merdeka! (yay!)

On this the 50th independence celebration of Malaysia we went to the beach. Calvary had a baptismal service and there was pork to eat along with other food they made me, yeah thats right they made me try. Cannot say no one. All the aunties and uncles ah. Try this, try that one... But it was good la.


I discovered i'm fascinated by cloud formations. They're so beautiful with lots of patterns. So if you see me staring at the sky with a grin you know why.


By the beach, so many people came out to have picnics and enjoy the day off work


the beach. Didn't get a chance to play in the water but who needs water when you have bbq pork?


another view of the beach


playing with a rugby ball. I would have called it football if this was american and it wouldn't sound awkward but this is not american and it sounds awkward to call it football.

Later in the evening we went out for a simple meal near DPS. I ordered beef noodles with soup and the lady brought fork and spoon for me and for some reason i just felt wrong. I didn't feel comfortable using them anymore so i asked for chopsticks.


Not what you think. Its actually chinese tea in a deceptive cup.


close up shot of my plate


The mee was very good.

I know you love me
With regard to my previous post, i'm sorry with i caused a stir or scared anyone. I am ok just that sometimes things happen and emotions get the better of me.

I just want to say prayer works. It so freaking works. And don't underestimate the power of kindness to turn seemingly dire situations around. God is pure good. And He cares more than we ever can. 

I really thank God for friends who I can share things with and I really thank God for the family of believers that we have. Sometimes we can take that for granted.

I really like this song by superchick, We live.

We live by superchic[k]
There's a cross on the side of the road
Where a mother lost a son
How could she know that the morning he left
Would be their last time she'd trade with him for a little more time
So she could say she loved him one last time
And hold him tight
But with life we never know
When we're coming up to the end of the road
So what do we do then
With tragedy around the bend?

We live we love
We forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love

We live we love
We forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love

There's a man who waits for the tests
To see if the cancer has spread yet
And now he asks, "So why did I wait to live till it was time to die?"
If I could have the time back how I'd live
Life is such a gift
So how does the story end?
Well this is your story and it all depends
So don't let it become true
Get out and do what we were meant to do

We live we love
We forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love

We live we love
We forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love

Waking up to another dark morning
People are mourning
The weather in life outside is storming
But what would it take for the clouds to break
For us to realize each day is a gift somehow, someway?
So get our heads up out of the darkness
And spark this new mindset and start to live life cuz it ain't gone yet
And tragedy is a reminder to take off the blinders
And wake up and live the life we're supposed to take up
Moving forward with all our heads up cuz life is worth living

We live we love
We forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love

~shalom~

i know you love me

I feel a need to express myself freely but I really can't so its hard to go about living a 'normal life' because things have changed and i feel weird. Argggggggggggggggghhh.

I want to rest in your arms Lord, take away this heaviness, give me true joy again. But i resign to let your will be done. I know you love me :) I know you love me.

In a way i like the burden, I like that it draws me closer to you. I like that it liberates me to experience more meaningful relationships, friends, brothers, sisters. I like that i have this burden, in a way. I like that i get to feel your heart, even for a while.

At the cross - Hillsong United - Mighty to save 

Oh Lord You've searched me

You know my way

Even when I fail You

I know You love me

Your holy presence

Surrounding me

In every season

I know You love me

I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee

Where Your blood was shed for me

There no greater love than this

You have overcome the grave

Your glory fills the highest place

What can separate me now

You go before me

You shield my way

Your hand upholds me

I know You love me

You tore the veil

You made a way

When You said that it is done

And when the earth fades

Falls from my eyes

And You stand before me

I know You love me

I know You love me

~shalom~

thank you Father

Got back from the VCF camp last night {sunday night}. The camp was great, lots of fun but the main reason why we went was not lost in all the fun. I must say, atleast for me the highlight of the camp was the talentshow.

We were all divided into groups according to certain bible characters. I was in Noah and we were asked to present some kind of drama or song well naturally we decided a drama was the way to go. I have videos but i'm having trouble uploading them but besides our group i think the drama by Moses was very good. Every team was very creative in the way they presented these bible stories and it made for a really fun time.

thank you Father
For some reason yesterday{monday morning} when i got up to pray i could not help but just say thank You Father for everything. Sometimes i feel this way. I was singing one of my favourite songs by i think its Paul Baloche - offering. There's a line that goes...

I bring an offering of worship to my king
no one on earth deserves the praises that i bring
Jesus may you receive the honor that you're due
Oh Lord I bring an offering to you.

And for some reason those words just hit me real strong, i was thinking here i am in the midst of people who love the Lord, and i was thinking of those people who shared the word of God to me, and how it must have been a struggle sometimes for them because i also go through struggles when it comes to sharing my faith. And how it must have been a sacrifice for them but God used them anyway. And those people who must have been praying for me to be saved, called out God's mercy on this naughty little boy. And here i am... Alvin Slaughter in his song run to you says ...surprised to be loved. The emotions just overwhelmed me, and with tears i just thank God for everything, everything i get to enjoy, every trip, camp, every experience. I like to say God is pure good. :)

Recent event have got me worried, yesterday i got some bad news but i know in all things God works it out for the good of them who love him and as i was just going through some word to help me through this one thing that kept appearing is the love of God especially in Romans 8:35 nothing can s-e-p-a-r-a-t-e us from the love of God, nothing. And that became some kind of help to me. Only a few people understand what i'm talking about and i'll like to keep it that way but all i can say is pray for your friends. God can do anything.

pictures time

first thing i saw in the toilet was this little bugger.


signpost


Noah


Jeremy, Kelly, and someone


Remember i said we had games? This was one of them. We came first in these games


LOok at all the food we had to eat


Li ai and there he is again!


We had to cross this river to get to the other side where the cave is.


my first time on a boat. Look how scared ooja was.


the other end of the boat.


we took the wrong turn at some point in the journey but this sign was reassuring


even though it was raining, they kept singing all the way


that explains alot


after walking for hours we came here and the path was under construction


they were selling drinks and some crafts.

The camp committee decided it was not safe to go through the path under construction so we did a fun thing; walk back.


this is an alternative path but its longer and they say mud can get up to your knees. We passed.


we got back and guess what we did.


eating


my room


they spelt my name wrong, where got L?


my roomies


look at all the cool people with cool t-shirts. At this point we were getting ready to leave.


no we didn't have the camp in the bush, we just had to stop.

I can't possibly post all the pictures i took here. Well actually i could but it would get very long but you can look at some more over at my flickr page. Or to get another perspective of the camp try this one.

I really thank God for my phone, it made the camp more fun, and i could share with y'all.

~shalom~

batu niah camp

I'm going away on a camp tomorrow for the weekend. We'll be going to niah cave, my first cave experience in miri and in malaysia.

I dont really like caves, they're cold and they have bats and insects and other creepy things. But i hope we won't be spending alot of time in the cave. I really look forward to having fun and fellowship with people.

So thats about it, will update with pictures when i get back.

~shalom~

free2be amplified

Wah what a week. For three nights Miri has been on fire. Chris long was in town with his family for a youth rally at the Miri indoor stadium: free2be Amplified.

Its actually organised by the scripture union but involved alot of the churches around miri, kind of like what happens for nights of fire in Kuching.

I thank God for the opportunity to be a part of the meeting. Was able to go for all three nights and for the most part i was right in front of the crowd just to make sure they stayed organised and for the most part they were except for a few naughty ones who were too excited.

The first night saw over a 100 first time decisions for christ with close to 2000 young people in attendance. It was just amazing.







No price for guessing what song is playing at this time. We had alot of fun :)

~shalom~

changes

I feel like it is time to talk. Suddenly I don't know how to start.

I believe everything that happens to happens for a reason, and through it all God's plans and purposes are being fulfilled one way or the other. And even though it hurts, His ways are always better than ours and He's way smarter than me, than us.

Can We Be Friends?

2yrs and a few months of life changing experiences with someone very special, very unique in more ways than one ended with a few tears and alot of thinking. I want to say outright there are things in me that God has revealed to me through this that I wouldn't have taken seriously before.

I want to thank her for sharing her life with me, being very bold to love someone like me, its not easy at all but she did her best for that i'm everly grateful to God but now I'm thanking God for friends. 

How Are You Now?

Many of you will be asking. Well besides a lingering cough i'm very good. Gone past the point of hoping things to change and get back to the way it used to be. I think if God wants He can do anything but for me, I want to be confident, and satisfied with who I am and where I'm heading no matter what happens.

The Obvious

Did i make a mistake? Yeah! Did we make a mistake for two years, was the relationship a mistake? I dont believe so. Though if i had to do it all over again there are obvious things i would like to change. But this was my shot at it and just to clear anything, i'm not searching, kind of liking just hanging out with friends :)

~shalom~

test-imony

I have an interesting week ahead. This weekend pastor chris long will be in Miri at the indoor stadium for a weekend event called Amplified 2007. Since i'm part of VCF and the president of VCF is part of EYM of SIB Canada Hill; joanna's church we're part of the Ushers. But unfortunately I can only go for one day because I'll be leaving for Kuching and eventually for Muar for the youth conference.

Leaving on Saturday for the week long event means i'll miss one whole week of lectures. This is something i forsaw but my justification was this: if i don't start with God here then what am I here for? It seemed so easy to say but right now i'm getting to realise the full meaning of those words.

I'll be missing class, a no-no for Curtin. Things happen very fast here and you cannot be caught slacking. I'll also be missing the Amplified concert but i'm not too worried about that one.

I'm not sure who said this but i remember someone said all faith will be tested and i feel this is mine, but i've prayed about it and i feel its the right thing to do.

The past few weeks God has been challenging me to do something out of the ordinary, something that i will look back on and think, thats just not me. I'm reminded of some of the decisions I made in the beginning of this year, one of them is to take chances and be daring and somehow i've forgotten about it but i feel i'm being reminded of this each time i go to church or read some of the books i have.

I've also been made to see some aspects of my life and attitude I need to change and work on. Yesterday the pastor said alot of things that encouraged me but the one that stood out atleast for me is that we must be willing to let God's word change our lives. He must have full access to the darkest grimmest parts of our lives we're not proud of but thats there regardless. And thats something i've not been actively doing.

Finally i bought a book. For me this is a miracle because i remember the time when my mom would force me to read books. Now I don't need her to tell me anymore. I buy books I'm not sure i'll read anytime soon and its ok because i read in a book this statement: "buy books even though you dont read them" and in fact i saw that same book in the bookstore where i bought this book. Aaaaaaaanyway, I want to leave with this thought, and its not just a thought its the truth. Nothing can separate us from the love of God. He's actively fighting on our behalf even when we dont notice. And sometimes we go through storms and hard times but its encouraging to know that we're not alone. He's the good sheperd and we're not alone in the storms.

There's no testimony without a test.

~shalom~

flu hu again

Seriously i dont like being down with flu. Its so weakening, you can't get anything done. This is the second time this year i'm having flu {first time}. Maybe its because of the aircon. From school, bus, and home its always blowing. To make things worse my bed is right below the darn thing.

My roommate first became sick now its my turn. Guess i need to boost my immune system. I just thank God for my friends who gave me medicine since i never keep any medicine around. And for Samson for giving me vitamins.

I wanted to post some pictures but my internet connection is really bad at the moment so maybe next time.

~shalom~

better is one day

Sometimes when i think about my life and how it would have turned out if i never found Jesus I suddenly have alot to be thankful for. I think sometimes we take that we are secure in him for granted. Being a christian is not just following a cool guy who stunned the world when he was on earth and being weak, turning the other cheek, being called a freak or looked down on, being unpopular and i heard someone say outdated. Its more than that.

Today just going to church i feel refreshed. Yesterday just joining the El shaddai Youth Ministry of Sib Canada hill, i feel refreshed. Its been i while since i jumped in service :P missed that.

Where am I going with this? Well we feel hurt sometimes, we make mistakes, we hurt others and make choice that may alter who we are, our futures, our lives and the direction it takes. We lose people and friends especially those that have been at some times very close and you wonder why, is it really worth it? How do I carry on, "where would i be without you..." hehe.

One thing that will never change through all the hardships and trials and temptations, self-inflicted or divinely arranged is the love of God. Today i was reminded of Hebrews 12:5 I almost cried, actually i cried in my heart la. As long as you have the mindset that trials and temptations are there to equip you and give you an opportunity to grow you can take courage and face them. We are not called to run away and surrender to pressure but to press on despite the pressure. Knowing that the Lord will not try you beyond your capacity to endure but we already have victory and he's always good.

GOD IS PURE GOOD FOREVER.

A quote that has stayed with me for a while now is this the root of all sin is in the suspicion that God is not good. I find it to be true. So hang in there, this is for me too.

~shalom~

letting go

I know someone who just love these precious memories thing :) Picture taken from a store near where i live.


Suppose to be studying wo. I like mashimaro btw.


the students' life.

The past week has been quite smooth. I'm trying to adjust to miri and one thing i've been doing since this month is take record of how much i spend daily and on average i spend close to 10 bucks a day on food alone. Scary!

One good thing with miri is that transportation is cheap and much better than Kuching. A bus ride to town is just 2.40 one way. Hehe, its not like rapid kl unfortunately.

Generally miri is a small town, nothing much to do here except for those who go clubbing, so they have a place to hang out at odd hours. The shops generally close quite early about 9:30 the streets are empty. And i know they say miri is hot but i've not really felt it because i go from class to bus to house all under the chill of air conditioning so much that i bought a jacket. Good thing it was on sale and only cost me 25bucks.

Given the present state of my life, i find this song very encouraging.

Cry Out To Jesus - Third Day (2005)

To everyone who's lost someone they love
long before it was their time.
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye.

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
keepin' you back from your life.
You believe that there's nothing
and there is no one who can make it right.

There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary,
and love for the broken hearts.
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are.

Cry out to Jesus. Cry out to Jesus.

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
They lost all of their faith in love.
and they've done all they can to make it right again
still it's not enough.

For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
you try to give up but you come back again.
Just remember that you're not alone
in your shame and your suffering.

There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary,
and love for the broken hearts.
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are.

Cry out to Jesus.

When you're lonely and it feels like the whole world is falling on you
you just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus

Cry to Jesus.

To the widow who suffers from being alone,
wipin' the tears from her eyes.
For the children around the world without a home,
say a prayer tonight.

There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary,
and love for the broken hearts.
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
that meets you wherever you are.
There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary,
and love for the broken hearts.
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
that meets you wherever you are.

Cry out to Jesus. Cry out to Jesus.

Cry out to Jesus. Cry out to Jesus.

Lyrics source: sing365
Father i really want to let go and move on but its hard for me. I need you, i need your strength.

~shalom~

Testimonies for the month: July '07

Testimonies for the month is my way to look back on the month and thank God for all his faithfulness in my life. I got the idea last Sunday from the Pastor at Calvary and decided it was a good way to stay thankful for everything thats been happening.

I'll just state them as they come, its not in chronological order or anything so here we go.

I will like to thank God for my acceptance offer at Curtin. I applied to the University of Nottingham and they rejected my application. I want to thank God especially for allowing me do something i've always wanted to do and to do it in a place where I get the chance to be pushed and develop skills for life.

I want to thank God also for my parents for their understanding in allowing me pursue this course. And also of course for their financial support for me al these while.

I want to also thank God for the successful burial of my Grandfather last weekend. For the strength and resources He gave to my mother to plan, organise and implement everything especially as my father was away for a job.

I want to thank God that despite everything that has been said and done that His word is still true and He has shown himself faithful in the eyes of those who do no put their trust in him. I still believe that one day the hearts that have been hostile to him will bow in surrender to Him.

I also like to thank God for his grace and his help with the renewal of my passport. For me its not just a trivial thing. Even for the help of friends, brothers and sisters when i needed their support. I thank God especially for the family of believers i have been a part of. It doesn't matter where I go he's prepared people who love him to stand alongside me and help me along my way. In a related matter, i want to thank God for his help getting a place to stay in KL and for his provision in terms of transportation and his protection while i was there. Usually my mindset is that i'll get mogged or something but it didn't happen. Praise God.

I thank God for the opportunity to serve in curtin with the Varsity Christian Fellowship (VCF). I really need fellowship in this school where things are very liberal. Thank God for Kimberly, Joanna and her mom for housing me for the night when i arrived here. Taking me in in such warmth and love. May God bless them indeed. Also for Gia and Rachel and Diane for their help :) Thank God for people like Samson who's also from Kuching, like me. :P And Dominic who's from PJ and Edward who works in Shell for picking us up for church last sunday. Last Sunday i went to Calvary and the service was quite good. Although it wouldn't hurt to see more young people involved in the church.

Thank God for the character defining time i'm going through now. All i want to do is submit and allow him to work in me to will and to do his good pleasure. And make me who he wants me to be.

I thank God for my courses, even though they are challenging, I thank God that I can do all things through his Son who gives me strength.

Finally I thank God for you all for your love for God and if there's one thing i've learnt in my life thats been helping me out even now, is this: DON"T EVER GIVE UP! Keep pushing on the pressure thats pushing you.

God bless you

~shalom~