bless my family

When i left nigeria not everyone was at home. I was missing a sister, she was away in school so i didn't get to say goodbye. Now i've been talking to her quite often since then but today she miss-called me. I didnt see it until this morning and i didnt call back until just now. 

Its been a long time, i see her pictures on fb and she's all grown up. Sometimes i just miss being the big brother, taking care of them, buying them stuff or just letting them criticize my choice of clothes. I remember we were going out once and they laughed at my pair of shorts, they were my favourite but by their standard it wouldn't do so i was compelled to go change.

i miss them la. heard my sister is going back in june. I wish i can be back too to see my mom whose birthday was last wednesday. She wants to celebrate her 50th in a big way :) I wouldn't want to miss that.

I was nice talking to her again. You know how parents have a 'favourite' child, she's probably my favourite sister. Not that i don't love the rest just that.... you know, can't explain it. I feel i'm closer to her than the others. 

Father bless my family, and keep them safe and sound, happy and glad, joyful and healthy, make their ways prosper and open doors of blessings for them. Let them shine your light and reflect your goodness. And prepare our reunion one day, make it special. Thank you Father.

~shalom~

i trust you

Anime soundtracks are the best. Currently my favourite is this one from Yuna Ito. Its from the season 2 of Gundam 00. Sadly next week will be the last episode in the current season, can't wait but then i'll have nothing to watch on mondays :( anyway enjoy this one.

English translation

Flowers sway in the wind as if dancing
So that the rain moistens the earth
Even though this world is alive, coming closer together
Why do people hurt each other?
Why do partings come about?

Even if you go far away, still
You're always right in the middle of my heart
While they remain buried away by that kind smile
Even if I feel pain
In fragments of you that I held, because we'll still connect
I trust that we can meet again
I'm waiting for your love

I love you, I trust you
I want you to share your loneliness with me
I love you, I trust you
Even in light, even in darkness, because we're together
We're able to trust each other
Please don't leave anymore

Who saw the edge of the world?
Who announces the end of the journey?
Even if it's a long night and you can't see the answer now
I want you to advance on the road that you trusted
Because light is waiting ahead of there

The song that you taught me
Is right in the middle of my heart even now
The overflowing drops of feelings
That are resonating together with that kind voice
Warmly trail down my cheeks
I'll become strong; I trust that we're connected
I'm always by your side

I love you, I trust you
These tears keep flowing because of you
I love you, I trust you
You taught me what love was
No matter how you're lost on the road
I'm by your side

Waiting for your love
Always by your side
Youre the one that I love
Youre the one that I trust
Youre the only one

I love you, I trust you
I want you to share your loneliness with me
I love you, I trust you
Even in light, even in darkness
I love you, I trust you
Even in sorrow, even in joy
I love you, I trust you
I want to protect all of you

No matter how you're lost on the road
I'm by your side; we're able to trust each other
Please don't leave anymore

~shalom~

lemme outta here

When i think of the amount of work i have to do this sem i just feel like screaming, or crying or just running. I know, compared to most people its not much and i dont want to complain. I know that it is in these kind of situations where God likes to work to show us that He is mighty to save haha. True or not?

I don't want to complain or be freightened, {guess whats playing now? Trust in the lord by sixpence none the richer} but i know that God can see me through all the busyness and help me plan my time and make those sacrifices that i need to make to go through this sem successfully.

I know i can make it

I know i can stand

No matter what may come my way

My life is in your hands :)

~shalom~

seven pounds

Before i say anything i must say that its not a good idea to commit suicide no matter the circumstances. You cannot pay for your sins with your life. You will go to hell, literally.

This movie on the surface is a nice movie about a man trying to seek redemption for the choices he has made and the life he lived, for the mistakes he has made and on the surface it looks like a man trying to save people, he looks like a good man, a nice man but his motives however well crafted are sinister. 

Why such strong language? Because stealing, impersonating, deceiving, and self righteousness will get nobody no where. When people look at his life post transformation they will say what a man, it ends with him, they will be grateful for his 'good' deeds and they will honor him for what he has done. They will forget the hurt he left, the relationships he has neglected, ignores, the broken heart. What good is a heart if your hope if deferred?

No matter what happens we have someone who has already paid the price for all the evil we have done or will perpertuate in our lives and thats Jesus. He died so that we can have life and have it in abundance. We don't need to pay for our sins because they have been paid for. It doesn't matter how grave the evil. 

However its not wrong giving hope to those who need it. Its not wrong to donate your organs for those who are in need. Its not wrong to give your heart away, its not wrong to give everything you have lived for to some stranger. It is wrong to think that doing all these things will somehow go to pay for your mistake.

I'm sorry for being so strong but it has to be said. And in case you're wondering the name seven pounds was taken from the shakespeare's The Merchant Of Venice, in which a debtor must pay a pound of flesh. In this case it amounts to parts of Tim's body donated to seven persons deemed worthy by his judgment. They are the recipients of his heart, a lung, part of his liver, and his eyes, among other things. And jelly fish are dangerous.

3/10

~shalom~

alpha experience

Yesterday we had our first alpha gathering under vcf. Its not the first time alpha has been run in curtin, last sem the anglican students ran one and my church ran one as well. But this time VCF (Varsity Christian Fellowship) is running one for those who are new to the Christian faith or those curious.

The organisation and planning has not been good. I think we did most of the things last minute. I was really scared that we were just going to watch the video alone but God is good la. When we are not able, or prepared, He is more than able and will do things His way.

For the first gathering we had 11 people which is just enough for the 6 of us. 3 girls and 2 guys. And people you think are Christians just are not, or have questions about the Christian faith that you would not expect. I mean these are your friends, you hang out with them and they seem to fall into place. Seem ok.

Some of the questions were tough la. But as the moderator i didnt get involved with the speaking, i just asked the questions. As usual i was setting up the computer and making sure the videos worked ok. I guess i always find myself in this position.

Thank God for using us to do his work la. I really am not worthy to do these things but He is merciful enough to ask me to join in His work. You know sometimes we look at ourselves and don't see anything good in us. We see all the failures, shortcomings, weaknesses, things we cannot do but God just uses all that and does a beautiful work. Thank You God :)

~shalom~

one step at a time

Lately its like ODB has been talking straight to me, seems like God personally teaching me things these few days. I like today's one about making the right choice and taking steps to do what you have to do.

So often we hope our lives change through a significant leap of faith, a profound decision, or a significant act of service. In reality the only way we change is one step at a time and every step counts.

~shalom~

thank God for the welcoming celebration

I've not updated for a while, its not intentional its just that there doesn't seem to be anything to write about. 

Next week is week 4 already, i still have a lot of reading to do, haven't really gotten to the full swing of school life yet, still seem very relaxed when i shouldn't be. 

We just had our welcoming celebration for vcf (Varsity Christian Fellowship) at taman awam and i just want to thank God for everyone who came, turned up, signed. There were a few new faces and i hope we will continue to see them.

Some times i feel like i'm not doing my job. I should be out there socialising but i hold back. Dunno why. Its hard for me to keep a conversation going. I really have to think of what to say especially for people i totally don't know and more especially if they're girls. I don't know when i will overcome all these obstacles. I believe that people who are under the influence of God will change with time to reflect more of the attributes that God has. I dunno if i'm changing, makes me worry. 

Ok la, i'm quite tired already want to sleep.

~shalom~

two reasons to get a psp

I've always wanted a psp for the longest time, maybe just as long as i've wanted a mac but i think the psp is closer to my grasps than a mac but anyway i have two compelling reasons to get one in the form of two amazing fun games


Loco Roco


Patapon

~shalom~

reconnect

For some time now i've been going through some old notes and this is one of them. I don't quite remember where i wrote this, if it was in church or somewhere else but its in my book and i want to share.

• Be still and listen to the voice of God (ps 46:10)
• Pause from a hectic schedule to be refreshed in spirit (ps 42:1-2)
• Interrupt the day to do a spiritual inventory and be cleansed (ps 51:1-10)
• Accentuate the joy of God's provision through thanks giving (ps 65:9-13)
• Exalt the name of God for answered prayers in spite of disappointments (ps 40:1-3)
• End the day by reflecting on the Lord's faithfulness (ps 119:148)

I think i need to be more conscious and do more of these things.

~shalom~

hope

When i think of hope the first thing that comes into my mind is the obama campaign poster.

Yeah this one. But the hope i'm talking about is the one the bible. I was going to try to explain it but my bible does a better job, check this out.

"Hope"

In English, the word hope implies contingency. But Biblical "hope" is not a "hope-so hope" (ie not wishful thinking about something good happening in the future); rather, it is a "know-so hope," a confidence from God concerning his promises. It is sure because it is based on the integrity of God's Word. We will experience the reality of hope because God is "the God of hope" (ie the object and assurance of our hope, Romans 15.13).

See i told you. There's no way i could have come up with something like that. But its true. People make the mistake of thinking when we say hope, we mean hope-so. I've had this discussion before with my friend who didnt understand and i didnt really understand at the time and her point made sense but the more i think about it the more i realise they're different. If someone says i hope so means they're not sure. Say you ask someone;

You: are you going to pass your exams?

Them: hope so...

It doesn't sound confident right. Ok compare this with this.

You: are you going to pass your exams?

Them: Yes.

What do you think? Yeah i know sometimes people say things they don't mean but there are times when you write an exam and you know without a doubt its a done deal. That is the hope of a bible. Its more like faith. I have this beautiful quote about faith.

Faith never gives up. It knows that despite appearances, all is well.

(Madam Guyon)

I've been rather confused lately, i think a lot lately and there's fear in my heart. I dunno quite what it is, if its a phase or of God wants to teach me something but in my heart there is a hope that all will be well. That this season will pass and it will be spring again. 

Photo credit http://www.flickr.com/photos/a35mmlife

~shalom~

thoughts on gundam

I've been watching gundam 00 for the past few days and i really like it especially now that bleach is going off in {in my opinion} unnecessary tangents.

Its about war and the ideal of one man to eradicate war everywhere on earth by attacking nations that have a military agenda. At first its all innocent and no one really gets hurt but then the story gets very personal and the fighting does not really seem to yield any good except breed even more war and accelerate the development of more dangerous and sophisticated weapons of war with the aim also to eradicated war but by subduing rebel groups and those that are against the UN-like federated government forces and chief on the list is a group of trouble makers who with their gundams and a brilliant war strategist have given the rest of the war making world something to fight about.

Season 1 saw the emergence of these gundams with special abilities that at the time surpassed the world's best defense systems intervening in war torn countries and territories to achieve its goals albeit in an unconventional, forceful way that won them both allies and enemies. The pilots for these gundams were chosen by a computer system, veda which also sought out targets and gave information necessary to complete missions. It was a critical part of celestial being's arsenal as they even control the gundams but somehow this system was infiltrated and its information was manipulated by those who call themselves the innovators. They believe they are the future, when all humans have destroyed themselves in war and division they will reign as superior beings without the flaws of these humans. They believe it was all part of the plan to eradicate war yet were always at odds with the motives and goals of celestial being.

With season 2 things got very personal. The war had touched so many lives that everyone must take a side to either become a rebel or be a government force with their questionable methods. The season revealed the reason why the pilots that engage each other in these battles do what they do.

For Setsuna fighting is all he knows and after fighting all his life he has about had enough of all the wars and is drawn by the ideology of celestial being to stop all wars and lead the way to peace. Funny enough the way they chose to do this is to fight some more. He has lost everything, his homeland, his family and hence has nothing else to lose yet after an encounter with marina he questions his motives.

For saji its a chance to get back to louise, the love of his life who has joined the fed forces' A-Laws on a revenge mission to eradicate celestial being after gundams attacked her family and destroyed everything she had. Blessed with wealth and fueled by hate she quickly rises up the ranks funding and fighting the assault on celestial being. Through a series of unfortunate events he has found himself with celestial being through setsuna who was his strange neighbour. After sitting on the fence and allowing his selfish actions cause the death of so many he is almost at the point of realising that you are either with the A-Laws or with the rebels. He has as everyone else experience personal loss because of the intervention of celestial being and so has his grudges and does not subscribe to their ideology.

There are others with their own personal vendetta but this is a war fueled by anger, revenge, a sense of loss and duty to which ever side one pledges allegiance to. Hearts are torn apart, lives are lost, the reality of war and the irony of its eradication.

When you think of it, you can't help but seek a solution, one that is different from that offered by the writers of the story. You kind of wonder what happened to "...a soft answer turns away anger..."? Its interesting the solutions that the bible offers to conflicts and how they require humility yet how effective and unconventional they are. War cannot be eradicated by more fighting no matter the goal because all it breeds is hatred and where there is hatred there is rebellion.

We all are at war also. Some of us are like saji, living in denial, not willing to accept that he has to take a side, seeking to be neutral from all the killing. Yet some of us are like setsuna, resolute and focused. Knowing he has the tools to do what is right in his heart and giving his all to accomplish his ultimate goal.

~shalom~