bye bye butterfly

The light has not reached these parts in a while but those rays can be seen pass the thick canopy above, down here below all the cover.

The rain slowly breaks the soil, tears it up into many pieces everything that's left of the previous season.

New life springs because it should, because it must, because this seed will not simply lie and die, because someone cared more then they should.

-ONWARD

where is home

This time of the year is always one of the most interesting. Everyone goes back and Senadin becomes a shell of what it used to be. A common question is when are you going back?, my common answer is go back where? My home is in Nigeria and Kuching and in Miri.

Since i don't usually go back to Nigeria, i tend to go back to Kuching every chance i get but this time for some reason i don't know if i can, or should. I miss everyone there, Bethany and stuff just dunno rojak i guess. I think its time to leave already.

I always remember this song by switchfoot everytime i think about it. This is home.

-ONWARD

savannah

this song is instant love haha. I love it, been listening all day.




Savannah - Relient K

Savannah
I hope to be there by the morning
And see this pining all transforming
Into the arms of the Georgia sun

Savannah
I'd love to feel the heat the sunrise
Brushing rays across my
windshield as if one dries
The streams from off my face

Yet I know you'll be there
cause you'll know I'll want
you to be there
And we'll say hello as
you're smiling in love
And we'll sigh so relieved I believe
because we will both know by
tonight we'll feel normal again
But until then

Savannah
Our backs supported by a hammock
We sum up perfection like a handbook
And God knows it all too well

Savannah
We'll take a walk to find a gift shop
Who would've thought the
book that you bought
Would never come off the shelf

Yet I know you'll be there
cause you'll know I'll want
you to be there
And we'll say hello as
you're smiling in love
And we'll sigh so relieved I believe
because we will both know by
tonight we'll feel normal again
But until then
Until then
Until then

Baby
I spent my life wondering
Wondering when I'd find you
I searched for all these years
and now you're right here
I need you to know that
Everything makes sense when you're with me

Savannah
Walk out into the sultry evening
Cotton breathing when the sea winds
Brush the hair down around your neck

Savannah
You hold my hand like it's the first time
And all the feelings that our hearts find
Will be just what we expect

Yet I know you'll be there
cause you'll know I'll want
you to be there
And we'll say hello as
you're smiling in love
And we'll sigh so relieved I believe
because we will both know by
tonight we'll feel normal again
But until then
Until then
Until then

I love Relient k <3

-ONWARD

droopy gets the girl

Kids these days don't get to watch creative cartoons like these. Thats just sad. Anyway i love droopy :)

-ONWARD

what can i do

This is one of my favourite songs. I miss the corrs.

-ONWARD

2012

Right from the start let me say that i think its unlikely that the world will come to an end in 2012. The movie is almost 3hours long but you don't feel it. Its been beautifully written so that nothing seems like its not suppose to be there. Everything matters. From the crazy charlie to the unreal narrow escapes from danger and destruction.

Since its a newish movie i dont want to spoil it too much but i noticed a strong sony+microsoft presence in the movie. If there's one thing the movie tried to highlight its human sacrifice and the importance of relationships, family. And even though its about the destruction of the world there are a few moments where you can laugh and at least one moment where you might want to look away :)

Overall i will give it a 9/10. Go see it.

-ONWARD

of goals and distractions

Saw this quote and thought it was perfect for this season of exams and this stage of our student life. C. S. Lewis is the best man.

“If we let ourselves, we shall always be waiting for some distraction or other to end before we can really get down to our work. The only people who achieve much are those who want knowledge so badly that they seek it while the conditions are still unfavorable. Favorable conditions never come.”

- C. S. Lewis

(link)

-ONWARD

i am young and free

You know what? I am alive. Can you believe that. Its sad that I don't celebrate that as much as I should but i am alive. Yeah i'm crazy but i dont care. *deep breath* Its time to start living. Enjoying life. Be free. Cut lose. Be outrageous because like the Australian anthem goes, i am young and free so i will rejoice.

ps. if you want to do something crazy but dont want to do it alone, come find me :p but after exams k? onward babay!

-ONWARD

how i met your mother

I love the lyrics to this song.

JustMe - How i met your mother

If you can't take the heat then get out the kiln
The ladies say "oh snap" like Men On Film
And if you don't get that then you're young for real
Because I used to get that for my tongue and grill
I hung and chilled with players, theives, and rhyme sayers
And impresed the women that dressed in less layers
I rocked Nautica, Polo, not to run solo was the mission
Not realizing for what I'm wishing
Hugging and kissing was all in the plans
My old man said "you don't go back to holding hands"
And I realize now, that's true
But that was way before I even thought about you
And I wasn't really

Frightened, I was doing my thang
Had game, got dames, wanted fame, and I wasn't really
Frightened, had no fear of God in me
I was looking up to ballers and rappers with envy, I was
Frightened of being alone
And living my life without spouse and home, I was
Frightened, and that's real for a brother
Here goes the story how I met your mother

When Tiger Woods was at Stanford getting pampered
Women threw their drawers at me like the Laker-girls hamper
But I wasn't doing their math, changed path
Calculated but debated, could it stay in the past?
It was crazy wasn't it? Cut-up wsn't cutting it
What up? to my cousin when I see him in the streets
Found love hidden written on these super-thin sheets
Not the kind that you sleep in, the kind that you read
It was no small feet like the NBA
For me to say "no" when they ask "please stay"
And I can see now, that's grace
I thank God everytime I look at your face 'cause back then I was

Frightened of being stuck with a girl
That didn't want the same things out of this world, I was
Frightened, Had the fear of God in me
I looked up to no other man with envy, I was
Frightened of being alone
And living my life without spouse and home, I was
Frightened, and that's real for a brother
Here goes the story how I met your mother

She worked at Blockbuster and I felt all flustered
For the first couple months, then I got that number
But, failed to use it for lack of a movement
Or transportation, I should say, anyway
Only the lonely relate 'cause when she phoned it was great
Even though I never gave her the digits
She looked it up at work and it made me smirk
The date was set in a matter of minutes
Flirtation, conversation in an IHOP booth
I could tell she's motivated because I sought truth
And you can tell it's all part of God's plan
To bring the right woman once he's made a man, but I was still

Frightened that she wouldn't believe
Take me the wrong way and be deceived, I was
Frightened that I would mess it up
And have to much pride to be fessing up, I was
Frightened of being alone
And living my life without spouse and home, I was
Frightened, and that's real for a brother
Here goes the story how I met your mother

-ONWARD

these imperfections

thanks Ruth for sharing.

-ONWARD

where you go i'll go

By Jesus Culture. Thanks Shellyn for the link.
-ONWARD

stupid belkin router

I try not to complain too much but i seriously can't take it anymore. Since i moved house last year we had been using my old router, a cnet wired router that though old worked very well. It can go for weeks without needing a restart but i had this dream of a wireless home so we got a belkin router.

Just so you know belkin is among on of the most expensive routers you can get. People are drawn to it regardless by their lifetime warranty sort of, kind of makes it worth it. We got the f5d7632-4 model.

It didn't take long for problems to start surfacing. Get this, every night at around 6.30 the router disconnects from the internet and refuses all attempt to get it back online until around 10 or 11. At first i thought it was streamyx screwing with the line, so i spent a few weeks calling them everytime the router disconnects. After trying that for a while it was obvious it was not tm's fault so someone suggested it could be a worm in one of the computers so we tried isolating the computers to see if it really was one of the computers causing the disconnects, that didn't work.

I've tried looking at the belkin website for a new firmware for this model but they don't even have a listing for this particular model. Its like the product never existed. It is obvious its a defective model. I expect them to recall all defective models and replace them with better ones. I've looked at their press releases to see if they did that in the past but nothing.

I am not happy with belkin. I tried to send them an email to express my displeasure but can't find the right one. No use blasting the wrong people. And it appears i'm not alone on this. A quick look at lowyat forums and there are people complaining and advising others not to purchase this model. I just hope that we can return it and get a new model. This makes the second big company that has let me down in terms of service and quality of products. I sure am not getting anything belkin again.

-ONWARD

#messofme

mess of me by switchfoot from their latest album hello hurricane. Find out more.

-ONWARD

vanity

RM 3,399

RM 3,113

RM 899

RM 779

RM 500+


RM 589

Balancing needs and wants.

-ONWARD

some errors

For a long time i have misunderstood a lot of what i read and expect from a christian life. I believe strongly that we reap what we sow and so for a long time i endeavoured to sow only the good things and was some what disappointed when i don't get back. I think that's error 1. Yes it is true that we reap what we sow but that does not mean if i sow enough good things, i create a buffer so that only good things come my way. On the contrary, people who do good things often have evil come their way. I know it sounds crazy. I didn't accept it for a long time but think about it. What right do I have to demand goodness? Who am I? Does being a christian miraculously make me special? Am I immune/exempt from the stuff 'other people' go through? Well this is my opinion, NO!

The only thing that makes a christian seem to be different is how they react to the things life throw at them. We have the bible which we have come to believe as God's word and over time God has shown us that we can trust the bible. And we can trust him. So we hold on to those promises of being delivered from evil but evil will come. I had a friend who broke up with his gf and almost passed out drinking himself to numbness. Christians also deal with breakups and they hurt just as much but the difference is in how they handle it. We don't drink or numb ourselves. We like sheep are helpless stupid creatures that God loves to smother with love and affection if we will only come to him when it hurts and tell him how we feel and what we need. That's the way to deal with it. And therein is the difference.

It is very important that there is that difference because what separates us from 'the others' is not much. We are saved by faith through grace, something we had no effort in.

Now i said we are not special but in God's eyes we are. He values the human soul more than the whole world. So much that he sacrificed something special just to save everyone of us. So yeah, sorry about that. We are special but we have no right to feel like 'the others' are second-class.

Again i thank God for good sermons. Onward baby :)

Father help me to go beyond myself, force me if you have to. Change my heart. You have my permission.

{update}
this is the second time i'm editing this. I think i'm claiming the typo king crown from kenin. blogging tip: read what you write before you publish. It will save you a few embarrassments.

-ONWARD

photojoy

I've decided to start a photography collection of sorts next year God-willing. My aim is not to take the best shot or be professional or compete or anything but just to do what i love. I don't have the discipline to do a 365 like some people but will be shooting on a to-be-determined theme.

thats all ;p

-ONWARD

i love them

Its the 1st of November, in a few weeks we'll be sitting for finals. Its hard to believe another semester is over. Its been a struggle this sem but thank God for everything.

So my mom launches her book tomorrow in church. According to my sister the book is titled dealing with affliction. I know it has been on her mind for years now and finally she can launch it. I just wish i was there with her :) she's really an inspiration to me, and in many ways i wish i can be like her but we are two different people.

There's something i feel whenever i'm around the vcf people, something i've not felt until quite recently. I think it has taken time and a few recent events to make me see that i'm responsible for and to these people. I feel a sense of love? I know i care for each one of them and nothing makes me happier to know that they're alright, fighting their battles and trusting God. I tell you the way they all serve is amazing and thats something i always thank God for.

God bless my brothers and sisters, may your face shine on them, may you be with them through the tough times, let them know that you never leave, that you are always there, that nothing can separate them from your love. Help them realise that we can never be too bad or dirty to come to your presence to ask for forgiveness. And Lord that thing that is pure in them, that love for people and for you, i pray that you increase it. That as we are one family we will make every effort to continue in your love :) thank You father ^^

-ONWARD