what is wrong with us

Just this week alone thanks to facebook i've known of at least three of my friends who broke up. I tend to have a deja vu moment everytime it happens, and knowing the feelings and thoughts going through their minds, my heart goes out to them.

At the same time its worrying how many people hook up and break up? What's missing? Why is it so difficult to maintain a longlasting committment? Why are there so many of these things? Where are the role models? What mistakes are we making? How can we make things better?

I truely believe that a christian relationship should be different. Not in the sense that there are no fights. Fights are sometimes good because they strip away every pretence and the real person appears. Its also a good way to make adjustments for each other, to avoid what you should avoid or do more of what you are neglecting. So in the sense that two people who are emotionally involved have fights that is due to differences that can be resolved granted both parties are willing to give and take aka compromise, fights are good. But fights can be destructive and depending on your temperament things can be said in the heat of an argument that will hurt and you can't take back words once they are spoken.

For any relationship to stand i think at the core of it must be a desire and a committment first to God because like it or not, He is the one that ties everything together. If you don't have him in the center, everything will collapse. If you don't know the love of God, how can you truely love someone else? If you don't love yourself, you can't love someone else. If you are not secure with who you are as a person, and accept the fact that God loves you unconditionally then you will go around looking for someone to make you feel loved and accepted and thats how sometimes we get into the wrong relationships.

I don't claim to be an authority on relationships but there are things that i have observed and experienced myself and i am just expressing my opinions here so if you don't agree with them its totally fine. I just want to see people fall in love with someone they know in their hearts is the right one, get married and live very long lives together. That is so beautiful.

exemplo, originally uploaded by corbata1982.

When i see a picture like this i just break down inside because i don't know if i will ever experience this kind of life. Not the kissing la but two people who have shared most of their lives together and they have apart. Its something that is good, and i'm sure God likes that.

I know its hard, but i would not encourage people to get involved with anyone when they are still quite young because a relationship is serious. It could tear people apart, create deep hurts and other nasty stuff. We are talking about real people, their lives, their emotions, and most times their future.

I wouldn't want to close without saying this. We all come from different backgrounds and we all express ourselves differently. And we all make mistakes and i believe in a real relationship we are all learning to be better people not just for that special someone but ultimately because of the kind of relationship we have, it changes who we are and makes us hopefully better than who we were and the cost of that is a lot of patience, forgiveness and understanding to let each other learn and grow.

Let make relationships that will last. Do it for the next generation.
~shalom~