updates 291108

I just feel like making a post since i've been rather quiet lately. 

Exams are approaching and i don't feel it, don't feel like there's an urgency there's an almost indifference, scary!

Moving to a new house next sem, hopefully all goes well with the renovations and with my new housemates. I have a feeling its going to be one noisy house. 

This saturday I'll be attending a wedding at Grace Methodist Church pujut. I'll be among those singing. Picture this if you can, me singing jin jia jo, lia xin yah saw, jin jia ho... haha. Will be interesting hehe.

There's a possibility that i'll be spending the entire 3 months in miri. I'm not so sure what i'll be doing eventhough i have a few ideas to keep me busy. Anyone going to be in miri? Let me know so i won't feel all alone.

I feel like a lot of the people i've come to know are moving away, some finishing with school, others moving to other places. Almost makes me want to go away somewhere. I guess life's like that, people come and go and hopefully the time you spent together with them was worthwhile while you had it. I know i'm going to miss those leaving. Keep in touch guys.

Lately i've been thinking about the people of Israel and how they always follow God's laws for a season and then go their own way and cause God to send oppression to them so much that they cry to him again for deliverance and how he's always been there to deliver them time and time again and how that relates to our lives. Yeah there are seasons when i feel so close to him, and times when i dont feel like i'm doing anything that is good but looking at the God then and how even when he had not shown his humanity in the person of Jesus how he loved his people to deliver them from their mess when they called on him, gives me hope that he will always be there for me when i go my own way. 

I miss being in a family. Oh yeah, happy birthday manda :)

~shalom~

just for laughs

I can't get enough of this video la. Can watch it over and over and still break out into laughter.


~shalom~

praise+worship night

I don't watch a lot of veggie tales but the bit i've watched was really nice. There was this one they were talking about how lies starts small and harmless and then grows and grows because usually to cover the lie you have told you tell another one, and the more you do that you get better at it and so it gets so big that it gets out of control.

While i'm not going to talk about lies i'll like to share this song 'my day'. I like it a lot because its sung in the perspective of a child, going through his day and reflecting on the goodness of God all through his day.

I remember it today because there's a line that goes '...Sometimes I'm off key when I sing' I searched for the video on youtube but couldn't find it, anyway coming from the praise and worship night some people were clearly singing off key but they didn't mind, it was their own way to express the way they feel. Their way to worship and it doesn't matter how it sounds because God would still leave the angels in heaven with their perfect symphony to listen to us sing off key :) thats just the way He is I guess.

I really like the service, its true that our lives should be full of praises for the one we call our Lord for all He has done for us. For all He continues to do. Sometimes we look at the task at hand and they seem so big but God is bigger. I was reminded to delight in the Lord again, and worship. I felt like someone was telling me you dont worship like you used to and yeah.

My Day

In my bed I start to pray
And tell God all about my day
I woke up in my little bed
And put my hat upon my head

Cleaned my room
And cleared my dishes
Told mom breakfast was delicious

I went to school, learned something new
And tried to follow every rule
I studied my vocabulary
Had some fun with Bob and Larry

And so it's good to know (And so it's really good to know) 2nd time of chorus!
How much you love me…it's true
The bible says you do
You really love me
Your love was with me all throughout my day

I some how over looked my bed
Seems my dog is underfed
Forgot to change my underclothes
Watched one to many T.V. shows

I had some trouble sharing toys
And during rest time, made some noise
Walls are not for coloring
Sometimes I'm off key when I sing

And so it's good to know
How much you love me…it's true
The bible says you do
You really love me
Your love was with me all throughout my day

In my bed so quietly
I rest in knowing God Loves Me!

~shalom~

-no comment-

the rift,

within,

expressions that cannot be expressed,

not suppress, 

not repressed, 

not me, 

not just me.

the reflection, 

the projection,

the construction and re-construction,

the toil, 

the joy,

the end? 

the beginning,

the decision.

what do you want?

where are you going?

what are you doing to get there?

what makes you?

what's more important?

look ahead, 

leave it all behind,

there's nothing you can do to change it,

its done. DONE.

let it go.

Sometimes i talk to myself. Its not weird, i bet you do it too.

Into Your hands, i commit again, everything i am, and will be. I know i can't do anything without You. Take away my shame, my reproach, and lead me to a more excellent future. Let Your word be my certainty, let my faith in You be unshaken through the storms, through all these times. Don't let worry cripple me, don't let me slip away. Let Your word renew and freshen me, give me new hope in a hopeless world, where all the towers of men crumble and fall, when there's frantic panic let me to calm, still knowing that in You i have everything i need. For You have given me everything i need for life and godliness. Remind me of Your unfailing love, let my hope be in You alone. Bring me back when i stray and go my way. Guide me to the paths of wisdom, and understanding so i can make the most use of my time. Let me have cause to glorify You in the end. Arigato o-tou san.

~shalom~

what is wisdom

I was going through the apple website and bumped into this video on their pro page. I've watched it three times and i like it. Its part of a larger project called wisdombook by Andrew Zuckerman. Listen, learn and have a blessed weekend :)

In the words of Solomon the great king, "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom..."

~shalom~

jogathon

This morning i woke up early to join the jogathon in campus. I thought it was a good thing to do since i get almost no exercise so why not? My preference is 100m, i think i'm fast and prefer shorter races to long distance races because i don't have the stamina to sustain myself. And i used to have breathing problems but thank God i don't have them anymore.

This is my first time running so far, we ran from campus to curtin village and back. The route was longer initially but the organisers decided to cut it short. I was a bit sad la when i heard it was just to village and back but ran anyway.

How Was It?

It was a very tiring run, both physically and mentally. I didn't know curtin village was so far, and i'm glad we didn't run with the initial route. I don't think i could finish.

Before the race i was very anxious, everytime i think about the race, my heart will beat faster and i have no idea why, i think it was scared but coming this morning, in my mind i was measuring everyone and thinking hmm, maybe i can be top 5. I was starting to be proud.

The race started and a few people started fast, i paced myself and tried to breathe rhythmically and consistently. I started slow not wanting to use too much energy since i didn't eat anything just drank milo in school before the race. 

Coming out of curtin, i started to feel the strain of the race, i started to doubt if i can finish. I could see those in front, they were too far ahead. I wanted to stop. But told myself, i came here to finish. My aim is not to win, i came here to finish. And it was hard to keep my head clear of many thoughts, so along with my breathing i would say silently finish, finish...

Did You Win?

Yes and No. No because i didn't come first, or second or third. And No i was not last. I came 7th. And Yes because i accomplished my aim, to finish. I thought to myself after a while, for someone who has not run before you didnt do too bad. Its not being proud  but the bible says David encouraged himself in the Lord. My mom told me once, that if you don't say i am, no one will say thou art. So yeah even though i had no hamper, i finished and that was my aim.

What Did You Learn?

I learned a few things, for one, even though i am strong, i am young, i have strength but my strength is given to me by God. And i am given the responsibility and priviledge to manage it and use it in the way that will honour him. 

Secondly i learned again to be humble. I was wrong to size people up in my mind and say sure can win that one. But instead to think lowly of myself and trust in God.

I also learned that we can do pretty much anything we set our hearts to do. Nothing is impossible. But we cannot do it in our own strength, Ultimately you will need God because in your own strength you can only go so far it is he who gives the staying power, the stamina to remain and not give up.

I talked about keeping my head clear, i think its important to remain focused and clear headed in a race, you cannot think about too many thing but control the things you can and leave the rest. 

I also think its important in a race to be prepared. And to set your mindset straight. Plan your work and work your plan. Because a lot a distractions will come, there will be times you will look at others and see how they  are so far ahead, and become discouraged but just as the bible asked us to run the race. Its interesting that it says to run and finish. Some people were disqualified along the way and they didn't get anything. But for those who finished they can look back at the God who led them through and give him praise.

On the way back i hit my heart and said to it, thank you, you did well, God bless. I hit my legs and said thank you legs, you did well, God bless. And hit my head and said you can do better, next time. The race is as much within as it is without. 

Run the race and FINISH.

~shalom~

vcf 9th anniversary

I think its nice to take some time and thank God for everything thats happened. I first want to thank God for Amanda for organising everyone and getting most of the stuff done. And Cheryl, Olly {happy birthday}, Ching Shen, Edric, Chipmunk, and everyone else i didnt mention. I know some had to put their personal work on hold just to make it. People i've not seen in a while like wee chuan. And those who had assignments but still came. 

Thank God for Oja for doing the video, i thought it was really good considering that the time and resources were short. I believe when you honor God He will honor you and nothing we do for God is a waste. I also want to thank miss Hannah for her help and ideas on what to present.

I'm really learning not to complain but to give thanks for everything. I want to apologise for the way things went. I know it could have been a lot smoother, a lot more glorifying to God and next time i think we'll do better. 

God bless you all for your effort. In the words of paul, be careful for nothing but in everything through prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God that transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Puji Tuhan.

~shalom~

who do you trust

I read this just now and i'm going to paste it here. Sorry about the English.

Reader, this is an important question. Listen to the Christian’s answer, and see if it is yours. “On whom dost thou trust?” “I trust,” says the Christian, “in a triune God. I trust the Father, believing that he has chosen me from before the foundations of the world; I trust him to provide for me in providence, to teach me, to guide me, to correct me if need be, and to bring me home to his own house where the many mansions are. I trust the Son. Very God of very God is he—the man Christ Jesus. I trust in him to take away all my sins by his own sacrifice, and to adorn me with his perfect righteousness. I trust him to be my Intercessor, to present my prayers and desires before his Father’s throne, and I trust him to be my Advocate at the last great day, to plead my cause, and to justify me. I trust him for what he is, for what he has done, and for what he has promised yet to do. And I trust the Holy Spirit—he has begun to save me from my inbred sins; I trust him to drive them all out; I trust him to curb my temper, to subdue my will, to enlighten my understanding, to check my passions, to comfort my despondency, to help my weakness, to illuminate my darkness; I trust him to dwell in me as my life, to reign in me as my King, to sanctify me wholly, spirit, soul, and body, and then to take me up to dwell with the saints in light forever.”

Oh, blessed trust! To trust him whose power will never be exhausted, whose love will never wane, whose kindness will never change, whose faithfulness will never fail, whose wisdom will never be nonplussed, and whose perfect goodness can never know a diminution! Happy art thou, reader, if this trust is thine! So trusting, thou shalt enjoy sweet peace now, and glory hereafter, and the foundation of thy trust shall never be removed.

Source: ccel.org

~shalom~

learning from phil 2

I was really encouraged going through philippians 2 with jim and hannah. Even though its was just the three of us, we had a good time, a lot of laughs.

I'm reminded again what it means to be humble. It means to be like Jesus, He gave his life up for us so that we can be free, and receive the redemption that can only come through his death on the cross. As someone said for Jesus to come and live like a human was like for a human to become an earthworm. Although not an accurate equivalent, it gives us an idea of how low he had to come all because of him love.

Paul encouraged the people to live in unity, having one heart, one purpose. And its interesting that unity comes when there is humility. When no one seeks his own but regards the other higher than himself. This is not to say we lose our self worth. We are all bought with a price and are a priced Jewel in the hands of the maker. But really for unity to exist, someone has to play the fool and look stupid so that peace can win over. Bible says by this shall men know that you are my disciples, when you have love for one another.

It was interesting that we had covered this topic because just before the meeting we were discussing about how to increase the participation of the members and commitment and there all the answers we were looking for was there, in the text for the day.

Perhaps the most challenging thing paul encourages his brothers and sisters in Philippians 2 is not to complain or argue about anything thats right, he said ANYTHING. This he put in another way when he said be careful for nothing but in everything through prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God and the peace of God that transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Its easy to just say oh, i won't worry about anything because the bible says so and become indifferent and lazy. Thats not the purpose. I think it means that don't let things trouble you until you lose your peace instead commit your worries and anxieties to God and trust him to take care of them for you. Afterall he says cast your cares on me and i will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you for my yoke is easy and my burden is light. So the next time you see me complain, remind me.

Its interesting that this comes up because something happened during the week that bothered me a bit. When people say things about you that you're not sure if its true or not because you need to ask God to be sure that its not true, it can be a bit confusing because you think you know yourself and then someone says something that give an impression of you that even you cannot recognise. I'm trying not to reveal too much but yeah. There are somethings that are outright false and there are others that needs to be checked on.

People of course are not perfect and say things out of their insecurity or false judgement and perceptions of what they think they know about you but in the end its between you and God and that person. All i can say is that its not the first time and thank God the last time was a case as mentioned however time will tell if this time its really true or not.

I won't let it bother me because i dont fight my own battles, never have. My name mean God's battle. And the verse in the bible that goes well with it is Exodus 14:14 and the Lord will fight for you and you will hold your peace. And speaking of peace, Psalm 119:165 says great peace have they who love thy law and nothing shall offend them. With man this is impossible but with God all things are possible.

I'm trying Lord to love your law, I know sometimes i just have to hurry off but I know that I will come to that place of exclusive devotion to your words. I trust You.

~shalom~

collections: homosexuality

I came across a very interesting article today and would like to share it here with you.

...the corruption of language has contributed to this confusion. When words like love, friend, male, female, and partner are transformed in a new sexual context, what was once understood to be pure and undefiled is now subject to sniggering and disrespect. (more)

Tim Challies writes a lot about life issues and living as christians and i love to read his blog.
~shalom~

Gone

In life there are many things that come our way and for a time they cause us so much joy and pleasure but nothing in this life is permanent. Someday they will be gone. Here's switchfoot gone.

Gone - Switchfoot - Beautiful Letdown

She told him she’d rather fix her makeup
Than try to fix what’s going on
But the problem keeps on calling
Even with the cellphone gone
She told him that she believes in living
Bigger than she’s living now
But her world keeps spinning backwards
And upsidedown
Don’t say so long in the cellphone
Don’t spend today away
Cuz today will soon be

Gone, like yesterday is gone,
Like history is
Gone, just trying to prove me wrong
And pretend like your immortal

She said he said live like no tomorrow
Every day we borrow
Brings us one step closer to the edge (infinity)
Where your treasure, where’s your hope
Forget the world and lose your soul
She pretends like she pretends like she’s immortal
Don’t say so long
Your not that far gone
This could be your big chance to makeup
Today till soon be

Gone, like yeterday is gone,
Like history is gone,
The world keeps spinning on,
Your going going gone,
Like sumemr break is gone,
Like saturday is gone
Just trying to prove me wrong
You pretend like your immortal your immortal

We are not infinite
We are not permanate
Nothing is immediate
We’re so confident
In our accomplishments
Look at how dark it is

Gone, like frank sinatra
Like elvis and his mom
Like al pichino’s cash nothing lasts in this life
My highschool dreams are gone
My childhood sweets are gone
Life is a day that doesn’t last for long

Life is more than money
Time was never money
Time was never cash,
Life is still more than girls
Life is more than hundred dollar bills
And oh the town fills
Life more than fame and rock and roll and thrills
All the riches of the kings
And up in wills we got information in the information age
But do we know what life is
Outside of our conveinent lexus cages

She said he said live like no tomorrow
Every moment that we borrow
Brings us closer to the God who’s not short of cash
Hey bono I’m glad you asked
Life is still worth living, life is still worth living

Its ok la my friend, God has the best for you. Just keep seeking Him. I'm always here.

~shalom~

Tweaks

I have an insatiable desire to change things, to see how they look if this was changed, or this value changed, or something here put there. As a kid growing up, i guess thats why i broke a lot of my toys because i would always get a screw driver and open it up to see how the insides look like and then after putting it back again it was never the same.

I spend a lot of time online, mostly looking at websites and reading articles on webdesign, just look at my delicious tags for webdesign and you'll see what i mean. If you notice i've made a few subtle changes to the way things look over here. I'll let you guess the rest but one of the things i changed is the blockquote class that defines the behaviour of the blockquote tag. This post describes how to style your own blockquote.

This is a blockquote
I sort of like the way tumblr displays quotes so i looked into the css file and customised it for this blog. Now quotes will be italicized and will have a font of 25px. It was originally 32px but i thought it was too big for my liking. The color also changed. Initially the font was Helvetica but it didn't look nice so i changed it to Georgia, consistent with the rest of the site.

One of the things i want to do with my 3months break is try and make a few more tweaks to this site and explore working with grids and playing around with a bit of photoshop and hopefully come up with a new look for the new year :)

I realise i've used a lot of I's in this post and want to apologise for using one more.

I noticed the music on the blog as nice as it is can be kind of annoying sometimes to some users so i'm going to change it so it doesn't autostart. Went into the code but can't seem to know what value to change to alter its behaviour but will look into it.

~shalom~