countdown

Right now i feel like going somewhere where there's no on in sight for miles and just scream my lungs out.

~shalom~

red pink or yellow

I've not made my mind yet what color Delia will be. I wanted to get a pink on initially just for the fun of it but decided not to. Someone promised to steal it if it was pink. So i thought red is not a bad color, but jacqueline already has a red laptop. So what else is there? I don't want a blue one, white is not me, black is too generic so that leaves imho yellow. Yellow?

On the exams front, i have one more paper to go. Considered ok but i still need to study for it, especially mathematical induction and recursive relations, still don't get it. For the others i just need to do more practice and refresh my memory.

I don't know what happened this sem, there was no will, no direction, i felt really out of sync and it makes me sad that i could do as well as i hoped. But there is still hope, because i put my trust on the rock that never fails, because my steps are ordered by him, because he can turn disaster to blessings and i wonder what i did to deserve it all. Yet i feel he's teaching me to learn to work harder than i have been.

These few weeks without my computer have been quite good in a way, i've been deprived of the things i do on a regular basis; go online, read tech news, check facebook, see what's on flickr and stuff and i miss all that, and they're not in theirself bad things but now that routine has been broken i tend to think more about whats really important. Instead of staying up late watching anime on veoh, i could sleep early so that i can wake up early and prepare for the day. See sometimes deprivation is not such a bad thing. It gives you something to aim for to look forward to like now i'm deprived of getting a mac, so it gives me something to look forward to. I told myself one day for sure but for now Delia will do.

~shalom~

half way through

Exams are a pain. So far i'm two down and another two to go. The first two considered ok but the next two are diehard.

I'm not sure if anyone else does this but for my exams i usually have a dress theme. This sem i wanted to wear formal for all my papers but couldnt bring myself to do it. So i wore red for the first two and for the next two its going to be black shirts for me. Red for danger, black for death.

See you after monday, or sooner, who knows?

~shalom~

all the best

Wishing all the Curtin Students both in Miri and down under all the best on your exams. God bless.

~shalom~

reading lists

My reading list

One more day before i begin my exams. I must say i'm quite worried about my exams. I've been studying but I still feel worried especially as this is my first exam experience in Curtin and I dont know what to expect. Well if its like the test then it should be ok. But stil...

Somehow i also feel there are times all you need is faith, and just trust God to take care of things. Its not easy to do that but considering the alternative its a better state of mind to be in.

And it doesn't help matters when people start leaving while you have not even started your paper. Its so not fair :P

Anyways i've got a whole lot of studying to do.

~shalom~

10 more days

10 more days to my finals. I like that its back to back so i can take it all and be free for another 3 months. Gosh 3 months of no school! How am i going to survive. I mean i like the break but i am no comfortable with the length.

I will be moving out of my current accommodation. Its much more expensive that the houses outside, well some of the houses and the internet there is unreliable so yeah. Found a place for about 150 with internet but its quite far from the bus station. That is my only concern. Just called my mom to inform her and she was more concerned about my safety. I still miss my mom so much.

I had one suspicion confirmed today. My pastor revealed that he has visited this blog, and even though it didnt come as an absolute shock i was kind of taken aback. Its ok la, i dont write things that would unsettle people, at least i dont think i do.

Its amazing the influence words have on people, and how blogs can communicate words to lift up to depress. I know its a personal space but sometimes i feel like you know, am i being a blessing to someone or just thinking about me. I think its a balance that has to be struck somewhere between being honest and letting out and being aware of the effect it may have on others.

In other maybe unrelated chatter, this year has been one of many challenges, some i'm not sure i handled well but its one year i'm grateful to God for all he has done and continues to do in my life and the lives of people i love. I am truly thankful for EVERYTHING. Can't wait for next year.

~shalom~

140

Its the last day of October, and my 140th post, and also about 14days to my first paper. Also i have a quiz to study for today. It carries no marks but its another preparation for the big day.

I'm tempted to say, no more internet, no more blogging, from now on its study study study but it just doesn't work for me. I have a rather short attention span.

We had two friends from Youth With A Mission based in the Hawaiian island of Maui last night in our life group. They shared a bit on how prayer has helped them along their ministry to the people mostly in Borneo and how they were suppose to just pass by miri to Brunei for an opportunty to speak there but amongst them was a South African and he was denied entry. Apparently he needs a visa, like me.

One thing that i was reminded of, and its interesting how these things keep coming up is how prayer is suppose to be a communication with God and not just a request time. I quote one of my favourite quotes on prayer and God, "God is not a celestial vending machine..."

Many times prayer can be relegated to morning s and evenings but what happens to the rest of the day? Ah! so busy, no time for anything. True but what is really important? I must say this is how my days have been for a while now, school has been so engaging that i hardly think about God as the day progresses.

There's nothing, in all our pursuits thats more important than that relationship with God, and relationships need communication to survive.

I want to talk to you more Lord, everyday, to find a chance to know what you want. What can i do for you for a change?

~shalom~