week one

I hope i will have the discipline to be able to document my week here but so far this week has revealed some of the things i will be expecting this semester. One thing for sure is that its going to be a really busy semester on all fronts.

My new house has no internet at the moment but that should be fixed in the coming weeks.

I find that there's nothing much to blog about anymore. I don't want this blog to die, I really enjoy blogging but its just not happening at the moment.

I guess one thing i would like to share that i feel God has been letting me know about through different people and that is the need to look out of myself and see the needs of others. Its easy to get all caught up with whats happening with you that you fail to see that someone else is hurting needs a friend or just simple lonely. And other thing i learned from Joshua is that, all the while he was leading the people of Israel, he trusted God completely and God knew who he was. You will find all though the book God reassuring him, be strong and courageous, I have given the enemy to you or something along those lines.

It got me thinking, God knows my weaknesses. There are areas of my life that i cannot change and there are other areas that i can change and I guess he expects me to know the difference and to trust him.

Indeed when you look at your problems they seem so big but when you look to God they become puny in comparison. Just felt like sharing that ;)

~shalom~

ah..nvm

Nothing to blog about. Well except that i'm in miri, been meeting up with friends, its good to see everyone...well almost everyone back. School starts monday :(

~shalom~

twenty-four

My new fav song from switchfoot - twenty four

Twenty-four oceans
Twenty-four skies
Twenty-four failures
And twenty-four tries
Twenty-four finds me
In twenty-fourth place
With twenty-four drop outs
At the end of the day

Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty-four hours ago
Still I'm singing 'Spirit,
take me up in arms with You'
And I'm not who I thought I was
Twenty-four hours ago
Still I'm singing 'Spirit,
take me up in arms with You'

There's twenty-four reasons
To admit that I'm wrong
With all my excuses
Still twenty-four strong

See, I'm not copping out
Not copping out Not copping out
When you're raising the dead in me

Oh, oh
I am the second man
Oh, oh
I am the second man now
Oh,
I am the second man now
And you're raising these...

Twenty-four voices
With twenty-four hearts
All of my symphonies
In twenty-four parts
But I want to be one today
Centered and true
I'm singing 'Spirit take me up in arms with You'
You're raising the dead in me

Oh, oh
I am the second man
Oh, oh
I am the second man now
Oh
I am the second man now
And you're raising the dead in me
Yeah

I wanna see miracles
To see the world change
Wrestled the angel for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I'm singing 'Spirit, take me up in arms with You'
And you're raising the dead in me

Twenty-four oceans
With twenty-four hearts
All of my symphonies
With twenty-four parts
Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty-four hours ago
Still I'm singing 'Spirit,
take me up in arms with You'
I'm not copping out
Not copping out

Beautiful, period.

~shalom~

pressure

I feel pressure on every side, mom, dad, life. Sometimes i wish i can just run away from it all but no la. I stopped running away a long time ago. Instead i remember what joyce meyer said about pressure ...keep pressing against the pressure that is pressing against you. And thats the only way to live, thats the only way that works for me.

We were meant to live for so much more. Difficulties are opportunities for God to show his love, faithfulness and strength if we run to him.

Its interesting because i've been reading about the faithfulness of God in Isaiah and Joshua and how God promised Joshua to be with him as He was with Moses if Josh will obey him, keep with words and commandments and be strong and courageous.

Be Strong and Courageous
I remember a season in my life where it didn't matter where I turned, i would hear people say this to me and i was so overwhelmed and frankly didn't know what to make of it except to say that i'm trying, i'm trying.

O-tou san, I can't carry the weight on my head alone. Frankly i don't know what to do, which path to take but I trust you. You've always guided my path. Arigato o-tou san.

~shalom~

perceptions

For someone like me who doesn't talk much, I rely a lot on my observation skills and basically that is how i build a mental profile about someone. If i think its worth my time talking to them or getting to know them - this happens most of the times not all of the time.

I find that over time this has become a problem because i will refuse to relate with 'certain people' just because of the mental assessment that i have done on them. This is something God is challenging me to look at and work at. Its not easy for me because i'm not very socail so if I make close personal bonds with people, I like to keep it. Sometimes its not always successful and its a pain when that happens but there's nothing you can do.

The life of Jesus is just so perfect and like we were discussing last saturday, Jesus modeled a life that he expects us to follow. His time was spent with people and alone with God. And it doesnt matter who the people are, he treated everyone as equals, in the same level. No one felt left out which is an outstanding feat.

Certainly if i am a follower of Jesus then shouldn't my life reflect his life? Shouldn't I be doing the same? Is there really any distinction between people? The bible says judge not and you will not be judged and really my place is to love the people God has put in my path whether they are nice to me or not. I just obey in the area that I am asked to and let God worry about the results. It really releases a load of burden off your shoulders.

Perceptions
How would you react if you knew something about someone that you didn't know before? How would it change the way you look at that person? Is there judgement? I certainly have gone through this, and yes there is judgement and resentment. For my case this person lost all credibility in my heart for what he did and well i dont want to go into that but yeah if i may throw the question out, what do you think?

~shalom~

Germans and beds

This is just too funny to pass up.



~shalom~

Amy forced me to do this tag thing again

So when you get tagged, you have to respond to it and tag others.

LIST OUT THE TOP 5 PRESENTS YOU WISH FOR:
1. Return ticket to my home town, no not kuching.
2. Macbook pro
3. 19" flatscreen monitor
4. Psp
5. Ipod touch

LIST OUT THE REASONS FOR YOUR CHOICES:
1. I miss my mummy
2. Is the best computer you can buy today.
3. Bigger is better
4. I've always wanted a psp but the price is not dropping :(
5. Best Ipod on the market today

WHO TAGGED YOU:
Amy

5 IMPRESSIONS OF HIM/HER:
1. Responsible
2. Dedicated
3. Fussy, sometimes
4. Good leader
5. Nice.

I know i need to tag someone but i'm lazy la.

Almost there

My holiday is coming to an end. Its been an eventful three months. I enjoyed most of it. Its funny you know, I came back on a sunday. and straight away went to church because no one was at home. And within a week I found myself waking up early to work with simon, sam and leslie. Yeah it was a good time working with them. I especially liked mornings when we did the devotions, going through the book of Luke and later Acts.

Soon it was time to plan for the Salt and Light camp. There was a lot of details to look at and prepare for but God took control la. Everything went well and the camp had a good effect on most of our lives. But even there things were quite busy. There's a difference between being in a place where you just receive or enjoy the unseen works of others and being among those who are responsible for making things work.

Salt and Light also saw restoration in my life for which I am thankful to God. We fall down but we get up and you know the bible says a just man will fall seven times and will surely get up each time. Its ok to make mistakes but we always have a price to pay la, thats unreconcilable. But God is a good God, forever :) He is pure Good.

Soon after the camp was the carolling. I just thank God for the opportunity to be a part of it. It was a success and I hear there are more offers for next year. And then ICCTS came along, and this time again I was with sam, leslie and simon plus amanda, natasha and aunty Janna. Stuck together for one month of spiritual boot camp, well kinda. It was a refreshing time for me. I was awakened to the duty I hold as a christian to finish the work Jesus started and to restore the earth to the way God intended when He created Adam and Eve and put them in the garden of Eden.

It was also a training time for me, I really learned to trust God with His word and allow Him to speak what He wants me to know and do. During this time i was also reminded of the motives behind my service, and the things I do. God never looks at what we do but He looks at the heart and motive behind why we do the things we do.

Going to the village was really a good time for me and the others, you know everything just went well and we came back with joy and accomplishment. Going there for the second time was really good. Quite different from the first time because.. well i've talked about this in the previous post.

Now things are winding down, my time table is already out. Payment of fees should have been made today but due to 'circumstances beyond my control' {yeah that all too familiar cliche} it will have to be tomorrow. I just hope that i can finish everything on time. I miss my friends in miri and can't wait to see them again, we had such a nice time last sem. However I cannot wish for the same this sem because of the mounting responsibilities and engagements that are required of me. I just need God the grace and wisdom of God to give my best in all I do. Please remember me in your prayers.

Looking back I thank God for the opportunities la, thank God for the friends and for pastor cheli and aunty mei, for all their help and support. And for you all for a nice time together, though it was short. Its funny how I miss kuching when i'm in miri and vice versa, when will it end? Hehe

God bless you, oh and ah happy valentine's day.

~shalom~

i want my daddy

We went back to kampung pasir ulu at pastor ned's asking. I went with Aunty Janna. After being there two weeks ago I was not sure if i would be there again but we went.

Like the last time we had meetings with the kids, the youth. Well basically Aunty Janna handled the kids, i just helped out. We only met the youth once on Friday. There were games and a worship session with them.

Pastor ned thought it would be a nice idea for me to lead prayer for different people groups, so we prepared and did that, while he translated everything i said. We prayed for the Malays, the Tamil Indians and the Jews. The Jews are not Christians you know, even though they are God's chosen people they still need to accept Jesus into their hearts and let him be Lord and saviour over their lives like the rest of us.

This time there were more people because there was a kind of seminar going on and so some of the Covenant Fellowship Church members from the MJC branch came over as well as some other people from other churches in the neighbouring villages.

This time things were different, I didn't have the company of the other five that went with me so I didnt have anyone to kacau but made new friends. Its incredible the hospitality of the people. They were always smiling, always serving us and i felt like i was given special treatment. It wasn't a good feeling but they're just being nice la.

Just seeing how they all come to church, everyone from daddy to mummy to all the anak coming together to worship God is just so amazing. I felt like i also want my daddy puji tuhan. Really i just miss not having a Godly father who's serving in church. God how? And guess what, all the time we were there the man cooked. How cool is that? They had to wake up at 4:30 to start cooking everyday. Talk about dedication. I also wan.

O-tou san, I want the daddy you gave me to serve you wo. Please save him for me. Arigato o-tou san :)

~shalom~

my heroes ability is better than yours

I had someone unfriend me on facebook because she couldn't handle me attacking her all the time on heroes ability. Well that sucks, I really like picking on her. Its also such a childish thing to do but i'm going to miss her.

Just a few updates here. I'll be going back to pasir ulu this Friday, will only be back on Sunday. Was asked to prepare 2 devotionals to share with the youth and possibly the adults and at this point i don't know what to share. I guess this is another situation where I just need to rely on God's wisdom and direction.

CNY has begone, the fireworks made it impossible to sleep, not that i was sleepy. And the accompanied smoke is not exactly good for my health all the same I wish all the chinese who are celebrating a happy CNY. Was at pastor's house last night for our own family reunion dinner hehe.

I leave for miri on the 20th. After three months away from school, i miss classes and assignments and all the pressures of school. Yeah i'm being silly i know but really man who came up with the idea of a three month holiday? Part of why i'm so excited to get back to miri is because i get a whole room to myself. I don't mind sharing rooms but there are times when i just want to do my own stuff and not worry about disturbing my room-mate. Like sometimes i just like to play music really loud and stay up all night. But i will miss playing Counter-Strike with him. He's such a nice guy.

Remain blessed :)

~shalom~

the way you are in me

The Way You Are

The Afters.

Until You came I was just the same
As everybody else
Whoever saw the light and turned away

You love me now
You loved me then
And every now and again
You show me how it would be if I'd gone the other way

After all this time I've come to find my soul's fragility
But You've rectified my frailty by your strength

-Chorus-
It's like the sun swallowed up by the earth
Like atomic bombs in reverse
As if a glass could contain the sea
That's the way You are in me
That's the way You are

Now here I stand looking back
To the way things used to be
But I will never be alone again

Cause you're with me
And now I see
What it means to me
To be a part of such a mystery

After all this time I've come to find my soul's fragility
But You've rectified my frailty by your strength

-Chorus-
It's like the sun swallowed up by the earth
Like atomic bombs in reverse
As if a glass could contain the sea
That's the way You are in me
That's the way You are

After all this time I've come to find my soul's fragility
But You've rectified my frailty by your strength

-Chorus-
It's like the sun swallowed up by the earth
Like atomic bombs in reverse
As if a glass could contain the sea
That's the way You are in me
That's the way You are in me
That's the way You are
That's the way You are in me (That's the way)
That's the way You are in me (That's the way)
That's the way You are in me (That's the way)
That's the way You are in

This song by the afters was singing in my heart so i took a listen and wow. I didn't really listen closely to the lyrics until now but wow. I like the chorus ...like atomic bombs in reverse... that's the way you are in me.

I bought the album "I wish we all could win" after listening to one of their songs on the billboard top 20 hits and loved the band. They have a new album out, can't wait to get it hehe.

I dunno why but this quote has been on my mind, Emotions are deceptive, only the word is truth, I posted it in facebook a while ago and I find it so true. Coming from a place where i relied heavily on emotions to make the right choice and seeing how that led me brought me to the place where the thought does not even come to my mind. Humans are so fickle, i sound like an alien saying that but its true and people make promises and assurances and then go on to change them like it was nothing. That's why in psalms David says woe to him who puts his trust in man.

There's a story behind that verse for me but I won't share about it now. And just to clarify, it happened between me and my mom a long time ago before i came over here {very important}.

~shalom~