some errors

For a long time i have misunderstood a lot of what i read and expect from a christian life. I believe strongly that we reap what we sow and so for a long time i endeavoured to sow only the good things and was some what disappointed when i don't get back. I think that's error 1. Yes it is true that we reap what we sow but that does not mean if i sow enough good things, i create a buffer so that only good things come my way. On the contrary, people who do good things often have evil come their way. I know it sounds crazy. I didn't accept it for a long time but think about it. What right do I have to demand goodness? Who am I? Does being a christian miraculously make me special? Am I immune/exempt from the stuff 'other people' go through? Well this is my opinion, NO!

The only thing that makes a christian seem to be different is how they react to the things life throw at them. We have the bible which we have come to believe as God's word and over time God has shown us that we can trust the bible. And we can trust him. So we hold on to those promises of being delivered from evil but evil will come. I had a friend who broke up with his gf and almost passed out drinking himself to numbness. Christians also deal with breakups and they hurt just as much but the difference is in how they handle it. We don't drink or numb ourselves. We like sheep are helpless stupid creatures that God loves to smother with love and affection if we will only come to him when it hurts and tell him how we feel and what we need. That's the way to deal with it. And therein is the difference.

It is very important that there is that difference because what separates us from 'the others' is not much. We are saved by faith through grace, something we had no effort in.

Now i said we are not special but in God's eyes we are. He values the human soul more than the whole world. So much that he sacrificed something special just to save everyone of us. So yeah, sorry about that. We are special but we have no right to feel like 'the others' are second-class.

Again i thank God for good sermons. Onward baby :)

Father help me to go beyond myself, force me if you have to. Change my heart. You have my permission.

{update}
this is the second time i'm editing this. I think i'm claiming the typo king crown from kenin. blogging tip: read what you write before you publish. It will save you a few embarrassments.

-ONWARD

thy word

One of the things i'm forever grateful for is access to good sermons. Sometimes i just don't feel like i want to read the bible. Sometimes i get angry, sometimes i doubt. In those times when my faith is shaky i can sense a longing for the word. 

The bible says the word of God is truth and life. And for those who have put their faith in God, that life is everlasting. More than just knowing the truth, there's also the need to remember it. It gets so familiar that we realise how much we have forgotten when we try to explain it to someone who has no clue.

These are interesting times. Let encourage one another in love and purity not forsaking the gathering of ourselves for His sake. And guarding the mind. Someone said the mind is to the soul what the brain is to the body. And so whatever is noble, pure, is of good report... think of these things. And let the peace of God guard our hearts and minds.

-ONWARD

i get lost

Reblogged from kimberly because i like it so much and its true :)

When I say..."I am a Christian"

I'm not shouting "I am saved"

I'm whispering "I get lost!"

"That is why I chose this way."

When I say..."I am a Christian"

I don't speak of this with pride.

I'm confessing that I stumble

and need someone to be my guide.

When I say..."I am a Christian"

I'm not trying to be strong.

I'm professing that I'm weak

and pray for strength to carry on.

When I say..."I am a Christian"

I'm not bragging of success.

I'm admitting I have failed

and cannot ever pay the debt.

When I say..."I am a Christian"

I'm not claiming to be perfect,

my flaws are too visible

but God believes I'm worth it.

When I say..."I am a Christian"

I still feel the sting of pain

I have my share of heartaches

which is why I seek His name.

When I say..."I am a Christian"

I do not wish to judge.

I have no authority.

I only know I'm loved.

by Author Carol Wimmer

-ONWARD

deliver us

Tuesday nights are one of the best times of the week for me. Its always like haih tuesday again but at the end i feel wow so blessed. 

There's sometime about the alpha program or maybe its just fellowship, studying the bible together, learning, sharing that i love. I like that there are new things or things that i know but need to be reminded. Someone once told me humans need to be reminded more than they need to be instructed and its true.

Today we went through how to resist evil. And its true just as there's a God who's all good there's also a devil who is all evil but they are not in the same level. I mean God is all powerful and supreme and soverign, in control over every affair of man and life but the devil is not so powerful. The bible actually says he's a fallen being. And he's only there to steal, kill, destroy. 

Today i learned, well was reminded that yes there is a devil and its important not to be ignorant of him but to acknowledge that he is there and is out for anyone who wants to be good and follow the ways of God. If it seems like you are being attacked constantly thats a good sign because he won't attack those that belong to him, tempt them and stuff because they belong to him ma. 

Just as it is good to acknowlege the devil that he is real just like the baju we wear is real. Its also important not to be obsessed about the devil and go into all kinds of things, like witchcraft, casting spells and stuff like that. They may seem cool especially since harry potter does it but in the end its just the destruction of the person that the devil seeks.

We as christians have been uprooted from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of God where we are now called his children. And when we come to him he gives us the holy spirit so we cannot be possessed by evil spirits as long as we stay close to God and follow his ways.

One thing that i think is important as we go through life is to have an anchor, just like when silar was confused with who he was after he got the shape shifting ability denko asked him to find an anchor, something to remind him of who he really is and for denko it was a watch his dad gave him. I think its very important la to have something that will help you stand when the storms of life come. For me its a few things, and if you follow this blog you will hear me say it over and over again; God is good, he is pure good and nothing can separate us from his love and he only does what is right, he will not give us evil if the ultimate purpose is not to build us up. God is a loving God. That for me is what keeps me going when so much have been stripped away i always come to that.

~shalom~

who do you trust

I read this just now and i'm going to paste it here. Sorry about the English.

Reader, this is an important question. Listen to the Christian’s answer, and see if it is yours. “On whom dost thou trust?” “I trust,” says the Christian, “in a triune God. I trust the Father, believing that he has chosen me from before the foundations of the world; I trust him to provide for me in providence, to teach me, to guide me, to correct me if need be, and to bring me home to his own house where the many mansions are. I trust the Son. Very God of very God is he—the man Christ Jesus. I trust in him to take away all my sins by his own sacrifice, and to adorn me with his perfect righteousness. I trust him to be my Intercessor, to present my prayers and desires before his Father’s throne, and I trust him to be my Advocate at the last great day, to plead my cause, and to justify me. I trust him for what he is, for what he has done, and for what he has promised yet to do. And I trust the Holy Spirit—he has begun to save me from my inbred sins; I trust him to drive them all out; I trust him to curb my temper, to subdue my will, to enlighten my understanding, to check my passions, to comfort my despondency, to help my weakness, to illuminate my darkness; I trust him to dwell in me as my life, to reign in me as my King, to sanctify me wholly, spirit, soul, and body, and then to take me up to dwell with the saints in light forever.”

Oh, blessed trust! To trust him whose power will never be exhausted, whose love will never wane, whose kindness will never change, whose faithfulness will never fail, whose wisdom will never be nonplussed, and whose perfect goodness can never know a diminution! Happy art thou, reader, if this trust is thine! So trusting, thou shalt enjoy sweet peace now, and glory hereafter, and the foundation of thy trust shall never be removed.

Source: ccel.org

~shalom~

better is one day

Sometimes when i think about my life and how it would have turned out if i never found Jesus I suddenly have alot to be thankful for. I think sometimes we take that we are secure in him for granted. Being a christian is not just following a cool guy who stunned the world when he was on earth and being weak, turning the other cheek, being called a freak or looked down on, being unpopular and i heard someone say outdated. Its more than that.

Today just going to church i feel refreshed. Yesterday just joining the El shaddai Youth Ministry of Sib Canada hill, i feel refreshed. Its been i while since i jumped in service :P missed that.

Where am I going with this? Well we feel hurt sometimes, we make mistakes, we hurt others and make choice that may alter who we are, our futures, our lives and the direction it takes. We lose people and friends especially those that have been at some times very close and you wonder why, is it really worth it? How do I carry on, "where would i be without you..." hehe.

One thing that will never change through all the hardships and trials and temptations, self-inflicted or divinely arranged is the love of God. Today i was reminded of Hebrews 12:5 I almost cried, actually i cried in my heart la. As long as you have the mindset that trials and temptations are there to equip you and give you an opportunity to grow you can take courage and face them. We are not called to run away and surrender to pressure but to press on despite the pressure. Knowing that the Lord will not try you beyond your capacity to endure but we already have victory and he's always good.

GOD IS PURE GOOD FOREVER.

A quote that has stayed with me for a while now is this the root of all sin is in the suspicion that God is not good. I find it to be true. So hang in there, this is for me too.

~shalom~

when words fail

Yesterday I was asked to share in the wednesday meeting we have in Inti. It came as a surprise, i was totally not expecting it but i felt honour and inadequate to stand in front of everyone and share. Plus i had no idea what to share. Of course i could come up with a few things but is that what God wants me to share? 

So anyway, I prepared something, i was going to call it the difference but decided against giving the talk a title. So i just shared. I must say i'm not the most eloquent when it comes to giving talks or presenting or sharing in this manner but i thought what the heck, when will i get the chance to speak again?

While preparing i was so excited, everything seemed to fall into place, I felt confident, planned the direction i was going to take and estimated about... just to round it off about...10mins. Its no secret that i dont talk much. 

I was excited by the book love not the world by Watchman Nee and wanted to share some of the truths i learned from the book as well as from my life experiences. Watchman was talking about this world system and how everything in it is aggressively against the kingdom of God. How the spirit of this world, controlled by Satan controls most of the activities we're involved in; education, finance, commerce, art, science, technology. He warns that as christians we should we wary every time we come in contact with the things of this world and see the world as God sees it, as condemned to death. He gave an analogy that i found very interesting. If a bank is liquidating, and news of its sudden death is well known, it would be grossly foolish to still deposit money in such a bank. Likewise since this world is fading away with everything it craves it would be grossly foolish to lay up treasures here where moth and thieves break in and steal.

He talks about salvation as the power that delivers us from the spirit of this world and not necessarily from sin, condemnation or hell. And how salvation means turning from the natural world that we are born into, into the kingdom of God wholeheartedly. Therefore at some point in our lives we must decide to follow God with all our hearts, forsaking all that is in the world and following him, severing all ties to this world and indeed hating everything that is agressive towards the Kingdom of God.

Oh how I prepared and made all the mental cues but when it came time to share its like my well organised order was scrambled and i felt like i didnt deliver what i wanted to. I kept whispering to myself ...its not suppose to be like this. My order was messed up and i felt let down. Its quite sad that i can't perform in the level that i see myself in. Always short and disappointing. I mean whats the point of knowing all these things when i cannot translate it into ways that i feel it and know it in my heart. It is most inconveniencing. My mother may be a teacher but i certainly am not.

But i feel that God's word went out and it doesnt go out without accomplishing what its meant to accomplish despite my shortcomings. I guess its a learning process. Funny when i write those "shortcomings" seem to be less obvious. A quote i came across and have been remembering alot is this: Even little people cast giant shadows when the time is right.

~shalom~

kingdom knights

There's one thing about having nothing to do, you get to a point where you can think and experience alot of things, step back and see things a little differently. There have been some of those happening lately. I must confess i've not been in a spiritual high lately, and its my fault. Been really lazy, crazy and certainly not busy but somehow God has found ways to get to me.

Today we had the prayer meeting in inti and basically we were praying against controlling spirits in the college, it was warfare, was really loud and powerful. Then i remembered Ephesians 6 from 10.

The whole armour of God
A final word: Be strong in with the Lord's mighty power. {I've been hearing variations of these lately}. Put on all of God's armour so that you will be able to stand firm against ALL strategies and tricks of the Devil. For we are not fighting against flesh and blood, but against the evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against those mighty powers of darkness who rule this world, and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms. {Basically the devil hates your guts if you're a christian; I am an enemy of satan}

Use every piece of God's armour to resist the enemy in the time of evil, so that after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armour of righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that you will be fully prepared.

In every battle you will need faith as your shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed at you by satan. Put on salvation as your helmet, take the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God. Pray at all times and on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all christians everywhere. {Emphasis mine}

The word of God is so refreshing, but as i look at this and compare my life, alot of these element are either missing or not fully utilised and i dont like that. This also reminds me of knights because every aspect of a knights suit is described here. Kind of like this guy standing in the picture.

The picture helps me evaluate myself if any part of the armour is lacking, or need to be fixed or something. And finally i would like to close with a quote i found on someone's blog

Even small people cast giant shadows if the time is right

~shalom~
Photo credit: telportfolio
Quote from xanga.com/redsfriend

my mothers' day

Just called my mom, see how she's doing on this mothers' day and it was so good to hear her voice, still quite strong, still very cheerful it blesses my heart just to know she's ok. Thank God my sister smsd to remind me its mothers day. I know someone is still angry with me because i forgot her birthday.

Its not easy being the first child, there's alot of responsibility and sometimes it can get overwhelming. But i believe there's nothing that is impossible, i believe in small beginnings and i believe there's a God who's a rewarder of those who diligently seek him. I believe He will supply ALL my needs according to His riches in glory and whatever i lay my hands to do shall prosper because you know what God is faithful and thats one thing that will ALWAYS be constant in all our lives.

Spent part of the evening cutting down some of the trees around the house with moyin. My landlady suddenly appeared and gave us work to do. She's a nice lady la and i feel she's quite lonely so she numbs out by occupying herself with alot of activities. I always feel like i want to help her in some way. Her children are all over the world and she lives all alone, being a widow and all.

After all the work she invited me to have dinner at her house. If its food i'm there especially as i was feeling too lazy to go to an atm so i can buy some food. Her house is full of flowers and documents; letters, bills, the works almost like a warehouse for storing old papers. Everywhere is stuffed with stuff, even the fridge is full of foodstuff. But it was good. We had chicken rice with alot of chicken. Apperently like me, she likes meat :D

Like pastor was sharing today about the acts of different ones in bethany, i was just reminded of alot of things and by God's grace everyday we grow to become more like Him in everyway. And indeed we can serve God and others in little ways like just being a listening ear or a safe place where friends can come and not feel threatened or intimidated. I was really blessed today.

~shalom~

who am i?

Blogs are great, its place where you have freedom of expression, anything and everything is at your discretion but that freedom can be abused and well we get out of line sometimes. Its nice what shellyn said and its true, it should be real. So i've decided to make a few changes, wont say what they are but i hope you notice as time goes on.

In the last post i shared that i was reading a book and who we are in Christ is at the core of the book, here are a few things;

I am the salt of the earth (matt 5:13)
I am the light of the world (matt 5:14)
I am a child of God (John 1:12)
I am part of the true vine, a channel of Christ's life (John 15:1,5)
I am Christ's friend (John 15:15)
I am chosen and appointed by Christ to bear His fruit (John 15:16)
I am a slave of righteousness (Rom 6:18)
I am enslaved to God (Rom 6:22)
I am a son of God; God is spiritually my father (Rom 8:14, 15; Gal 3:26,4:6)
I am a joint heir with Christ, sharing His inheritance with Him (Rom 8:17)
I am a temple - a dwelling place - of God. His spirit and His life dwell in me (1 cor 3:16; 6:19)
I am united to the Lord and am one spirit with Him (1 cor 6:17)
I am a member of Christ's Body (1 cor 12:27; Eph 5:30)
I am a new creation (2 cor 5:17)
I am reconciled to God and am a minister of reconciliation (2 cor 5:18,19)
I am a son of God and one in Christ (Gal 3:26,28)
I am an heir of God since I am a son of God (Gal 4:6,7)
I am a saint (1 cor 1:2; Eph 1:1; Phil 1:1; Col 1:2)
I am God's workmanship - His handiwork - born anew in Christ to do His work (Eph 2:10)
I am a fellow citizen with the rest of God's family (Eph 2:19)
I am a prisoner of Christ (Eph 3:1; 4:1)
I am a righteous and holy (Eph 4:24)
I am a citizen of heaven, seated in heaven right now (Eph 2:6; Phil 3:20)
I am hidden with Christ in God (Col 3:3)
I am an expression of the life of Christ because He is my life (Col 3:4)
I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved (Col 3:12; 1 Thess 1:4)
I am a son of light and not of darkness (1 Thess 5:5)
I am a holy partaker of a heavenly calling (Heb 3:1)
I am a partaker of a heavenly calling (Heb 3:14)
I am one of God's living stones, being built up in Christ as a spiritual house (1 pet 2:5)
I am a member of a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession (1 pet 2:9,10)
I am an alien and stranger to this world in which I temporarily live (1 pet 2:11)
I am an enemy of the devil (1 pet 5:8)
I am a child of God, and the evil one - the devil - cannot touch me (1 John 5:18)
I am not the great "I am" (Exo 3:14; John 8:24, 28,58), but by the grace of God, I am what I am (1 cor 15:10)

See yourself as God sees you. Its liberating :)

~shalom~

backslidden

I came across this post and it really put things back into perspective for me. I'll just quote a few of the things that was said.

If you are not in daily prayer; if you are not regularly fasting; if you are not actively and practically seeking to know God - then I imagine that you are backslidden. Backslidden from your invitation of intimacy, nobility and power.

I'm reading a book and something the author said caught my attention, he said "...next to the Holy Spirit, the greatest power you possess is the power to choose. You can choose to read your bible daily, or not you can choose to pray or not to pray..." Here's some more

There are 100 other things I would rather do than pray, fast and read the Bible. But I have committed to do them. I force myself into these disciplines when I don’t want to because I know, that through them I will find encounter. I am working out my salvation in partnership with the Holy Spirit.

The lifestyle practices of prayer, managing my time and money, making a covenant with my eyes and bridling my tongue do not earn me the anointing. Rather, they are preparing me for when the anointing comes. So when God wants to meet me in a new way, I am where He wants me and I don’t miss the move of God in this generation.

Its easy to get caught up in alot of activities but what really matters, and this is especially for me is how well I know Jesus and what i'm doing with the talents, gifts and time that i have.

Of course God NEVER condemns, but its good to be reminded from time to time that we are here on assignment, there's more to this life than just living.

Read the complete post here.

~shalom~