home dusty home

Every time it comes for me to leave Kuching i feel sappy. The happy part having my room back with internet. There's no one here now so its kind of fast even though we've not paid the bill for more than 3months tsk tsk.

It so happens that i'm always the first to arrive so all the cleaning is on me. The house is tidy just dusty from inactivity for such a long time.

My landlord was nice enough to cut the grass. I just saw the neighbour's lawn overgrown with grass the height of an average human. But its good to be back.

I'm looking forward to this semester and the concluding one after it. I think its time to go back home :)

Ok i'll go clean now. My nose can't take it. Good thing i still have a box of tissues.

-ONWARD

kuching and some

Happy new year. So Christmas is over and so is 2009. Lots of memories, lots 0f challenges and stuff but this is a new year.

Just a brief update on whats been happening. I'm finally in Kuching after much struggle and uncertainty. Now i think about it, i should have taken the damn bus and come earlier. I missed most of the Bethany performance at the spring shopping mall. It would have been nice to be there but oh well.

Finally had laksa for breakfast today. For some reason it didnt taste as good as i expected, was so-so. In the past few weeks i've watched avatar in 3d, sherlock holmes (homer sherlock, inside joke), played badminton with bare feet - very embarrassing, played futsal with bare feet - equally embarrassing so today i went and got a pair of cheap futsal shoes. Its still tight so its not so comfortable. One disadvantage of living in Asia is that its hard to find shoes size 8 and above. They stock very few in those higher sizes because the majority of shoe sizes are below 8.

My online time has been cut down drastically because of where i live and its making me miss my house in Miri. Just found out i have a new housemate who's from Kuching so its going to be an interesting final year.

What else.. ah resolutions. My resolution for the year? I've decided its a waste of time but i will try to live a better life, be a better friend, housemate, president, son...

I guess thats all for now. Have to be back before starbucks closes. I miss my favourite times square starbucks, dont have to pay to use the wifi huhu. Oh yeah, my insomnia is gone. I finally sleep like a normal human :)

In all your dealings this week don't forget nothing is bigger than our God.

-ONWARD

real talk

Routine. has been the story of my life these few days. It sucks staying back in miri now when there are less than a hand-full of people here. Everyday its the same thing. Kind of like living each new day in a replay of the previous. And there's a possibility i'll be spending christmas alone, huhu.

Onset insomnia. is what i have. I don't know how i got it, i don't know how to lose it but for weeks now i can't sleep until its 5 in the morning. Well except for sundays where it takes considerable effort - changing my alarms, asking someone to wake me up, actively staying awake, to keep me upright for the most part of the day. Although i feel drowsy all through the service. This is bad.

Had an interesting talk with my mom this morning. Even though she's thousands of miles away i feel like she's right here. Mothers are a blessing. The past few months have been rather difficult for me, personally. I know what you're thinking, its not THAT. Its just... you get used to something even when you know its not the way it ought to be but...adaptation? Anyway i miss having someone talk to me, i mean real talk. it can do wonders for a man.

Well where ever you are, i want to wish you the best of the season. Merry Christmas :)

p.s the title of this post was suppose to be 'you should read my book' - you will never guess ^^

-ONWARD

all's well...

Hi there. So the semester is almost coming to an end. Tickets have been bought. Assignment due dates are closing. Soon we'll all be sitting for finals. Its been an incredible ride this semester, a lot of troughs and rarefactions haha i remember my physics.

The past few weeks have been really busy, i don't like when the assignments and tests are clustered together so that there's no breathing space. But alas its coming to an end. Another 3 months of break, wondering what i will do with my time seeing that i didn't make the best use of it this time.

God is good :)

-ONWARD

back on fb

Selamat Hari Raya to all those celebrating. I don't think i have many malay friends. Anyways tomorrow marks the end of my long absence from facebook and i must say i'm looking forward to more facebook. So whats the whole point? Well I need to learn self-control.

Now i'm not sure what i'll do on fb. I can't continue all my games where i left off. That would make all this effort useless so i guess no more games for me. Sad really.

Was not really in a good mood last week. I just hate it when you put so much time and effort into something and still its not enough, its very frustrating. It kind of reminds you that there are limits to what you can do. But very very frustrating it is.

Bought a book from popular, 10 dumb things smart christians believe. Thanks to Reuben for showing it to me. Its one of those books that challenge what you believe and have accepted but not in a haha loser kind of way but in a this could be so much easier kind of way. Anyways good read and goodbye for now.

-ONWARD

9.9.09

What a day! I finished one assignment and submitted one lab in the nick of time. I have to say its very thrilling to do things last minute but when it becomes a habit it can be dangerous. I'm tempted to make a resolution in this matter but i know better not to do that.

Facebook is evil!

Most of you will agree. I think its not evil in itself, just that most often it is misused. That said, my absence from fb continues until the 22nd of this month.

We had a talk in VCF today on time management and how to organise our time and i discovered or rather was reminded what i already know, i spend way too much time on the internet for my own good. Now there's a fine line between researching for information or staying up to date but just like the fb thing, it all comes down to how much of your time you are willing to waste. Time is not money. Money can be stored, regained, not so with time. And the most frightening thing is that we all will give an account to the maker of time on how we have spent it.

On being empty, i recognise that i don't really have someone to hold me accountable, challenge me with regards to my spiritual life and that it might well be a phase, a season in my life. One that i want to see pass as soon as possible. I've been listening to some of the sermons i've neglected for a while now and they have been life to me. We need each other.

Senadin {Senadin is the place i live} experienced shortage, no a lack of water for a whole day yesterday and it was interesting to see the reaction of everyone. The coffee shops were full because most people who cook at home could not. Made me wonder how the cs wash their plates and prepare their food. Many people bought boxes of mineral water, so much that i'm suprised the shop didn't increase the price. Some went to town for the simple pleasure of taking a bath. Makes you value even things like water we take so much for granted.

-ONWARD

this and that

The past few weeks have been very interesting. It was very frustrating dealing with the people at streamyx, getting the line installed and working and the occasional (i always have to think of the correct way to spell occasion) call to 100 (their helpline) when for some reason i can't connect to the internet when everyone else can. But the time away from the rest of the world was perfect to spend some time playing a few computer games i've kept on hold because of this and that. So far i still have not completed nfs 2, most wanted and i just got started on carbon. Plus there's not burnout paradise thats quite difficult to play, atleast at first because the controls are all weird and i finally got to play diablo 2 after a long time. I remember i got stuck at the earlier levels and now i'm at the end of act 1. It was fun playing with my housemates too :)

Time away from the internet also freed me to do some thinking. Increasingly i've been worried about well this and that and i got this great book thats suppose to help straight things out in my inner world. If you know me you know how disorganised i am. There's something about chaos that's i dunno refreshing? No thrilling is the word. The rush and all.

I've also been thinking about what it means to meditate on God's word. Thats why there's a previous post from a site that was a result of a google search. But its simple and short. There's none of the theological crap that confuses people. Its interesting that these days we feel guilty when we are less busy. It seems to be that the more busy you are the more successful you are, the more you are getting things done. Thats not really the case.

I've been watching house a lot lately, atleast 3 episodes a day and the more i watch, the more i feel like i want to be a psychologist or something like that. For some people its all about the medicine and how brilliant a doctor he is, never afraid to take a risk, always taking the unconventional and sometimes the downright wrong path but in the end he gets his job done. I certainly admire that but for me the part thats interesting is the undercurrent of activities, the behind the scenes drama that goes on, the little things. How a gesture means more than what people say. And of course, the golden rule; everyone lies. Human life is interesting.

School starts monday and with it everything else. Here's to a great semester. One we will never forget. I read this somewhere

Never postpone joy

-ONWARD

kuching and some troubling news

Its thursday, i'm in kuching, have been here since monday night. Airasia delayed my flight that was suppose to be at 5.40 to 7.40. Sigh. Good thing i had a friend with me. Its been a while since i flew, didnt know AA now has seat numbers but people still rush in.

Monday was great, had four friends come meet me at the airport then went to eat at kenyalang. Its nice to see sam again :)

Tuesday went to bethany home, spent most of the day there. At night was janna's farewell dinner thing. Met amy there, was so weird seeing her in kuching, some more with the people i hang out with.

Wednesday after a day at bethany home, went bowling with a few friends and it was quite nice. Was only the second time i've gone bowling, the first time was in miri with my roommate agilan.

Troubling news.

Out of curiousity and concern i went for an eye test and they said one of my eyes are bad. I've long suspected because when i take pictures using the optical viewfinder, i noticed i can't really focus properly. Now i'm worried. The last thing i want is to wear glasses. They're so inconvenient. But i guess its about time also since both my sisters and my mom have 4 eyes plus my dad. I think i'll get a second opinion before i do anything stupid :p

Oh yeah had laksa today at bdc. Not bad but not the original laksa i usually have here. Tonight going to transformers. And now you're updated.

-ONWARD

a few new things

The past few weeks have been quite interesting. Went for a camp at Batang Ai, then went on doulos to take pictures for a murial painting competition. Doulos is great, there are a lot of really nice people there. Met a nigerian who's committed to going back and changing the way people think.

I think its great that some of us come out of the country to get a taste of what humility really means and how a nation should function.

Things to looks forward.... well there is the presentation at the spring. I wish i were singing but i'll be taking pictures on that day. Have I mentioned how i love taking pictures? But yeah its going to be awesome and there's another presentation at Jervynna's grand folks place on christmas eve.

But before all that we'll be off on the doulos this sunday for a trip. I hear there are three buses leaving from bethany centre, st. faith and kuching town no.1 and transportation is absolutely free just come. The buses will be leaving at 2pm so don't be late.

Christmas eve there will be a service and lunch and some visitations.

I thought of making a new theme for this blog to mark the new year and i've been working on it. I wanted something simple, not so much graphics but simple and elegant but i don't think i'll be finished this year with so many things going on at the moment.

I'm very optimistic about the new year. I think its going to be an exciting and challenging. But i believe its going to be a very good year.

I want to specially thank God for blessing my family this year and for keeping them all in good health. I pray that his faithfulness and blessing, his protection and covering will continue.

~shalom~

blogging is dead

I heard blogging is dead. Well i don't know about that but this blog has certainly stagnated. 

Well exams are over, its done, onward. Now i face an uncertain break. I'm not sure what to do with all the time. I certainly don't want to spend my days in front of the computer unless i have to. I'm not sure if i'll be going to Kuching again this break although i would love to just that I need to settle things at my new house. I have a feeling i've said this before...

Yep blogging is dead, i don't know what to say... see you in Facebook?

No la. I feel a winds of change coming. The next sem is going to be interesting in many levels. There will be changes and i just hope we respond to them in the right way. 

I believe next year is another opportunity to do things right, to grow in new areas as well as in other areas where there should be growth especially personally and spiritually. I want next year to be a year of purpose of course without work its just going to be desires.

I miss my family a lot. Love them so much :)

~shalom~

updates 291108

I just feel like making a post since i've been rather quiet lately. 

Exams are approaching and i don't feel it, don't feel like there's an urgency there's an almost indifference, scary!

Moving to a new house next sem, hopefully all goes well with the renovations and with my new housemates. I have a feeling its going to be one noisy house. 

This saturday I'll be attending a wedding at Grace Methodist Church pujut. I'll be among those singing. Picture this if you can, me singing jin jia jo, lia xin yah saw, jin jia ho... haha. Will be interesting hehe.

There's a possibility that i'll be spending the entire 3 months in miri. I'm not so sure what i'll be doing eventhough i have a few ideas to keep me busy. Anyone going to be in miri? Let me know so i won't feel all alone.

I feel like a lot of the people i've come to know are moving away, some finishing with school, others moving to other places. Almost makes me want to go away somewhere. I guess life's like that, people come and go and hopefully the time you spent together with them was worthwhile while you had it. I know i'm going to miss those leaving. Keep in touch guys.

Lately i've been thinking about the people of Israel and how they always follow God's laws for a season and then go their own way and cause God to send oppression to them so much that they cry to him again for deliverance and how he's always been there to deliver them time and time again and how that relates to our lives. Yeah there are seasons when i feel so close to him, and times when i dont feel like i'm doing anything that is good but looking at the God then and how even when he had not shown his humanity in the person of Jesus how he loved his people to deliver them from their mess when they called on him, gives me hope that he will always be there for me when i go my own way. 

I miss being in a family. Oh yeah, happy birthday manda :)

~shalom~

1130212

Hi how are doing? Good i hope.

Today has been a rather interesting day. We went out with Eugene. First locating him was a small challenge but once we got him it was the little matter of where to bring him. There's really nothing much to see in miri so its hard to know where to bring people out to.

We ended up having lunch at 2020. While there i observed a man dividing one bottle of liang teh {forgive my spelling if i'm wrong} into 4 cups and i thought to myself, wow imagine that he has to share almost everything he has into 4 parts, or more. It reminded me of something pastor said; marriage is the most unselfish thing anyone can ever do. Something to ponder on.

We heading to bintang for some window shopping, ended up buying a book. Yeah another book. At this rate i'm going to need a place to put all these books so that i have space for other things. Its getting scary la.

Since we've not been to DeliFrance, we thought its worth giving it a try and my goodness was it ever so mahal. Needless to say i won't be going there very often.

We went to EYM later in the day and after everything i only got back home at about 12 something. Its just about 1 am now and my eye lids are closing. Listening to Chad Blondel's chase album. Haven't really had the time to listen to it since Ben died centuries ago. Thanks to Delia, its now in my itunes library :)

Good night, and remain blessed

~shalom~

Cat lover

Hello everybody, how was your week?

My week was quite interesting :) had two boxes of big apple donuts on saturday with Robert and Amanda. Went to the spring, twice in one week, bought a few things among them was my very first Giordano t-shirt. I have three now but the previous two were gifts from friends.

Sam's gone to australia :( going to miss him.

Going back to miri tonight, thanks Oliver and Joshua for picking me up.

Ok i want to talk about something. In many ways i consider Kuching as a home away from home. I feel very relaxed here. Its like every chance i get i come back to this place and everytime its been different. The last time simon was here and we worked together, had devotions together and we helped plan for the camp among other things. Simon is another guy who's left for perth. I dunno why every one is going to perth these days but anyway, its always refreshing to meet almost everyone even for a short while, to see the changes, the ahem, couples :) err let me take that again.

Its always refreshing to be able to meet the people here. I like that i get the opportunity to serve at bethany, thank you pastor for giving me that opportunity. And i like that i get to go out with different groups of people, go for movies, laksa, coffeebean or just drive around looking for blank cds hehe. I like that bethany is still here and is growing. There are a lot of new faces, some people i don't really know well but its still the same bethany, i still can meet with God, i still can join in the worship and feel the presence of God. There is something about this church that makes me always want to come back. In many ways i think i come back to draw strength, to be encouraged, to be motivated, to believe more.

I like what shellyn shared on saturday night. It really ministered to me. She was sharing from Psalm 139, one of my favourite Psalms. I've tried to memorise it but still miss a few bits here and there but i was reminded that God indeed cares for us, and that everything we need for the journey he has called us to, for the work he has placed in our hands, everything we need to get the job done is inside of us, He put it there. And its for us to bring it out, to step out in faith, to... like pastor said put legs to our dreams and vision and stop day dreaming. It sounds so simple but it really encouraged me.

Many times fear and doubts cripple us and we begin to what if, and analyse, and all that but this is the God who parted the red sea man! What is difficult for him? I just hope i can continue to remember that when doubt comes and i worry, to be like David, say bless the Lord oh my soul and all that is within me, bless his holy name. To be able to look to the hills where my help comes from because its not about me, its all about Him. And if we are faithful, he is always faithful. Amen.

I'm going to miss you all in kuching :'( hope to be here again some time.

~shalom~

as it draws to an end

As my trip to kl draws to an end, i have mixed feelings. Sad that i'll be leaving KL and all the nice shopping malls, and good roads, low yat, all the food, all the travel. But what i'm going to miss most is the family in which i have stayed for the most part of these two weeks.

I am really grateful to Alvin's family for having me all these time, for treating me like family. I got to go for a dinner with all the aunties and his granny and two cousins. And for alvin for driving us almost everywhere. My sincere thanks to you all. On thursday i'll be heading to Kuching for 10 days. I'm so looking forward to it. On another note, there is a certain rift between me and my mom. Somehow she has this idea that something is bothering me, and she's always right. Its partly i fault, i've not been calling as much as i used to. I just wish she can be calm and not worry too much.

I have this habit of buying books. I don't really read all the books i buy because i'm quite busy and also because i'm lazy to sit down and read. And its amazing that i can buy books and read because i remember some time ago when my mom would put me into this routine to read books and in the process i read one book that suggested I buy books even though i don't read them and i think thats why.

Remain blessed :)

~shalom~

Back in Subang

I'm wearing my nostalgia hat on this post so except the abstract.

Before anything i just want to thank the Penang people; edric, Jmee, and Angie for bring us out to the best spots. And for my companions of course. It wouldn't be as nice without you all. Food in Penang is really good. We were literally hopping from one food place to the other. I can eat, a lot but not like that. I eat bit by bit. That was a little too extreme for me but it was good.

On the trip back the heavens opened and it rained all the way from Penang to KL. That slowed us down but created a good reflection on life and in the midst of the talking, we recognised that in a few years time, we might not see each other again. Like amanda put it, this trip, the three of us here in the car will become a memory.

Thinking about it, i don't remember most of my primary school friends. Some of my secondary school friends i know but others i have no clue whats up with them, lost touch. Even some of my friends in Inti are long gone and maybe we'll never meet again. Life is so temporary, almost like we're living for the moment and after this season of our lives things will change again and we have to make new friends and have different crowds we're comfortable with. Its really quite depressing when you think of it. There are some friends i don't want to lose but like i was reading Readers' Digest this morning, don't hold on tightly to earthly possessions. There's another story in that line but maybe next time.

Somehow it makes you appreciate more the now, the friends you have now, the experiences you have now. The people in your life now, because in time, things will be different, things will change, they may no longer be there, there might be separation, there might be things that come in your life that you have absolutely no control over. It might cause you pain and sadness but in the end. For most of my friends, in the end, i know that one day by God's grace we will all meet again in the grand celestial reunion in heaven. Because we all call on the name of the Lord. We are separated by time and distance but always connected to the same God, who loves us and gave himself for us. We may lose each other but we still have Him.

~shalom~

still in penang

How are you doing? Just a brief one on whats been going on. On monday we drove from Subang to Penang with a brief stop at Ipoh to eat and try the famous Ipoh {I previously said Ipod coffee. Thanks anonymous for pointing it out to me :paiseh:} white coffee. The food was good, very good and the coffee was nice. So nice i bought some back.

We got to Penang quite late and checked into a fairly new hotel. The place was not bad, it had a tv, with a few astro channels and most importantly hot water. But it was weird the way they priced their rooms; based on internet connectivity. I was so shocked when i heard that, definitely a first for me.

Tuesday we met up with Roberto, Jmee, Edric, and later with Angie. Had a good time going from one eating place to another. Eating so much within a a short time frame is not one of my hobbies. I can eat a lot but not all at once. But i valued the time spent with friends.

Also met up with Eilyn, for a short while only. She looked good as usual :) We have one more night here. For the last two nights we stayed at two different places last night was at YMCA which is quite cheap 85 for a night.

Today? Not so sure, but I want to go to the movies tonight, not sure what the others want to do.

Remain blessed :D

~shalom~

the trip so far

I've not had time to blog because i've not really had the time to a computer. I think one of the good things about not having a computer at the moment is that my online time has greatly reduced. I hope it doesn't change when i get Delia.

KL is a mad house, the roads go everywhere, i would get lost if i were not with people who are from here. So far its been good. A typical day starts at about 9 or then, and when you go out of the house you can only get back at about 12 or 1. Its that crazy. I wonder how the young people here can take all the busyness.

Went to City Harvest today. It was quite nice la, only thing was that i went late and had to sit outside the hall. That in itself was the weirdest church experience for me. I literally spent the afternoon watching the televised version of the service going on beyond the glass doors. There simply was no room in the hall. But the service was good, i enjoyed myself. And guess what the pastor was talking about? {kenin was so pleased with himself that the pastor is from Tawau} The R word, ah relationships. It seems like its a hot topic these days, everywhere i go i can't seem to run away from it. But like i said it was good.

So after church, we had food fellowship with the church folks, and kenin's friends then went to meet up with cheryl, grace, erina at the curve for the rest of the afternoon. There we watched the bank job. Not bad though i didn't really enjoy the movie it was more of a history kind of thing for me but well i guess its the time spent with friends that count. After the movie we just hanged out, didn't do much shopping though someone spent over 300 today.

Tomorrow, i mean today we'll be driving to penang for a few days. I can't wait to go penang finally, after everything the penang people say the food one very nice one. The moment of truth is near.

Ok la nothing much to say oso. And no i didnt take much pictures. Carrying my camera around is becoming a burdensome undertaking so might not have a lot of pictures of the trip. Remain blessed and under His love ;)

~shalom~

fuhree

Hi how are you doing? So exams are over. My last paper was yesterday and I had a good time in town with a few friends. Watched the sunset and then went for a rather nice dinner at a rather nice place.

Will be leaving for KL this friday for a shh... food trip, hehe actually its more than that. I just feel like doing something adventurous for a change. Miri can be quite, what's the word? Boring!

Don't really feel like blogging much these days. Maybe its because i still don't have a computer. Have a nice day :) 

~shalom~

red pink or yellow

I've not made my mind yet what color Delia will be. I wanted to get a pink on initially just for the fun of it but decided not to. Someone promised to steal it if it was pink. So i thought red is not a bad color, but jacqueline already has a red laptop. So what else is there? I don't want a blue one, white is not me, black is too generic so that leaves imho yellow. Yellow?

On the exams front, i have one more paper to go. Considered ok but i still need to study for it, especially mathematical induction and recursive relations, still don't get it. For the others i just need to do more practice and refresh my memory.

I don't know what happened this sem, there was no will, no direction, i felt really out of sync and it makes me sad that i could do as well as i hoped. But there is still hope, because i put my trust on the rock that never fails, because my steps are ordered by him, because he can turn disaster to blessings and i wonder what i did to deserve it all. Yet i feel he's teaching me to learn to work harder than i have been.

These few weeks without my computer have been quite good in a way, i've been deprived of the things i do on a regular basis; go online, read tech news, check facebook, see what's on flickr and stuff and i miss all that, and they're not in theirself bad things but now that routine has been broken i tend to think more about whats really important. Instead of staying up late watching anime on veoh, i could sleep early so that i can wake up early and prepare for the day. See sometimes deprivation is not such a bad thing. It gives you something to aim for to look forward to like now i'm deprived of getting a mac, so it gives me something to look forward to. I told myself one day for sure but for now Delia will do.

~shalom~

June 1

First i want to congratulate Eilyn on her graduation, too bad i cannot be there but at least you have family with you.

Its the first of June, exams are in 8 days time and there is so much to do, just thinking about the amount of reading i'm suppose to do makes me scared. I'm really scared for this sem, its been very tiring, stressful and well you know.

Its really inconvenient not having a computer, i feel so bored at home, end up tempted to sleep. Cannot sleep also because then i feel guilty wasting time when i should be studying so at the end i'm down to spending a lot of time in the ME lab, doing most of my work here. At the moment there are just 5 of us here and its cold. Good thing i brought my jacket.

So this weekend we had the vcf committee retreat camp at Imperial Hotel, it was basically meetings and some fun, in between. For a few moments you actually forget that exams are coming soon and that made it worthwhile for me at least, i didnt have to worry about it, just enjoy the company of good friends and fellow committee members. Also another opportunity to take pictures. I would love to share them with you but Curtin blocks flickr so i cannot access them here but i have uploaded a few pictures to my flickr so you can check them out there. Will probably make a proper post about it when i have the time.

Church was good, as usual. There's one thing i noticed, sometimes the music is a mess and you cannot follow, its less than ideal like what i'm used to at bethany or in EYM but there's something pure, something right in the midst of the mess, if you really want to worship God it won't be a hinderance. And today i was reminded of the song, so you could come. The first time i heard the song was last year in the vcf lifecamp at niah. And its always special to me. The word was very timely as always :) i just thank God for putting me where i am, and for making me enjoy the things i am enjoying at the moment.

Father thank you for every moment, every day, every event, for everything. I feel really grateful for all you have done in my life, and continue to do. Help me in those times to lift my burdens and emotions to you and let you complete the work you have already started. I truely love you o-tou san.

~shalom~