"Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy,”Easy” doesn’t enter into grown-up life."

-Michael Cane - The Weatherman

via yearslater
-ONWARD

changing seasons

One thing I have learned over the years on this blog is control. There are times when i feel like man, I've got to write about that and you know there are a lot of ideas in my head but most times they're not ready to be expressed or not necessary. So yeah control. Its better to think things through than just pour out raw emotions on the internet for everyone to read and form opinions about you.

The past few weeks have been difficult. I had a packed schedule and faced some normal life difficulties but things are looking up.

Its that time again, the changing of seasons. For me i will no longer be president of vcf. I have really enjoyed my time as leader although looking back i would say i make a better follower than a leader. It has its perks but I know i'm not ready to lead a group of people. But the experience was great and i have a new found respect for people who lead well.

As a leader you make lots of decisions everyday. And most of them don't just affect you, they affect everyone thats under your influence. Suddenly you have to be careful what you say, what you do...things like that. Decisions are never easy. You cannot satisfy everyone and that cannot be your goal. There will be people who either misunderstand, or simply refuse to agree with you and thats fine. I think it helps you be a better leader, having some trouble :) but for me i think its important that whatever decision you make, you are at peace with it. And you are prepared to live with the consequences. Good or bad.

Besides Jesus, i don't know of any leader who never made a wrong decision. Something that seemed right at the time, an oversight or just a mis-judgement. Some of the best leaders are haunted by some wrong decisions they have made and that makes them better. Because it brings you to a point you don't ever want to be in again. And you never forget. But just like relationships, you remember the good times more.

-ONWARD

I think the worst feeling in the world is being misunderstood.

-ONWARD

Just read this from an email.

God wants you to be in regular, close fellowship with other believers so you can develop the skill of loving. Love cannot be learned in isolation. You have to be around people---irritating, imperfect, frustrating people.

While true, most of the times i find that people often misunderstand motives even when they have been declared. And that is sad.

-ONWARD

finally home

I just discovered this song and I can't turn it off. Finally home by mercyme



-ONWARD

Today

Today in church in the midst of filled tummys and sleepy heads we were reminded to be humble. God stands in the way of the proud but gives grace to the humble. The point was made that in today's world being humble sometimes means you have to admit that you don't know something that would indicate that you are weak and nobody wants to appear weak because you get picked on and bullied. We rather put a front than admit it.

But today i learned that its better to be humble even though you might be thought less of and probably picked on because "...God gives grace to the humble and stands in the way of the proud..." because pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. So i'm thankful for that, so that next time when i have to admit i don't know something in class and have everyone go huh? It'll be easier knowing that He's got my back.

Today i read that Colour blindness is an inherited disorder caused by the absence of a cone cell in the eye and its more common in males than females. In extreme cases you can only see black and white. Imagine a world without colour! I'm glad i can see colours and most of my cells don't seem to be missing. Another chance to be thankful :)

Thank you father for making me so wonderfully complex, for knitting me inside my mother's womb, for knowing me before i was. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me. Thank you that i can see colour and i know the difference between right and wrong, sometimes :)

-ONWARD

msn messages (part 3)

I have a full list tonight and as usual my friends never disappoint with their status messages. Enjoy.

1. bk in action
2. Immature love says "I love you because I need you." Mature love says "I need you because I love you"
3. akustatik
4. God bless everybody in the world
5. what if His people pray..
6. Honest to God i'd break your heart: Tear you to pieces and Rip you apart
7. chuck & sara
8. [japanese words] I long for U~
9. finally
10. Let's go 2 Nome
11. oth t pu yin vww!!!!!!
12. I see your true colours shinning through... that's why I love you...
13. internet connection is terrible
14. When love is real, it finds a way
15. no water ahhhhhh...
16. I just need to spend one moment with you.
17. Taking chances...:)
18. [obscene word] everyone love ur life

Entertaining as usual. And again nothing repeating from last time and the time before.

-ONWARD

the world according to apple

I'm sure by now you are sick as I am by the relentless news about the iPad, Apple's latest definition of the future of computing. I read mostly tech news and I've been following the rumours and the reviews of the iPad and here are my thoughts.

It all started when people started to ask Steve Jobs about what Apple's answer will be to the pervasive netbook. And for the record I hate netbooks. I think jobs is right by calling them nothing more than under-powered cheap laptops. Their keyboards are small, the screen is small, their processors are slow, you'll be lucky if you can do anything worthwhile on those things. So netbooks are bad and Apple has developed a reputation for changing some of the bad things in this world.

It all started with the iPhone, the phone that was designed to change the industry, the way we communicate. Prior to the iPhone there was Nokia, SonyEricsson and Motorola. And they dazzled us with their designs, I remember the N95 with its double slider was all the rave back then until the iPhone showed up in the US with people sneaking out of work to get in line with the rest of their friends who took the day off to get the iPhone on launch day. With its slick design, thin candy bar form factor, smooth touch surface and apps. Yeah apps were the game changer for Apple. They changed the market. They changed some of our behaviours and in a few years they have taken over as the market leader among all the mobile devices manufacturers. It helped that they already have the iTunes store and a lot of people used to buying music, movies online from apple so the app store was successful because of a previous Apple invention.

The iPod was instant love. In a world where mp3 players were uninspiring Apple stepped in to change all that with design. The iPod is an icon. It was not just another mp3 player it was an iPod, it played music on this gorgeous white device with an intuitive control and a store that turned many away from torrents.

When you trace it back it kind of feels like it was all part of the plan. Everything we have now was just building on what we have become used to. The iPod, the iTunes store, the iPhone, the app store and now the iPad and the iBookstore where Apple will be attempting to change the world of computing once again. Whether they success or not well time will tell.

After much exposure to reviews and videos of the device, i can see myself wanting one. Its much better than a netbook. I can see myself reading lecture slides off of it, poking people on facebook and twitting from it. I guess it unties me from the desk where i consume information. And for consuming all things media this is a great device. I think it will do very well in the campus environment. I don't need to print my tutorial sheets anymore. And when you get bored you have thousands of apps, to keep you occupied.

From a technical standpoint i don't like that the iPad is closed. You can't modify the device to do anything that the manufacturer does not provide. You don't have access to the file system, you can write scripts for this device so in that sense its closed and i fear that this will become the future of computing since most people just love to copy Apple so that saddens me.

Apple has taken it upon itself to move technology forward but always at some cost. I remember when the floppy disk was omitted from the first iMacs in '98 i thought it was silly but we needed to let go of the old and embrace the new (USB ports). I just hope we won't be sorry.

-ONWARD

this and everyday

So i've not done this in a while but i think i should. Holidays are good, they refresh your spirit and soul, they make you think, they make you thankful.

Today i'm thankful for God's grace over my life. All things considered i consider myself among the very blessed people of this world. To think that even before i was born i was known is overwhelming. And all my mistakes have been taken into account so that someone is working tirelessly through the process of my life and development to give me that expected end, that there is just love that is too much.

So i'm thankful today and everyday for life, for a roof over my head, for good health, for family and friends. Not because i know i have to but because i want to and yes because i have to. Because i'm not ungrateful. So thank you my Father for today and everyday :) i'll learn to make it up to you.

-ONWARD

wait

If there's one thing i learn from doing alpha is that when we pray there are three outcomes. God may say yes, no or wait.

I've been asking a lot of when? questions. Its not easy going through life acting like i'm fine because i'm not. I mean i am fine just not really and there's nothing anyone can do to help. This is between me and my God.

We are all work in progresses. And God who began this work in you will continue his work until it is finally finished. So on whether I get this or get that or be this or be that there's a wait. There's a wait for a reason because there's a lot that you can learn from being patient that helps keep whatever you get longer and builds you up to be someone of character that nothing else can teach. Yes its not easy but if you can't take it anymore do what David did in the Psalms and pour our your heart to him. Do what Jacob did and wrestle with him. I say this to myself too...FIGHT! Fight. But wait because i believe when everything is set, nothing can stop it. And it will taste good, it will feel good and you will remember and you will treasure it.

-ONWARD

when you pray

I was going through some old stuff and found notes i took in my first camp at Siar beach on prayer and i'm sharing :)

The Lord's prayer brings to focus our lives. God wants to talk to me everyday, every time. Matt. 6:5 In a way we die, our spirits die if we don't hear from the Father.

To hear from God
Don't try to impress people or please people. To hear God you must want to hear him more than anyone else. Learn to live for an audience of one (God).

Put God first. Remove all distractions (mobile phones, computer). God speaks when you are still and listening.

When you pray don't say a lot of stupid rubbish, meaningless thing but share what is going on inside you, whats in your heart. God is close not distant.

Hallowed be your name (my God is the greatest)
When we say these words, we are putting God in his right place and just surrender to Him.

This was from pastor bruce.He sent me a christmas card once and spelt my name ouchi :)

-ONWARD

on adapting

I've been in this country for a long time now. I remember days when my stable food was bread because i couldn't eat anything else. Now i have to think hard about stuff i don't eat or not. I don't like durians, tried them and they are not for me.

I think when you come to a new place its important to learn about the culture and customs of this new place. It tells the people that you respect their way of life. They start to accept you and only then are they interested in you, where you come from and how you own culture works. I see a lot of similarities between Asian culture and some African culture, since i've never been to another African country apart from Nigeria and yes Africa is NOT a country, its a continent just like Asia, or Europe and they're a lot of different countries and they speak a lot of different languages, just in my country alone there are more than 200 languages. So how do we communicate? English. Albeit a contextualised version of the language. Where was I? Oh yeah similarities.

In my house, in Nigeria we don't wear shoes or slippers in the house, same here in Malaysia. We don't necessarily have to sit on the table to eat i mean whatever is comfortable for you. The older people are treated with respect, and kids who don't conform to this kind of behaviour are a headache to their parents. Same here i suppose...you get my point.

So why am i bring this up? I think its a shame to come to a new place, a new culture and still live within your own cultural bubble. I think its a waste of opportunity and while there way be degrees of acceptance there should generally be no ethnocentrism. Yeah big word. It basically means that my culture is better than yours so i won't try to understand why you do the things you do because its just wrong from my point of view.

Why is any of this important? We had an interesting chat just randomly, my friends and I and I realised how un-African i have become since coming here. Its not that i don't care about my culture, I do, i miss it very much but there are aspects of it that are pointless, meaningless and should die. I realise that its easier for me to relate with a non-African, not because i'm biased but because i guess i lost my point of reference. I don't know how to connect with them, what to say, and they look at me funny, but it doesn't bother me. I'm used to all that. Sometimes you have to have thick skin :)

I guess what i'm trying to say is that all cultures are good to the extent that they are good and for an outsider its important to learn something new from someone new and different. And the goal is not to become like them, but to become comfortable ultimately in both your native culture and that of your adopted one so that when someone talks about you in hokkein you know what to say back. But more importantly people don't see you as a threat but as one of them because we are all connected.

-ONWARD