new challenges

New year, new challenges.
I find myself in a position where there alot of demands, things i'm not used to, new experiences and roles, new kind of worries. Adult worries.

My main worry now is my project, i need to submit something that would be approved so i can go ahead and start something. My first proposal was rejected and its really difficult to think of something, i've been just pacing around trying to come up with a problem i can provide a solution to, something that has not been done before yet is not so simple. Its hard, i'm struggling.

And then there's the transfer thing, i've not submitted my application yet because of the project thing, its just delaying everything. I feel very worried and pressure is building. Guess school is in full swing. I dont want to get B-U-S-Y. You know pastor said something very profound on sunday and its the first time i'm hearing it this way.

B-ound
U-nder
S-atan's
Y-oke

Its really a yoke, takes away joy and strangles. I can really relate to it, i know last time i was really, there was no time for people or other things it just drained me of my strength and i had to force joy.

But its well. I've been listening to Jeremy Camp alot lately, dunno why. I guess i like the rock-y style, and the lyrics are so real like this one.

Everytime

I spin around, I can hardly see
To catch a glimpse of this moment

I hear the sound of this simple plea
To wait at the feet of your love

Every time I'm on my knees
Pleading for your strength
I will find you there, find you there

Every time I'm on my knees
Reaching for your strength
I will find you there, find you there

To feel the crown of the one I have breathed for
To know the door it will never be broken

Cos I have found that time this time
Has no hold on the rate
That I need you
And I know it's never hard to find you

I'm holding on to this hope
I've been given to be always with you
I'm seeing now
That this fullness of faith is always seeking you

It is well with my soul

~shalom~

better browsing

This may well turn out to be the shortest post i ever make.

Ok guys if you're feeling the pinch from the earthquake in taiwan, 
if you cant stand the slooooooow internet connections any more 
then try one of these proxies, they should speed things up a bit.
165.228.132.10 
165.228.128.10
165.228.133.10
165.228.130.10

All using the port number 3128.

You can also use this proxy: my1.doubleukay.com port:3128

But i discovered its not as fast. Let me know if it works :)

~shalom~
 

2006 part2

I hope i dont repeat myself. So this is what 2007 looks like? Well still in a thankful mood, i'll like to thank God for his faithfulness, and fred was right nothing we do would make God love us less or more he just loves us. That's reassuring!

Just some things i missed while sharing, i would like to thank God for the opportunity to jalan jalan a bit in 2006, dunno if i would have such a priviledge this year. Got a letter from my mom through prince she merely echoed what i've been feeling about this year being a year of perfection and blessings.

Still i would like to thank God for his protection, my father missed a tragic plane crash in 2006, its really God's protection that he's alive. Even for my health, i've not really gone to the hospital for anything, maybe just a few times to see friends. My health has been really good, i get the occasional flu and headaches but nothing beyond that.

Moving on, as pastor read from ephesians

• we are blessed,

• we are chosen {this is very reassuring, it takes care of the feeling of inadequacy and grace}

• we are predestined.

I've thought about what it means to be predestined and well its quite tricky and has the potential to change the way we think either for the better or for worse. But we have been predestined to be blessed. No choice one!

So now with all these promises and assurance, there's really no excuse to live out loud, and shine your light and let the whole world see the glory of our risen King. Remembering

• Talents
• Treasures
• Time

~shalom~

2006 -part 1

Doing the interview thing for the watchnight service, one question that was asked is how has 2006 been for you and i want to take some time here and recall the events of 2006.

In no particular order, 2006 has been a really good year for me. Probably the best thing i can think of about this year is the time we get to come together and pray in INTI College. I think it was valentine who came up with the idea and then it just went off from there, we had sister Sisi from Australia come and speak into our lives but beyond that the spiritual exercise of praying each week has really helped me.

Another significant thing i really appreciate God for this year is the opportunity to really give my life to God and shake off the doubts that used to be there. Academically too this year has been a year of restoration, my grades went up again this year and despite the disappointments, God gave me double for my trouble.

I also want to thank God for the opportunity to serve in the various events, Nights of fire, PS conference and recently in Bethany with the computers and stuff. Even this blog is my attempt to connect with people and i just want to say here and now that the main reason beyond glorifying God with my life in words is to relate with you all just to connect. Its going to go beyond that to physical person to person interaction. I just feel God telling me over and over these few days that i need to work on my interpersonal relationships, i just feel that 2007 is going to be a people year. Its such a great thing for someone like me. I dont want to say i'm shy but i feel i lack certain social skills and God wants to change things.

This year marked a few milestones in my life, i was able to reach out to my father abit, 2yrs in my relationship, you know i think back and i see the exceeding, goodness of God. Even the opportunity he gave me to check off my wishlist.

There is so much more i'll like to share here so i'll do it in another post

~shalom~

ps conf was arrrrh

PS conference was awesome, i'm glad i went. Alot of truth was spoken and mindsets have been changed in Jesus name. I now realise that there are lot of things we have been saved from but it seems like nothing is happening and those same things creep up again and freak us out its like i thought this thing is done and gone but you know, we have to, i have to accept our salvation and deliverance and just move in it. If God says i'm healed then its done, i now have to start seeing myself as healed, even though there's still pain . Its just like peter walking on water, the storm is always there but Jesus is bigger than the storm, the moment we stop looking unto Jesus we sink and thats what happened to me.

I must confess i didnt have the right attitude all through the conference, at some point i just let the situations around overwhelm the presence of God and the truth God has spoken. I am a child of God, the son of God the King, which makes me a prince right, so how come i act like a mere servant? Servant to circumstances? They're always there but my victory lies in Jesus, just looking unto him and accepting his sacrifice.

Another thing that really struck me was the mindset of a person not willing to accept the blessings of God, it like a habit, i dont mind giving, i enjoy it but its hard for me to receive especially when i'm in need, i prefer to just work my way out. And it doesnt matter what it is, money, love, kindness, generousity, anything. A sower has to receive at some point right?

Finally just a wrap up here, there were alot of things spoken and i'm just touching on a few. I was really amazed at the size of the hall we used to the conf. The turn out was very good everybody involved had their hands full and when it seemed like the hall was so full, they moved the walls behind to the back. That really spoke to me. Its like God, when you think you're getting to know more and more about him, when it seems like your day is already good enough, when you feel like the stuff you prayed for has already been answered, He just grins and opens the back wall to reveal even more, God is awesome.

~shalom~