on relationships

It would be a shame if this blog becomes superficial and I'll consider it a failure if it doesn't touch people's lives in one way or the other so for this post and hopefully a few more in the future i'm going to talk about some sensitive issues. There's no need to pretend and its ok to talk.

I've been in a relationship for almost three years now, it started well. The whole idea thrilled me, i couldn't believe it was happening. We went shopping, movies and stuff, thousands of sms, and dozens of calls each week followed and everything was fine and rosy. But then there came as there always will be clashes, conflicts of interest. Simple misunderstandings blown up until it was like a nuclear bomb. The problems affected my studies, my life, it can get quite crazy.

I came to the point where i didnt want to go on anymore. I just wanted to call it quits. I mean this is not what i bargained for. Its not suppose to be this way, i remember thinking but somehow God held us through. I say God because i dont think either of us had the strength.

As time went by, the excitement died down, familiarity sets in, and you start to take things for granted and the relationship grows cold to the point where love has no meaning anymore and you ask yourself what really is love? In proverbs there's a passage that says hope deferred makes the heart sick. And really its easy to take what you have for granted until you come to point of almost losing it and things start to come back to perspective.

In a few words, i know relationships sound dreamy and nice and its like the best thing that every happened, the best idea every but it takes time, effort, prayer and good counsel to keep it going sometimes. The emotional bombs that hit you takes some maturity to weather and it will affect every single thing you do. Do i regret my decision? Absolutely not. There are things i've learnt about myself and about people that i could never know any other way. If i have the chance to do it all over again will i still choose her? Definitely, only a bit later.

There are things in life that should not be rushed into. Not because they are bad or anything but we need to be ready for them. We need to be prepared to handle the hard times and most importantly, we need to develop a strong enough relationship with God so that nothing can dimish us from our final goal. We were made for Him afterall, He is the bride and we are the bridegroom.

So while i'm in a relationship and things go wrong, i make mistakes, i forget birthdays and anniversaries, i become selfish and don't call as often as I should. While i make these mistakes and hurt the one i love, it take courage to admit them, ask for forgiveness, pray that you get forgiven and try again. Give it another try. The worst thing you can do for yourself is give up. I learned that the hard way :P

In many ways relationships reflect the character and nature of Jesus. We love him that's why we want to hear from him, we want to serve and make him proud. We want to honour him and just bless. Not to be selfish and receive all the time but bless others. We mess up, then come to him and pray for forgiveness and he loves so much that he would forgive everytime.

I guess what i'm trying to say with so much words is i'm grateful for the counsel of friends, pastor, leaders and for their concern and as nice as a relationship may sound its not for everyone because its such a serious thing that lives could be torn apart if we're not careful. I pray that this will be helpful to anyone who's seeking ;)

Be anxious for nothing but in everything through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, make your request known to God and the peace of God that transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and mind through Christ Jesus

~shalom~