on the brink

Yesterday we the alpha team went out to Lambir waterfalls. I've never been there and it was nice to get everyone out for some together time. 

I feel so disappointed in my photography skills. Most of the shots i took didn't turn out the way i wanted but there were a few good ones.

When we got there, after something like a 15min work the water looked nice. I brought my tripod to take a photo of the water fall and got some shots but not the way i wanted. It was so frustrating but oh well. 

When all the photos were taken went down to the water. I was really cold but after a while you get used to it.  The shallow part was really shallow so i thought i would go a bit deeper. Now normally i take my precautions since i can't really swim, i would remain in the parts where my feet will touch the ground and that was what i wanted. As i moved closer away from the shallow part there was this drastic drop and my feet didnt touch the ground anymore, i panicked.

Almost everyone in the water could swim but once i lost contact with the ground i was helpless in the water, started to sink. You know how you are like a yo-yo in the water, you go up and down as the waves move. When i got down, i thought wow this is it. I may never get up again, but then the water would lift me up again and i will raise my hand to let everyone know i'm in trouble. Yan wei tried to stretch his hands to get me and as soon as i laid my hands on it i pulled like crazy. He's quite thin so didn't have the balance to pull me out. I was pulling him in instead. 

I was puzzled why no one came to my aid, i was clearly in danger and they all thought i was kidding. I was jeremy who pulled me out just in time, i could have drowned there and died there and no one would have noticed until its too late.

That has got to be the most terrifying experience in my life. And i thought it through. All the what ifs and stuff. What a way to die. Would i go to heaven if i died? Did i sin prior to that moment? Nothing else mattered except for those two questions. 

But for some reason it didnt happen that way. Maybe its God's way of saying "i've got your back", "i'm here", "i've not stopped watching over you". And its true you know, God has not stopped watching over me, and indeed all his children. He guards them jealously. I hope i never forget this day so i will remember to put things in perspective.

 

~shalom~