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Thursday, August 13, 2009

call it random

Its nice at night. There's no noise, its cool and the internet is faster.

I don't have anything in particular to talk about, i just want to talk. So you can consider this a random post by someone who can't sleep.

Its week 3 already. Today is thursday. Have cellgroup tonight and two meetings on saturday and then it will be week 4. There's already an assigment due by week 5 and after that is the tuition free week, after that we get our test 1 and well its all downhill from there until the end.

I've changed. I'm no longer the person i used to be. I was afraid this would happen. I remember thinking how i would be like if i really changed, if i would recognise myself or even like who i have become. Now i'm not sure, just bound by responsibility and duties. I dunno how people live to be a hundred. How do they cope with all the stuff you pick up as you grow older. All the heavy stuff.

The more i watch house, the more i want to be like him. Yes he's arrogant and a professed liar, those are not the qualities i admire about him. He is a good leader. Knows how to take care of his people. Probably because his dad lacked that quality so he sought to be nothing like his dad and yet well you can't go scott free in that department. Especially for guys.

There are qualities that my dad has that i want nothing to do with yet i admire his ability to provide for his family, his brilliance, the guy is a genius. But i wished he spent more time with his children to get to know them especially when they're older and have no one to go to for advice on tough life decisions. For some people its not an issue and God bless them but for others, they go on living their lives with one goal or a few related goals to be nothing like their parent, or at least better. Depending on how you look at it, its a good thing. We all need something to drive us now don't we.

-ONWARD

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

your song by kate walsh



My new favourite song

-ONWARD

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Yuki no hana



I love this song.
-ONWARD

how do they do it

How do people go on living normal lives?
How does one cope with all these need for attention?
How do you smile when all thats around you is work? All the stuff you have not done, all the stuff you're running away from hoping in vain that they go away.
How do you make sure your decisions are the right one?
How can you live with the consequences of making the wrong one?
How can you look at someone in the eyes and tell them its going to be alright when you know its not?
How can you find courage when you are drained.

It seems unfair, the whole sowing and reaping thing, or maybe i just don't understand it yet.

I don't know how people do this, i just don't know. So pardon me.
-ONWARD

Thursday, July 30, 2009

happy third

Its the 30th of july and about 3years since the blog was started. I find that its my release. Some people have friends they can tell stuff to, cry to.... i have this and other outlets. But this here blog is more than an outlet.

I've tried to make it all kinds of stuff, been through times when it was about the comments or being popular or something but its not that. I'm not that kind of a person. I recognise that i'm different, in many ways. Some say i'm an introvert others just well...

This blog is more like therapy for me. Its where i share my thoughts, find sanity, learn restraint. If i found a human that could have the same effect then it will be the end but until then, i hope to keep writing.

-ONWARD