change

The older we get the more bent on our ways we become, in other words it gets increasingly difficult to change.

There are a lot of things in my life i would like to change, like having more discipline and acting more responsively but its really difficult to just will it and do it. I guess thats where the discipline comes.

Sometimes change comes when something drastic happens in our lives. Like when saul met Jesus on his way to damascus and his whole life was completely changed without his consent.

Sometimes i wish something like that would happen to me, course me to change and redefine my life forever. I seriously need to let go of a lot of things and embrace the possibilities of the new whatever they may be, something new la.

Was talking to someone at the bus stop the other day and she was going on about how she wants to quit her studies because its not fun. And i felt i sounded old when i said, life is only fun when you are young, the older you get the more difficult life becomes and thus less fun, and she admitted, i'm young. Poor thing, she's only 17 and wants to quit school. I'm not being judgemental or anything but the conversation made me realise how critical and over realistic i have become and how things are no more just one sided. All sides needs to be considered.

Increasingly i'm having to draw more of God's strength and wisdom to do my work and to live a more sensible life because i want to change and I need his help to cause all the changes in my life that i desire. Besides all that i can't really do anything without his help.

Father i just want to give my best, i dont want to struggle with some of the old things anymore, i need you. Help me be brave, help me be strong, help me be courageous. Thank you Lord :)

~shalom~