knowing and knowing about

I've been reading this book by A.W. Tozer, God's Pursuit of Man for the past two nights now. I've had the book for something like a year now and only picked it up the other night because I couldn't sleep and tonight because I'm stalling on my studying. Normally I read books from the first chapter but I guess due to the circumstances with which I picked up this book to read, I started with the chapter on the Holy Spirit.

Jesus we know, the son of God, God we know, and the holy spirit we know, the third person of the trinity but I must confess there's not much more that I know. I know yes the Holy Spirit helps us understand the things of God but as the book points out, there's knowing and there's knowing about. Most of what we know is this 'know about' knowledge, knowledge we gain through the study of the word, through accounts from other people but there's a deeper, more personal 'knowing' that comes through experience and revelation from God through the spirit of God. This knowledge is far greater than any of our human efforts, all our intellectual capability. I don't know about you but I'm not a very smart person so this kind of knowledge is appealing to me. Let me repost something from the book by some guy, Athanasius who wrote something he called 'The Incarnation of the Word of God'. Here we go.

But for the searching of the Scriptures and true knowledge of them, an honorable life is needed, and a pure soul, and that virtue which is according to Christ; so that the intellect guiding its path by it may be able to attain what it desires, and to comprehend it, in so far as it is accessible to human nature to learn concerning the Word of God. For without a pure mind and a modeling of the life after the saints, a man could not possibly comprehend the mind of the saints....He that would comprehend the mind of those who speak of God needs begin by washing and cleansing his soul.

-ONWARD

why delia why

In the latest in the series of misfortunes I've been having with my computer, the screen suddenly started to flicker violently so much that I can hardly make out what's on the screen. This is the progression of the previous benign 1 pixel line across the top of the screen and the occasional flicker when the screen brightness is low.

I sent it to the pc image shop at boulevard Miri and they plugged it to an external monitor and after they couldn't get the display to come on they told me its the graphics card problem. n00bs! Naturally I didn't accept their prognosis so I tried it on the lab computers in campus and it works. So for now the only way to use my lappie is with this ~19" monitor.


Cost me 400 bucks of unplanned, unbudgetted money but much cheaper than getting a new lappie. Why delia, why? You're not even three years old yet.
-ONWARD

Adie - Redemption song

Adie is Jeremy Camp's wife, was the vocalist for the band Benjamin Gate. Didn't know it was her until quite recently. She has a great voice and two beautiful albums.

-ONWARD

None Beside You God, Autumn TP

More than just a song.

-ONWARD

it is well with my soul

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

In cell group we'll going through Hebrews, learning that Jesus is our great high priest, one appointed my God, who's sacrifice was himself, one that is done once and for all so that he is priest forever, making intercessions for the saints.

Many times what sets us back is guilt. I did something wrong, something awful, how can a christian do this kind of thing? Well guess what, it didn't catch God by surprise. I don't think he's there with a jaw dropped expression of shock at the things we do despite being saved from sin. I think that there have been a provision for this exact situation. Most times all we need is to say sorry.

 My favourite hymn has this line ...and now thou bids me come to thee O lamb of God I come, I come.

It is well, it is well with my soul. God bless you.

-ONWARD!

it just has to be

I've not done this for a while. In this life no one has it easy but I think if we are honest you can point out some of the nice things that has happened. Some people accredit these things to God, some just accept it, others say its karma. I belong to the first bunch of people.

A friend asked me a while ago if I would do it all again, would I have come to Miri and without thinking about it I said yeah. I'm not one to explore the other possibilities of alternate life decisions. What if this, what if that... its irrelevant. But coming to Miri gave me immense opportunities to serve, to meet a lot of people, to discover some parts of me that I probably wouldn't have had. Was my time wasted? I don't think so. As much as I would like to be out there doing great things, I've come to learn that its not speed but fidelity. How long can you last? What is the quality of your life? Are you prepared for what is ahead and until I am I'm not going anywhere. Its not like I purposely refuse to move on but I believe that my life is part of a grand master plan from someone much wiser to teach the great a lesson. I believe that immense good will come out of every bad thing, every disappointment, every pain and shame I have felt, I believe it, and its my hope.

Not to be sidetracked but I want to thank God for not giving up on me, even when I have not been good to Him, but still, in a world that loves to judge and punish, His grace is refreshing and His love undeserving. I thank God for seeing me through a lot this year. I may not be where I need be but I'm not where I used to be and that's progress. Doesn't have to be big, it just has to be.

-ONWARD

I was just thinking of all the stuff that I want but can't have and I remembered this; delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.


-ONWARD

thank you - sanctus real

love this song.
-ONWARD

you'll be in our hearts

I know you're in a better place now.

-ONWARD

I love you not because of anything you are or what you will become. I love you because you are my son.

-mom

-ONWARD

11.10.10

When did you stop believing? when did impossible start to matter? Have you forgotten? Has it really been that long? When did the one who split the sea change? Is He not the same one that lives in you? Who will never leave you or forsake you? ...I've never seen the righteous forsaken.

But you say, with a dropped head, I'm not righteous, I've done so many things I'm ashamed of. Is that it? Are not his mercies new every morning? When did you embrace fear and discard faith so much that its now the only reality you see? Is not the God of wonders still the God who ...goes around the earth to show himself mighty, will He not do what he promised? Are you better off in that corner, afraid and ashamed, is it not you who was at the forefront not so long ago? What happened to you, mighty man of God. Is not the joy of the Lord still your strength? Are you not the son of God? Will he forsake his own flesh? If you evil men know how to give good things to your children, how much more the heavenly father. Ask that your joy may be full. Go and sin no more but if you do, dont stay there, let it go. My peace I leave with you, not like the world...

Today church was great.

-ONWARD

Dell inspiron 1420 teardown

My lappie, I call her Delia has been making some funny noises. This is one of the flaws of my particular Dell model, the inspiron 1420 known for its loud fan noise and heating issues that screw up the graphics card. There's also the one pixel line across the top of the screen but that's another story.

So the other day I was studying and could not stand it anymore so I opened up the computer, took out my old toothbrush and gave the fan a good clean. Unfortunately it didn't solve the problem but I took pictures of the insides and thought to share so here you go.















And as a bonus, here's how it sounds sometimes



I think its fair to say that my next computer will not be a Dell. I'm done.
-ONWARD

Poor durian
-ONWARD