lighting, have fast internet, fight with your computer, edit the videos, look at analytics, do B-roll, create a content schedule, manage money and so on.

There's always something that comes with the work your want to do that you don't really care about but somehow have to do it.

The web developer wants to just code but now she has to sit in a meeting and endure endless back and forth of two people saying the same thing with different words and not realizing it. All she wants to do is code and ship great products. 

There's always something more.

If you think you'll just do the thing you love and nothing else. I'll break your heart now, it's not going to happen.

Factor in time and energy for all the other things you will have to do in addition to the thing you love.

When I come home from work, I'm usually exhausted but once I can create, I'm energized. I just want to create but I'm forced to deal with people all day.

There's always something more.

-ONWARD!

Friends

Friendship are harder when you're older.

I feel jealous of people who still have their primary school friends.

When you find a good friend, keep them.

-ONWARD!

Too much information

 At some point we lived in the information age. Right now I'm not sure what age we live in but what's sure is that we are drowning in information. Too much information.

For everything there are experts hailing it and other experts saying the opposite.

Then there are 'influencers' who amass large followings sharing their ideologies and let's face it profiteering from them.

How many people did Sir Isaac Newton listen to or read from? How many people would you say influenced him. I don't know but I can bet you it's not up to 10. Yet he achieved great things our generation can't even touch.

In a world of noise, we need to actively protect our mind, reduce the sources that have the power to influence us. Go deeper on small topics, values and vocations instead of having thin surface knowledge on all the things.

The death of quality

Quick thought on what I've noticed with these AI tools.

Generative AI tools like Gemini, ChatGPT and others have made 'creating' content trivial for anyone. As a result people have been leveraging these tools to make all kinds of content.

There's a new trend to string these tools and end up in a product that is sold or offered in sites like YouTube to get money from them.

The way they are used and presented leaves very little room for quality. Basically they ship whatever their AI tools barf to people.

The more I see this, the more sick I get.

As a creative person, I care about quality. I care about the human effort that went into a piece of work. That is actually what makes the work valuable to me. When there is little human work, then the work lacks spirit power. It's just an empty shell, just chaff, just junk.

The focus is simply money making, nothing more. It disgusts me.

I'm not against using AI in the creative process, I also use it but there has to be a human labour involved in the process. That's what make it valuable.

The things we experience

You can't miss what you have never experienced.

There are some negative experiences you never want to experience again. That one time is enough for your lifetime. You definitely don't miss those. Like a bad breakup or when you were robbed or an embarrassing moment in your life. 

But there are positive experiences you want to re-live. Like being at the beach at sunset with your friends, telling stories. Or that time you went on a food trip with your buddies or your first kiss.

I think some experiences are better not to be had in the first place so that you don't even have the memory of them. Like, I've never been pregnant so I don't know what that's like. No matter how you explain the experience, I will never understand it.

Having lived experiences helps us have empathy for those going through the same things we have gone through. It also brings us together. You have someone who understands you because they have also lived through the same or similar experience. You have something in common with them, and it unites you.

When you are young, they tell you to live you life to the fullest, experience as much of what life has to offer. Many people take that advice literally and go all the way to 11, throwing caution to the wind. This is a recipe for multiple regrets later in life. How many dreams have been dashed because of one negative experience?

By all means live you life, experience all the things but remember that all actions have consequences. Weigh the consequences before you take the action. Don't let the moment rule your entire life. Don't let friends influence you to make a seriously bad choice in life. Have guardrails while you explore the world.

Hopefully when you're 40, you won't have many regrets.

How does it really work?

I've been thinking about how people choose whom to be married to.
As a Christian I've heard all kinds of views and opinions, they're as diverse as the colors of a rainbow. I don't know what to believe anymore.

How do you know?
Someone said, you'll know.
I know but, how? 
Are you going to hear a voice saying, this is the one?
How exactly.

From the Bible we saw that God brought all kinds of things to Adam to see what he would call them. He named them but none was found fitting for him. Only when God made a woman from the man, and brought her to him that he saw her and called her woman. And she was the one fit for him.

Some people say, that's how it's going to be. God will bring people around you and ask you to choose.
Some say, oh you must hear from God. Don't just marry anyone you see without hearing from God otherwise you will marry a Leopard or a Lion. And you'd be sorry.

Can I like someone and make my decision?
Will God be mad at me if I say, I want this one?

Will God stop me from marrying the wrong person or will he just watch?

Apart from the account of Adam, there is no where else in the Bible where God brings a wife for a man. The closest I can find is with Rebekah. The servant of Abraham prayed and asked God to lead him to the house of his master and make his journey to be successful. He called on the God of his master and God answered him. There is no other way to explain how he met Rebekah except that God arranged their meeting.

So God can do that. And he still does that today.
I know of people who say God spoke to them that, this is you wife, this is your husband.
I absolutely believe that.

So how does it work?

Where I stand now is that, it's important to have your desires and present them to God and allow God work out the circumstances and situations that lead to you meeting and knowing who your spouse is.
Be open to hearing from God, in the way that God speaks to you. He will not use a special way to speak to you that how he always has been speaking to you.
Then get other people's view on your choice, weight them carefully before going ahead.
If everyone you love and trust is saying don't go ahead, seriously consider their advice. It's very rare that they will all be wrong and you're the only one that is right.

One last thing though, don't feel pressured by age or comparison. Don't let the news of other people's wedding unsettle you. Everyone has their time and their person. Finally, waiting on God for this matter may require copious measures of patience and persistence. If you really want to hear from him you will have to wait until he speaks. But when he speaks you can run with that word.

-ONWARD!

Why you're stuck

Here's the thing; if you're not pushing yourself beyond the boundaries of your abilities and beyond what you can do comfortably, you're not growing. If you stay there long enough you will begin to resent it.

The feeling of being stuck comes because you have reached a local maxima. I remember those words when I was learning Machine Learning in University. We had to learn about hill climbing algorithms, and stuff. It sounds interesting now but it was not back then.

When you reach a plateau in your life, it comes with the feeling of being stuck. Being stuck comes with feelings of resentment, confusion, anger and irritation with everything around you. You can't explain it, you desire more but can't reach it.

How do you get unstuck?

Widen your sphere.

Do something you have never done before.

Meet new people.

Try new things.

Keep an open mind.

Join new communities and engage with all your heart.

When you open your heart to new experiences, you will find that without changing anything else, your outlook in life improves. 

Try it.

Do it, even if you have to do it scared.

-ONWARD!

Just be free

Avoidance is procrastination.

It's better to face it than allow it to linger.

One thing introverts do is avoid uncomfortable situations. 

Uncomfortable conversations, uncomfortable phone calls, uncomfortable people.

When you combine that with a people-pleaser character trait then you're basically a ninja; hiding and dodging, lurking in the background hoping no one notices you. Maybe you're a shadow, not a ninja.

I've learned that it's better to face the awkward situation quickly, get it over with and move on. It will sting for a while but it's far better than having something ominous looking and lurking around because you don't want to deal with it.

Take a deep breath, be brave for 2 seconds, say the difficult words and be free.

-ONWARD!

Stand out

You are not weird.

You are not strange.

Stop trying to fit in.

Stop trying to be like everyone else.

Be you.

Your true you.

Your true authentic self is the exact thing that makes you special.

It's your differentiator.

Your uniqueness is your superpower.

Stand out, don't fall in.

Keep moving.

-ONWARD!

What I've discovered

The world has changed.

I've discovered that in this new economy, where there is an abundance of vendors and service providers in each niche, you need to find something that's unique about you to stand out.

What makes you stand out is not only your skill, ability to actually do the job but also how you are able to market yourself and your services.

The loudest, more convincing voice wins.

What unique life experiences, perspectives, quirks, can you combine together with your skills and services to sell to your audience?

That's how you make it in this new economy.

-ONWARD!

When somebody gets you

I think I'll just show up here and start typing and see where we go.

So I've been watching this youtuber recently and she makes these 3 minute videos where she talks about different things.

The more I listen to her the more I see a lot of myself in her story. I can relate to a lot of what she talks about and I can't wait to watch the next one.

I think introverts have really rich and interesting lives but they can't share the all of it with everyone because, people don't just understand or care about everything we care about. So we have to reveal the common, popular side that people can get. This means that a lot of our lives are locked up waiting for someone who gets it for it to be shared.

Anyway, I've been thinking about this youtube thing, whether to stick a camera in my face and start talking, kind of like what I do here but I can't __yet__ bring myself to doing it. 

-ONWARD!

Life update - September 15 2025

I should write more.

Life is busy. 
If you don't schedule something, remember to do it, actually do it, it never gets done.
The older I get the more I feel like I'm being pulled in all these directions.

Being multi-skilled and curious to try new things, and having a hard time saying no just exasperates the situation leading to the need to observe long periods of down time.
Life is busy.

More than just being busy, more and more I'm thinking about relevance, legacy, meaning.

What's the meaning of all this?
What do we get for all our toil on this celestial ball?
What's it all for?
I can't get excited anymore about a new phone, or car, or house, or [insert cool thing to be excited for here]. It just doesn't hold my heart or affection anymore. 
I long for me, for depth, for meaning.
I want meaning.

Wisdom is connected to time.

I was reading a book and these words just stuck with me; wisdom is connected to time.

It was Sit Stand Walk by Watchman Nee and he was talking about first fruits and other fruits.
They're all fruit but the first fruits are priced more because they come out first.
Those who bear first fruits are those who after they had heard the implanted word, immediately acted on it. They didn't wait, they didn't ponder, they just acted straightaway. Their prompt action is called wisdom. Those who did not act immediately are fools.

I've been thinking about all the books I've read, courses I've taken, opportunities I've had that just ended in me gathering more and more knowledge. Where's the action?
Take action Guchi. 
Take action quickly.
Early action is wisdom.

-ONWARD!