Hunger passes

So my mom sends me a few books on relationships and i know she's worried she cannot give me advice at this stage in my life but i think she'll be surprised at what i already know and have been through. I guess she still thinks i'm her nice little boy.

The book has been nice, i initially didnt want to read it because I actually thought she was over-reacting but i guess she's a mom and i can't make her worry less, all i can do is cause her to have less reasons to worry about me. I've not been a very good son of late.

Oh yeah back to the book. Ah it basically talks about the hunger of feeling loved and having something dear, someone you can call your own and how we make mistakes if we are not careful. Sometimes its just best to wait of God and allow him to give us his best at his time. It can be difficult especially when everyone around you seems to be hooking up with someone and its easy to feel what about me? When? Well Michelle {the author of the book. Yes its a lady} says to focus of God and know that he truly loves you and has your best interest at heart.

I remember when I was starting out on my relationship, pastor cheli jokingly asked me..."seems like you really like x" and i said maybe, and i still remember what he said, seek God first. At that time i didn't really want to consider that option because i was scared God will say wait but somehow we went ahead and met a lot of struggles and difficulties that have shaped our lives and made us who we are now, stronger more understanding. But some of the heartaches would have been avoided. I always say this, if i had to do it all over again i'll still choose her but not so soon. I guess i was so excited to have my first ever gf that i didn't want anything to mess it up.

Now looking back i think God is now saying, ok you tried that now let me show you a better way. Its scary letting go but I once trusted God with my future and my everything and he has always been faithful but somehow i strayed and put my trust in other things. This time he's taking back what belongs to him and every other thing will have to give.

I'm no more scared or worried I believe in Him and i trust him to give me the best and i want to follow him with all my strength and see where this all leads. I believe God restores all the years that have been misused but in my life especially i need to be more focused on him and not let other things take that special place in my life that only Him can occupy. Its really important.

So what now? My focus, direction in life have shifted. My goals are different now and i really want to try new things and allow His word to change my life, slowly or rapidly. I won't struggle anymore. You got me Lord! Your move.

~shalom~