i know you love me

I feel a need to express myself freely but I really can't so its hard to go about living a 'normal life' because things have changed and i feel weird. Argggggggggggggggghhh.

I want to rest in your arms Lord, take away this heaviness, give me true joy again. But i resign to let your will be done. I know you love me :) I know you love me.

In a way i like the burden, I like that it draws me closer to you. I like that it liberates me to experience more meaningful relationships, friends, brothers, sisters. I like that i have this burden, in a way. I like that i get to feel your heart, even for a while.

At the cross - Hillsong United - Mighty to save 

Oh Lord You've searched me

You know my way

Even when I fail You

I know You love me

Your holy presence

Surrounding me

In every season

I know You love me

I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee

Where Your blood was shed for me

There no greater love than this

You have overcome the grave

Your glory fills the highest place

What can separate me now

You go before me

You shield my way

Your hand upholds me

I know You love me

You tore the veil

You made a way

When You said that it is done

And when the earth fades

Falls from my eyes

And You stand before me

I know You love me

I know You love me

~shalom~

thank you Father

Got back from the VCF camp last night {sunday night}. The camp was great, lots of fun but the main reason why we went was not lost in all the fun. I must say, atleast for me the highlight of the camp was the talentshow.

We were all divided into groups according to certain bible characters. I was in Noah and we were asked to present some kind of drama or song well naturally we decided a drama was the way to go. I have videos but i'm having trouble uploading them but besides our group i think the drama by Moses was very good. Every team was very creative in the way they presented these bible stories and it made for a really fun time.

thank you Father
For some reason yesterday{monday morning} when i got up to pray i could not help but just say thank You Father for everything. Sometimes i feel this way. I was singing one of my favourite songs by i think its Paul Baloche - offering. There's a line that goes...

I bring an offering of worship to my king
no one on earth deserves the praises that i bring
Jesus may you receive the honor that you're due
Oh Lord I bring an offering to you.

And for some reason those words just hit me real strong, i was thinking here i am in the midst of people who love the Lord, and i was thinking of those people who shared the word of God to me, and how it must have been a struggle sometimes for them because i also go through struggles when it comes to sharing my faith. And how it must have been a sacrifice for them but God used them anyway. And those people who must have been praying for me to be saved, called out God's mercy on this naughty little boy. And here i am... Alvin Slaughter in his song run to you says ...surprised to be loved. The emotions just overwhelmed me, and with tears i just thank God for everything, everything i get to enjoy, every trip, camp, every experience. I like to say God is pure good. :)

Recent event have got me worried, yesterday i got some bad news but i know in all things God works it out for the good of them who love him and as i was just going through some word to help me through this one thing that kept appearing is the love of God especially in Romans 8:35 nothing can s-e-p-a-r-a-t-e us from the love of God, nothing. And that became some kind of help to me. Only a few people understand what i'm talking about and i'll like to keep it that way but all i can say is pray for your friends. God can do anything.

pictures time

first thing i saw in the toilet was this little bugger.


signpost


Noah


Jeremy, Kelly, and someone


Remember i said we had games? This was one of them. We came first in these games


LOok at all the food we had to eat


Li ai and there he is again!


We had to cross this river to get to the other side where the cave is.


my first time on a boat. Look how scared ooja was.


the other end of the boat.


we took the wrong turn at some point in the journey but this sign was reassuring


even though it was raining, they kept singing all the way


that explains alot


after walking for hours we came here and the path was under construction


they were selling drinks and some crafts.

The camp committee decided it was not safe to go through the path under construction so we did a fun thing; walk back.


this is an alternative path but its longer and they say mud can get up to your knees. We passed.


we got back and guess what we did.


eating


my room


they spelt my name wrong, where got L?


my roomies


look at all the cool people with cool t-shirts. At this point we were getting ready to leave.


no we didn't have the camp in the bush, we just had to stop.

I can't possibly post all the pictures i took here. Well actually i could but it would get very long but you can look at some more over at my flickr page. Or to get another perspective of the camp try this one.

I really thank God for my phone, it made the camp more fun, and i could share with y'all.

~shalom~

batu niah camp

I'm going away on a camp tomorrow for the weekend. We'll be going to niah cave, my first cave experience in miri and in malaysia.

I dont really like caves, they're cold and they have bats and insects and other creepy things. But i hope we won't be spending alot of time in the cave. I really look forward to having fun and fellowship with people.

So thats about it, will update with pictures when i get back.

~shalom~

free2be amplified

Wah what a week. For three nights Miri has been on fire. Chris long was in town with his family for a youth rally at the Miri indoor stadium: free2be Amplified.

Its actually organised by the scripture union but involved alot of the churches around miri, kind of like what happens for nights of fire in Kuching.

I thank God for the opportunity to be a part of the meeting. Was able to go for all three nights and for the most part i was right in front of the crowd just to make sure they stayed organised and for the most part they were except for a few naughty ones who were too excited.

The first night saw over a 100 first time decisions for christ with close to 2000 young people in attendance. It was just amazing.







No price for guessing what song is playing at this time. We had alot of fun :)

~shalom~

changes

I feel like it is time to talk. Suddenly I don't know how to start.

I believe everything that happens to happens for a reason, and through it all God's plans and purposes are being fulfilled one way or the other. And even though it hurts, His ways are always better than ours and He's way smarter than me, than us.

Can We Be Friends?

2yrs and a few months of life changing experiences with someone very special, very unique in more ways than one ended with a few tears and alot of thinking. I want to say outright there are things in me that God has revealed to me through this that I wouldn't have taken seriously before.

I want to thank her for sharing her life with me, being very bold to love someone like me, its not easy at all but she did her best for that i'm everly grateful to God but now I'm thanking God for friends. 

How Are You Now?

Many of you will be asking. Well besides a lingering cough i'm very good. Gone past the point of hoping things to change and get back to the way it used to be. I think if God wants He can do anything but for me, I want to be confident, and satisfied with who I am and where I'm heading no matter what happens.

The Obvious

Did i make a mistake? Yeah! Did we make a mistake for two years, was the relationship a mistake? I dont believe so. Though if i had to do it all over again there are obvious things i would like to change. But this was my shot at it and just to clear anything, i'm not searching, kind of liking just hanging out with friends :)

~shalom~