Forgive me for being very vague but i feel i need to express myself without going into details.
I know we must be brave, and that things happen and the timing may not be convenient, they never are really and i know the kind of trouble it will cause, and quite frankly i am tired of all of this. I just don't understand why.
But i do. Are you teaching me something? Should i learn something and keep with me for all my life so i don't get into this again? I don't want anymore, i just need some kind of stability in my life, i just need some kind of assurance that all my worries are taken care of. I know they are but up in my head, i need it in my heart.
I know you love me, and you are pure good and everything you let happen is for my own good but sometimes i wish you would let everyone else who's going to be affected know also so i won't have this pressure. Really i... i don't know if i can handle everything i'm expected to. I always seem for all short, where are my victories? I need some hope. I need you to guide me and show me like you did before, before everything got messed up.
Don't be far...
~shalom~