For the past few days I've been meaning to write something but nothing comes to mind. Its like when you're trying to remember someone's name and its at the tips of your tongue yet you cannot articulate it. The brain knows it, you can visualize them in your mind but cannot not utter their name. So close, yet so far.
I'm still relying in my celcom broadband dongle for internet, the slow poke folks at streamyx have not come to fix our internet connection yet so my online presence has been suffering. I have over 60 facebook game requests to respond to and I can't do it until I get real internet.
My external monitor has been fixed. They had to change the motherboard, its a good thing its still under warranty. Once you get used to large screens you really can't go back. With no internet I've been watching and re-watching old movies, series and anime and quite frankly its getting old.
My mornings are spent studying until lunch time, when I switch gears and try to catch up on the news or just read articles online and then my evening are pretty much free. I hardly leave the house except for when I run out of food, or on sundays for church.
This evening I decided to watch Lord of the Rings again and paused it for a while to read the wikipedia article on C.S. Lewis, who wrote the three books that have be made into movies. I really admire C.S. Lewis, or Jack as his friends call him. He is a brilliant writer and reading his wikipedia entry I discovered that he was friends with J.R.R. Tolkein who wrote the Chronicles of Narnia, among other books. Tolkein was one of the influences in Jack's life that made him convert from being an atheist to a christian.
Its amazing the effect people can have on each other. Its like having someone's perfume rob off on you leaving a small piece of them behind. My prayer is to be an instrument. Big or small, prime or subsidiary, if only an instrument, that's enough for me.
I came across this verse this evening and it blessed me:
Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.
Roman 4:20,21
I believe.
-ONWARD!
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Friday, April 13, 2012
make allowances
Its been over a week now since I returned to Miri. I came back to find my guitar sort of broken, my internet disconnected and my external monitor not working. Not a way to start off the week let me tell you. So the first week was spent fixing things but not having my usual setup made me read more. I've already gone through two of Haruki Murakami's books and almost at the end of 'To kill a mocking bird'. And I've been listening to more music and surprised to discover there are really nice songs in my collection. Its great to be back though. I never think I could say this a few years ago but I miss Miri when I'm not here. There's something about this city that has grown on me.
Last week was great, got to go for the VCF bible camp at Lambir. This is my second time in Lambir, the first time I almost drowned but this time I had good sense to stay out of the water. But it was a great experience. You would think that will all the camps I've attended in my lifetime it will be like a 'been there done that' thing but it wasn't. It was different though. There was a time when I was just a participant and went along with what was already planned but now I'm involved in some of the execution. I thank God for Aaron who invited me to go. It was kind of a last minute thing and I was reluctant at first but gave in eventually. VCF is very special to me and even though I felt a bit left out it was still special to be able to lead a small group and share the gospel.
I had an interesting conversation with Pastor Lim of Piasau Baptist Church, he asked me of my plans when I go back home and I told him, and then he asked if I had considered starting a new work and I have not considered it at all because well, I know how hard it is to do something like that and my brief stint at leadership has left its mark on me. Its not for me. At least not for now, maybe in the future things will change but its an interesting point he brings up. There's a natural progression of things and what he said is that if you are faithful with little, more responsibility will be given to you and its something I know but not something I make allowances for, plan for, expect and anticipate. But its worth looking at.
-ONWARD!
Last week was great, got to go for the VCF bible camp at Lambir. This is my second time in Lambir, the first time I almost drowned but this time I had good sense to stay out of the water. But it was a great experience. You would think that will all the camps I've attended in my lifetime it will be like a 'been there done that' thing but it wasn't. It was different though. There was a time when I was just a participant and went along with what was already planned but now I'm involved in some of the execution. I thank God for Aaron who invited me to go. It was kind of a last minute thing and I was reluctant at first but gave in eventually. VCF is very special to me and even though I felt a bit left out it was still special to be able to lead a small group and share the gospel.
I had an interesting conversation with Pastor Lim of Piasau Baptist Church, he asked me of my plans when I go back home and I told him, and then he asked if I had considered starting a new work and I have not considered it at all because well, I know how hard it is to do something like that and my brief stint at leadership has left its mark on me. Its not for me. At least not for now, maybe in the future things will change but its an interesting point he brings up. There's a natural progression of things and what he said is that if you are faithful with little, more responsibility will be given to you and its something I know but not something I make allowances for, plan for, expect and anticipate. But its worth looking at.
-ONWARD!
Sunday, April 08, 2012
its a damn good one
Its April. I was just catching up on desperate housewives, I’m up to episode 18 of season 8 and its getting really interesting. But for some reason after watching, I was just thinking about the VCF camp I’ll be attending and how I came to be a part of VCf and leaving Kuching for Miri and staying longer than I was expecting and I was feeling very sad at the way things have turned out. But many wonderful things have happened all the times I’ve been here. I remember how hard it was for me to leave Kuching, It was like living home again. I was scared I wouldn’t find the kind of family I had in kuching but before I knew it, I was surrounded with people who looked different but had a familiarity to them. I was with family again. I remember all the times we spent together doing all kinds of crazy stuff, breakfast at 4 in the morning at Lutong, weekend drives to town for some real food. Barbecues for no reason other than its been a while since we last had one and all the while studying and having bible study every week. Like I said, crazy.
Sure there’s a lot of sadness, seeing friends leave, stuff like that… but it will be a real shame to focus on just that and leave out the best part. I realize I have to choose how I remember my time here, with fondness or with regret and despite everything, I am grateful for my time here. I cherish every moment, both good and bad because they make me who I am today. Pressure is a part of live, chicks crack a hard shell to come out, diamonds get that way because of the earth’s pressure, plants push through soil to get to the light. Without the hard things, we don’t appreciate the little things. I love all my scars. They tell my story, and it’s a damn good one.
-ONWARD!
Sure there’s a lot of sadness, seeing friends leave, stuff like that… but it will be a real shame to focus on just that and leave out the best part. I realize I have to choose how I remember my time here, with fondness or with regret and despite everything, I am grateful for my time here. I cherish every moment, both good and bad because they make me who I am today. Pressure is a part of live, chicks crack a hard shell to come out, diamonds get that way because of the earth’s pressure, plants push through soil to get to the light. Without the hard things, we don’t appreciate the little things. I love all my scars. They tell my story, and it’s a damn good one.
-ONWARD!
Monday, March 26, 2012
if I kill myself, do i go to heaven?
I was going through my delicious feed and found a from one of the people I follow and followed it through to read the article because its something I've always wondered about and the thoughts expressed about people who commit suicide made sense but I don't know if I agree. It also doesn't help that the person who wrote this article did not provide bible verses to support his (lets just go with his for simplicity) argument.
Personally I think if you kill yourself you are committing murder even if its on yourself. And no murderers will make it to heaven. Its an interesting read, something to think about. And if you have thoughts on this, find me on facebook or @mario64 on twitter.
In other news my mom just turned 50 and I'm bummed I can't be there with her but happy for her. She's a gem.
-ONWARD!
Personally I think if you kill yourself you are committing murder even if its on yourself. And no murderers will make it to heaven. Its an interesting read, something to think about. And if you have thoughts on this, find me on facebook or @mario64 on twitter.
In other news my mom just turned 50 and I'm bummed I can't be there with her but happy for her. She's a gem.
-ONWARD!
Sunday, March 18, 2012
she called me family
A while ago I shared something deeply personal to someone I have known for a while an respect thoroughly. And its not something I will normally do, being a very reserved person but I was compelled to due to the nature of our relationship. Don't get excited.
I guess it bears mentioning that she, yes, she is also a christian and I have known her for years and today as I got the response to the email I sent it made me reflect a bit about what she said. Without going through everything she said, she basically called me family. Now i'm not an orphan or homeless or anything, I have a family and I love every one of my sisters, my brother and parents. But this other family is different. I won't say its something I send a lot of time trying to cultivate, maybe I do and just don't know it or won't admit it. In any case it is rather special.
This is one of the things I love about the community of people who believe in and follow Jesus. I've had this same experience in school being part of the VCF, meeting people for the first time, getting to know them and within weeks it feels like we've known each other for longer than in reality. Its very special but not unique. You can get this kind of feeling, in other organisations, other groups, basically get people together in one team to work on a goal and these things form because they spend a lot of time together. While its not unique in its occurrence, its unique in the depth of the bonds that are formed. When someone considers you as part of a 'christian family' its an affirmation that runs much deeper, the depths of which we may never discover.
Thank God for families.
-ONWARD!
I guess it bears mentioning that she, yes, she is also a christian and I have known her for years and today as I got the response to the email I sent it made me reflect a bit about what she said. Without going through everything she said, she basically called me family. Now i'm not an orphan or homeless or anything, I have a family and I love every one of my sisters, my brother and parents. But this other family is different. I won't say its something I send a lot of time trying to cultivate, maybe I do and just don't know it or won't admit it. In any case it is rather special.
This is one of the things I love about the community of people who believe in and follow Jesus. I've had this same experience in school being part of the VCF, meeting people for the first time, getting to know them and within weeks it feels like we've known each other for longer than in reality. Its very special but not unique. You can get this kind of feeling, in other organisations, other groups, basically get people together in one team to work on a goal and these things form because they spend a lot of time together. While its not unique in its occurrence, its unique in the depth of the bonds that are formed. When someone considers you as part of a 'christian family' its an affirmation that runs much deeper, the depths of which we may never discover.
Thank God for families.
-ONWARD!
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