thank God for family

I don't talk much about my family but I thank God for them. In many ways it have been one of God's greatest gift to me. Just thought I would share that.

Oh and by the way, is there a way to stop digi from sending me three smses all at once when I exceed a certain usage limit for the day? Its really annoying.
-ONWARD!

these imperfections

thanks Ruth for sharing.

-ONWARD

i love them

Its the 1st of November, in a few weeks we'll be sitting for finals. Its hard to believe another semester is over. Its been a struggle this sem but thank God for everything.

So my mom launches her book tomorrow in church. According to my sister the book is titled dealing with affliction. I know it has been on her mind for years now and finally she can launch it. I just wish i was there with her :) she's really an inspiration to me, and in many ways i wish i can be like her but we are two different people.

There's something i feel whenever i'm around the vcf people, something i've not felt until quite recently. I think it has taken time and a few recent events to make me see that i'm responsible for and to these people. I feel a sense of love? I know i care for each one of them and nothing makes me happier to know that they're alright, fighting their battles and trusting God. I tell you the way they all serve is amazing and thats something i always thank God for.

God bless my brothers and sisters, may your face shine on them, may you be with them through the tough times, let them know that you never leave, that you are always there, that nothing can separate them from your love. Help them realise that we can never be too bad or dirty to come to your presence to ask for forgiveness. And Lord that thing that is pure in them, that love for people and for you, i pray that you increase it. That as we are one family we will make every effort to continue in your love :) thank You father ^^

-ONWARD

bless my family

When i left nigeria not everyone was at home. I was missing a sister, she was away in school so i didn't get to say goodbye. Now i've been talking to her quite often since then but today she miss-called me. I didnt see it until this morning and i didnt call back until just now. 

Its been a long time, i see her pictures on fb and she's all grown up. Sometimes i just miss being the big brother, taking care of them, buying them stuff or just letting them criticize my choice of clothes. I remember we were going out once and they laughed at my pair of shorts, they were my favourite but by their standard it wouldn't do so i was compelled to go change.

i miss them la. heard my sister is going back in june. I wish i can be back too to see my mom whose birthday was last wednesday. She wants to celebrate her 50th in a big way :) I wouldn't want to miss that.

I was nice talking to her again. You know how parents have a 'favourite' child, she's probably my favourite sister. Not that i don't love the rest just that.... you know, can't explain it. I feel i'm closer to her than the others. 

Father bless my family, and keep them safe and sound, happy and glad, joyful and healthy, make their ways prosper and open doors of blessings for them. Let them shine your light and reflect your goodness. And prepare our reunion one day, make it special. Thank you Father.

~shalom~

updates 291108

I just feel like making a post since i've been rather quiet lately. 

Exams are approaching and i don't feel it, don't feel like there's an urgency there's an almost indifference, scary!

Moving to a new house next sem, hopefully all goes well with the renovations and with my new housemates. I have a feeling its going to be one noisy house. 

This saturday I'll be attending a wedding at Grace Methodist Church pujut. I'll be among those singing. Picture this if you can, me singing jin jia jo, lia xin yah saw, jin jia ho... haha. Will be interesting hehe.

There's a possibility that i'll be spending the entire 3 months in miri. I'm not so sure what i'll be doing eventhough i have a few ideas to keep me busy. Anyone going to be in miri? Let me know so i won't feel all alone.

I feel like a lot of the people i've come to know are moving away, some finishing with school, others moving to other places. Almost makes me want to go away somewhere. I guess life's like that, people come and go and hopefully the time you spent together with them was worthwhile while you had it. I know i'm going to miss those leaving. Keep in touch guys.

Lately i've been thinking about the people of Israel and how they always follow God's laws for a season and then go their own way and cause God to send oppression to them so much that they cry to him again for deliverance and how he's always been there to deliver them time and time again and how that relates to our lives. Yeah there are seasons when i feel so close to him, and times when i dont feel like i'm doing anything that is good but looking at the God then and how even when he had not shown his humanity in the person of Jesus how he loved his people to deliver them from their mess when they called on him, gives me hope that he will always be there for me when i go my own way. 

I miss being in a family. Oh yeah, happy birthday manda :)

~shalom~

my little treasure box

I like to think of myself as someone who does not hold many things that are of sentimental value. I've learned the hard way to have as close to nothing as something precious because ultimately they compete with God and it may take him ripping it off your hands to save you from yourself.

But i have this box, this thin box where I save some of the things that are precious to me, and if i lose everything else i wish never to lose those. Therein lies cards, letters, pictures and encouragements, a few souvenirs from over the years that i love going back to and taking a peek.

I've been trying to do my lab all day without much progress so as my mind wondered, i took a look at the box again to read those letters and was reminded how powerful our words can be and how powerless we can be to keep our words. Not because we don't want to but because there are greater more powerful 'things' that we unwillingly have to submit to. 

Kind of makes me think about the words of God that transcends time and space and is ever true. His words are not just for the present or the past, they are true for whatever future unfolds for us, and those that will come after us. His words are timeless, it does not attentuate with time or season or age. In the best of times, in the worst of times they are still potent. Human words can also be powerful, they give hope, they strengthen, sometimes they make us cry and break us to helplessness. 

I believe in God, there's a hope, {and i'll talk about hope some other time} but there's a hope and a confidence that cannot be shaken, at least not for too long, in the end i always come back to the basics. God is love, He is pure good, there is no evil in him even though sometimes he may allow evil and if it seems like he is far away, its for my good, its for your good, it is the time you cling even more to him, like a drowning man at sea clings to a piece of plank, just like the say Jacob clung to the angel in desperation. Knowing that there is no hope, no future outside of him. Everything out there is just bleak, mundane and sorrowful.

Yet we know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, and are called according to his purpose. And the b-e-a-uty of this statement is that He has called you, he said you did not choose me but i chose you. If that doesn't bring hope and confidence then something is really wrong. But yeah all things work together for our good and going through those letters i saw one my mom sent. 

I've not seen my mom in 4 years now, and i thought i'll be going back this year end to see all my siblings and my parents but thats not going to happen this year. I miss her, she's been such a great encouragement in my life, and part of the reason i don't have a very destructive lifestyle, i used to be different from what people know me now.  

I read her letter and it was something she sent oh i don't know some 2 - 3 years back and it was full of encouragement, i could almost feel her talking to me and i hope as a parent i will have this ability also, to speak something to my children or child that is just like a prophecy because thats what it was like. Even though she wrote it years back it still gives me strength and she talks still about my major struggles and gave me some scripture to memorize part of which i want to share.

From Philippians 4, finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Father, bless my mom with good health, long life, prosperity... Keep her safe as you always have and protect her soul from destruction. Let her see her grandchildren and give her the joy of seeing her children live for you all their lives. And also save my daddy, there's nothing you cannot do. I trust you.

~shalom~

exams and families

Its been a really busy week for me, most of my time was spent indoors in the quietness and coldness of the state library and the library in Inti college trying to cover as much as i can before my finals on thursday and friday. With all this stress i dont know if there would be a visit to pizza hut after all is said and done. ;)

Today's session on families made me reflect a bit about my own. I remember the time when i would wake up, get two cars out of the garage, wash them, check the oil and water on them before getting ready to go to school. Times when i would get all covered with grease and diesel and black smoke trying to start up the generator so we can atleast watch some tv before we sleep. Times when i grumbled after it seemed that out of 5 children in the family i was the only asked to do chores even those that are clearly for girls, imagine having to wash your mom's clothes and iron them.

I remember times when i couldnt take it anymore and there was nothing i could do because i was in a culture that does not allow open dialogue between hurting children and their parents. I once taught of running away from home but after going through the whole thing in my head, it wasnt the wisest decision to make. I remember the time when i taught i was adopted and even before blogs i had a way of expressing myself in words on paper, words that i kept hidden away until my mom found them and i had to explain myself. Those were humbling times.

Now as i look back at it, i can see God's hands in it. I must confess i was very stubborn, it doesnt show very much now but i needed to be humbled and to learn submission and my family was the perfect training ground. Through all the pains and trials and humiliations i can say i'm stronger for it and i thank God now for everything. Even though things are not dreamy, and my family is not the best in the world {who's is?} i still thank God for them and for every moment that i was punished to forced to work, for every time my mom would make me go to the salon with her, for the time when i crashed the car and didnt have to pay for it, for home made meals and extra servings, for the chickens that layed eggs and the goats that ate our flowers until they became the meal. For everything, we really dont know what we have until its no more there.

While we were discussing about this, there was an agreement that things could be better and so for me as a future parent, what kind of parent do i want to be? Would i want to be like mine or is there another way to bring up children? I believe God gives us every resource we need for any situation we will face and being a parent is a scary thing, so much that i dont know if i would do better but i believe, there must be a difference between people who belong to Christ and those who do not.

Father, thank You for my family, thank you for making me a member of that family, i pray even as i grow up to be a parent one day that you will guide me in your ways so i wont make the same mistakes they did and i ask and i receive your strength to be a good child to my parents, to honor them in any way i can, because it pleases you. Thank you father, thank you.

~shalom~