Its April. I was just catching up on desperate housewives, I’m up to episode 18 of season 8 and its getting really interesting. But for some reason after watching, I was just thinking about the VCF camp I’ll be attending and how I came to be a part of VCf and leaving Kuching for Miri and staying longer than I was expecting and I was feeling very sad at the way things have turned out. But many wonderful things have happened all the times I’ve been here. I remember how hard it was for me to leave Kuching, It was like living home again. I was scared I wouldn’t find the kind of family I had in kuching but before I knew it, I was surrounded with people who looked different but had a familiarity to them. I was with family again. I remember all the times we spent together doing all kinds of crazy stuff, breakfast at 4 in the morning at Lutong, weekend drives to town for some real food. Barbecues for no reason other than its been a while since we last had one and all the while studying and having bible study every week. Like I said, crazy.
Sure there’s a lot of sadness, seeing friends leave, stuff like that… but it will be a real shame to focus on just that and leave out the best part. I realize I have to choose how I remember my time here, with fondness or with regret and despite everything, I am grateful for my time here. I cherish every moment, both good and bad because they make me who I am today. Pressure is a part of live, chicks crack a hard shell to come out, diamonds get that way because of the earth’s pressure, plants push through soil to get to the light. Without the hard things, we don’t appreciate the little things. I love all my scars. They tell my story, and it’s a damn good one.
-ONWARD!
Sunday, April 08, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
if I kill myself, do i go to heaven?
I was going through my delicious feed and found a from one of the people I follow and followed it through to read the article because its something I've always wondered about and the thoughts expressed about people who commit suicide made sense but I don't know if I agree. It also doesn't help that the person who wrote this article did not provide bible verses to support his (lets just go with his for simplicity) argument.
Personally I think if you kill yourself you are committing murder even if its on yourself. And no murderers will make it to heaven. Its an interesting read, something to think about. And if you have thoughts on this, find me on facebook or @mario64 on twitter.
In other news my mom just turned 50 and I'm bummed I can't be there with her but happy for her. She's a gem.
-ONWARD!
Personally I think if you kill yourself you are committing murder even if its on yourself. And no murderers will make it to heaven. Its an interesting read, something to think about. And if you have thoughts on this, find me on facebook or @mario64 on twitter.
In other news my mom just turned 50 and I'm bummed I can't be there with her but happy for her. She's a gem.
-ONWARD!
Sunday, March 18, 2012
she called me family
A while ago I shared something deeply personal to someone I have known for a while an respect thoroughly. And its not something I will normally do, being a very reserved person but I was compelled to due to the nature of our relationship. Don't get excited.
I guess it bears mentioning that she, yes, she is also a christian and I have known her for years and today as I got the response to the email I sent it made me reflect a bit about what she said. Without going through everything she said, she basically called me family. Now i'm not an orphan or homeless or anything, I have a family and I love every one of my sisters, my brother and parents. But this other family is different. I won't say its something I send a lot of time trying to cultivate, maybe I do and just don't know it or won't admit it. In any case it is rather special.
This is one of the things I love about the community of people who believe in and follow Jesus. I've had this same experience in school being part of the VCF, meeting people for the first time, getting to know them and within weeks it feels like we've known each other for longer than in reality. Its very special but not unique. You can get this kind of feeling, in other organisations, other groups, basically get people together in one team to work on a goal and these things form because they spend a lot of time together. While its not unique in its occurrence, its unique in the depth of the bonds that are formed. When someone considers you as part of a 'christian family' its an affirmation that runs much deeper, the depths of which we may never discover.
Thank God for families.
-ONWARD!
I guess it bears mentioning that she, yes, she is also a christian and I have known her for years and today as I got the response to the email I sent it made me reflect a bit about what she said. Without going through everything she said, she basically called me family. Now i'm not an orphan or homeless or anything, I have a family and I love every one of my sisters, my brother and parents. But this other family is different. I won't say its something I send a lot of time trying to cultivate, maybe I do and just don't know it or won't admit it. In any case it is rather special.
This is one of the things I love about the community of people who believe in and follow Jesus. I've had this same experience in school being part of the VCF, meeting people for the first time, getting to know them and within weeks it feels like we've known each other for longer than in reality. Its very special but not unique. You can get this kind of feeling, in other organisations, other groups, basically get people together in one team to work on a goal and these things form because they spend a lot of time together. While its not unique in its occurrence, its unique in the depth of the bonds that are formed. When someone considers you as part of a 'christian family' its an affirmation that runs much deeper, the depths of which we may never discover.
Thank God for families.
-ONWARD!
Thursday, March 15, 2012
its march
Its march and I've successfully gone through Matthew. Yay. A lot of insights and a lot of questions but in all it was good to go through it chunk by chunk.
A lot is said about God's love throughout the bible but the thing that I gleamed through the reading is the unrelenting nature of love. God's love for the people. When Corinthians says love never give up, the full extent of what that means is not necessarily appreciated from that simple statement. Love is patient. Love never give up.
The other day I was going through the notes on my phone and found this one "Christian love is a feeling, its an act of the will."
May the Lord bless you and keep you.
-ONWARD!
A lot is said about God's love throughout the bible but the thing that I gleamed through the reading is the unrelenting nature of love. God's love for the people. When Corinthians says love never give up, the full extent of what that means is not necessarily appreciated from that simple statement. Love is patient. Love never give up.
The other day I was going through the notes on my phone and found this one "Christian love is a feeling, its an act of the will."
May the Lord bless you and keep you.
-ONWARD!
Sunday, March 04, 2012
Right Attitude
Mom says to begin again when you fail. And never to get tired of beginning again. It sounds like a good idea but you only live it when you have had the chance to test it out and see the limits of your resolve.
I've been learning how to use my thoughts and words for my own good. Sometimes all you have is you to encourage you and you don't want to be against yourself. So in the face of a big batu (mountain/hill) think of ways of overcoming it and actually see yourself overcoming it. You may not always be successful but that's not the point. The point is to train yourself to think in this way consistently and increasingly or at least that's what I have learned.
Today in church among other things I learned the meaning of dedication and discipline. Pastor says discipline = boring because most of the time you're doing the same thing over and over but that's the only way to get better. And if you keep at it, someone will notice and lots of good things get to happen.
In hindsight I'm really grateful I have this blog to share all these stuff because I wouldn't get the chance or context to share in real life and it helps to document a bit of my life and process. Something for posterity if you like. Have a right attitude.
-ONWARD!
I've been learning how to use my thoughts and words for my own good. Sometimes all you have is you to encourage you and you don't want to be against yourself. So in the face of a big batu (mountain/hill) think of ways of overcoming it and actually see yourself overcoming it. You may not always be successful but that's not the point. The point is to train yourself to think in this way consistently and increasingly or at least that's what I have learned.
Today in church among other things I learned the meaning of dedication and discipline. Pastor says discipline = boring because most of the time you're doing the same thing over and over but that's the only way to get better. And if you keep at it, someone will notice and lots of good things get to happen.
In hindsight I'm really grateful I have this blog to share all these stuff because I wouldn't get the chance or context to share in real life and it helps to document a bit of my life and process. Something for posterity if you like. Have a right attitude.
-ONWARD!
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