Every time i stare at this editor i try my best not to be too preachy but i always fail. For some time now there's a lot that has been in my mind. A lot that have been going on within, some very new. Experiences that i've never had before, some things that i'm not proud and stuff.
This semester will be my last as a VCF committee member. I remember how i came to vcf. I remember kimberly asking me if i want to become a cell group leader even before i left kuching. I was assisting Diana in the Friday cell group. Last time it used to be in campus from 12 to 2 since everyone is free. And then i moved to luke's cell group on monday i think delany and felicia were all new and shy :) I think that was my favourite cell group. Some how they made it fun and interesting. We didn't do deep bible study but always had icebreakers and some games, and some times light refreshment. And then i was asked to be in the committee.
I think i called michael telling him i could not handle this. And he said for most of the challenges in life we are not prepared for them. For most things we just go in faith. I was elected to be in the caring ministry with chuma. It was an opportunity for me to learn about myself and to learn to serve this wonderful fellowship. In the first half of our term i struggled a lot. Part of my duty is to get speakers for our fortnightly celebrations and it was not easy to find people, have them confirm and all within the time frame. I quickly learned to plan ahead and be ready for an alternative plan if things changed.
I remember that i preferred to work independently, i don't think i gave chuma a lot of opportunities, yeah like i said i learned a lot about myself. Not justifying my actions but i find it easier, less stressful not relying on people because there are a lot of things that could come up 'excuses' and stuff but i think it was a wrong move.
Being in the caring ministry opened my eyes a bit to see everyone i vcf and everyone that was not part of vcf but was suppose to be. And in my heart i always wanted the fellowship to grow, i felt so welcomed and i wanted the new students to feel the same way but for some reason over time it seemed like there was not much interest, in general among the students in the things the things that we do. Or was it that we didnt reach out to them enough. I dunno i just feel like that. And then there was the case of our previous members who joined other cell groups and didn't come anymore, some just drifted away without any reason. i guess those were the sad moments.
Last year to my shock i was elected president. I was not expecting that at all. I feel like i don't deserve the position and i fought against it be in the end with tears and an unwilling heart i went on. Our first semester as a new committee was very shaky. We were all new to this committee thing. Making decisions for the fellowship, changing some of our long standing traditions. I guess we took some bold steps. Not sure if they were the right ones but maybe time will tell.
When i look back and i shared this in our last meeting. I see my life in Curtin as fulfilling. I've never thought of how it would have been if i was not involved with vcf or any clubs. Maybe i'll be a nerd or a geek or not. But i know it won't be as fulfilling. I would have missed all the meetings, the birthday celebrations, the sports events, the troubles, yes those too. They make life interesting. The goodbyes, the celebrations, and all the opportunity to serve. Yes its very tiring but after the hard work is done there's yeah the word is fulfillment.
The first steps to something big can be sometimes scary because its unknown, uncharted territory, there's no preparation but when we put our trust in the one who makes all things possible, we start to see that what was scary was really nothing to be afraid of. This is the season where a new committee will be formed to run the fellowship for another year. As someone who has been there, done that i would like to confirm that God is able to keep you from falling and present you faultless... that his strength is made manifest in your weakness. That when you lack wisdom and you ask for it, you really do receive. And yes we are not worthy of any good thing we get from God, we are not worthy to lead God's people but who he called he justifies, and who he justifies he glorifies.
In closing i'm reminded to think of my challenges as opportunities to learn more about myself, about other people, and to learn to trust God because thats what faith is.
-ONWARD