How does it really work?

I've been thinking about how people choose whom to be married to.
As a Christian I've heard all kinds of views and opinions, they're as diverse as the colors of a rainbow. I don't know what to believe anymore.

How do you know?
Someone said, you'll know.
I know but, how? 
Are you going to hear a voice saying, this is the one?
How exactly.

From the Bible we saw that God brought all kinds of things to Adam to see what he would call them. He named them but none was found fitting for him. Only when God made a woman from the man, and brought her to him that he saw her and called her woman. And she was the one fit for him.

Some people say, that's how it's going to be. God will bring people around you and ask you to choose.
Some say, oh you must hear from God. Don't just marry anyone you see without hearing from God otherwise you will marry a Leopard or a Lion. And you'd be sorry.

Can I like someone and make my decision?
Will God be mad at me if I say, I want this one?

Will God stop me from marrying the wrong person or will he just watch?

Apart from the account of Adam, there is no where else in the Bible where God brings a wife for a man. The closest I can find is with Rebekah. The servant of Abraham prayed and asked God to lead him to the house of his master and make his journey to be successful. He called on the God of his master and God answered him. There is no other way to explain how he met Rebekah except that God arranged their meeting.

So God can do that. And he still does that today.
I know of people who say God spoke to them that, this is you wife, this is your husband.
I absolutely believe that.

So how does it work?

Where I stand now is that, it's important to have your desires and present them to God and allow God work out the circumstances and situations that lead to you meeting and knowing who your spouse is.
Be open to hearing from God, in the way that God speaks to you. He will not use a special way to speak to you that how he always has been speaking to you.
Then get other people's view on your choice, weight them carefully before going ahead.
If everyone you love and trust is saying don't go ahead, seriously consider their advice. It's very rare that they will all be wrong and you're the only one that is right.

One last thing though, don't feel pressured by age or comparison. Don't let the news of other people's wedding unsettle you. Everyone has their time and their person. Finally, waiting on God for this matter may require copious measures of patience and persistence. If you really want to hear from him you will have to wait until he speaks. But when he speaks you can run with that word.

-ONWARD!

Why you're stuck

Here's the thing; if you're not pushing yourself beyond the boundaries of your abilities and beyond what you can do comfortably, you're not growing. If you stay there long enough you will begin to resent it.

The feeling of being stuck comes because you have reached a local maxima. I remember those words when I was learning Machine Learning in University. We had to learn about hill climbing algorithms, and stuff. It sounds interesting now but it was not back then.

When you reach a plateau in your life, it comes with the feeling of being stuck. Being stuck comes with feelings of resentment, confusion, anger and irritation with everything around you. You can't explain it, you desire more but can't reach it.

How do you get unstuck?

Widen your sphere.

Do something you have never done before.

Meet new people.

Try new things.

Keep an open mind.

Join new communities and engage with all your heart.

When you open your heart to new experiences, you will find that without changing anything else, your outlook in life improves. 

Try it.

Do it, even if you have to do it scared.

-ONWARD!

Just be free

Avoidance is procrastination.

It's better to face it than allow it to linger.

One thing introverts do is avoid uncomfortable situations. 

Uncomfortable conversations, uncomfortable phone calls, uncomfortable people.

When you combine that with a people-pleaser character trait then you're basically a ninja; hiding and dodging, lurking in the background hoping no one notices you. Maybe you're a shadow, not a ninja.

I've learned that it's better to face the awkward situation quickly, get it over with and move on. It will sting for a while but it's far better than having something ominous looking and lurking around because you don't want to deal with it.

Take a deep breath, be brave for 2 seconds, say the difficult words and be free.

-ONWARD!

Stand out

You are not weird.

You are not strange.

Stop trying to fit in.

Stop trying to be like everyone else.

Be you.

Your true you.

Your true authentic self is the exact thing that makes you special.

It's your differentiator.

Your uniqueness is your superpower.

Stand out, don't fall in.

Keep moving.

-ONWARD!

What I've discovered

The world has changed.

I've discovered that in this new economy, where there is an abundance of vendors and service providers in each niche, you need to find something that's unique about you to stand out.

What makes you stand out is not only your skill, ability to actually do the job but also how you are able to market yourself and your services.

The loudest, more convincing voice wins.

What unique life experiences, perspectives, quirks, can you combine together with your skills and services to sell to your audience?

That's how you make it in this new economy.

-ONWARD!