some impressions

Hi there,
I'm not sure what to blog about but i feel my fingers are itchy so might as well.

I've been listening to some rather new music, even though some of them are not actually new but i can say they are my discoveries in music. I still can't access my old hard disk since its formated in ext3 format which is native for linux and so my windows yuck yuck vista cannot read it. But i managed to get some of it out.

Its funny how technology complicates life instead of making it easier. That is the promise of technology right?

I've been thinking too. If something is meant to be, why isn't it always meant to be in the time and form that is convenient. I get patience and all but time brings with it change and some changes are not reversible, and memories fade, and feelings die, desire takes a back seat as other more important aspects of life take centre stage. Is that the point? Is that the whole idea?

And why should something that is wrong be made ok, acceptable? Why when the conscience is not in agreement do we persist in things that we know is not the best. Why settle for something momentary. What happened to the long run picture. Not everyone turn out right. So yeah its fun and nice now but what about the future? Think! Emotions are a wonderful thing but sometimes it takes the place of the brain and common sense. I wish we can be more...different. More firm with where we stand. But then again who am I to say anything?

This sem is turning out to be one of those sems you'll remember for the rest of your life. I feel like its a turning point in a lot of our lives. As much as i enjoy doing the things that i do, i feel a sense of loss. I feel like i spend less time with the people that matter, feel like life has become one big job, where there's minimal interaction and time to be just among friends. For everyone i've said no to, turned down for some reason, i want to apologize. At the same time please understand that some of these things are beyond what a puny human like me can control. I wish i can be there for everyone but there's only one me, i feel it la.

I finished reading one of the books on relationships my mom sent to me. I must say at first i felt a bit irritated about her sending me books on that topic but after taking a good read for a few months, i must say mummy knows best. Its actually a nice book. It goes through must of the things a man should know before taking the plunge. What to look out for and how to be a man to your woman. Now don't come to me for advice or anything, i think i need to go through it again for some of the things to sink in but i totally reccommend it. I think the title is how to find the right woman for you or something like that.

The other book i finished reading was take hold of God and pull, it talks about our relationship with the Father, challenges some of the assumptions about prayer that i had and how i approach Him. It really came at the right time, right after the news, and gave me hope again, made me realise that hey God is still there. Helped me see how much catch up i need to make.

Father thank you for every moment that you lay out,
for every day and its challenges, and for those times when i am down and you lift up my head,
wipe my soggy eyes and tell me its ok.

Thank you for your matchless promises, for your encouraging words, for the hope that we have in you. Indeed nothing can separate us from your love. And even if our heart condemns us, you are greater than our heart.

You see beyond the external and through every pretence, you see the heart. In your presence everything is plain, everyone equal.

I cannot run away from your presence, i cannot hide from your spirit, for if i got up to the heavens you are there, if i go to the place of the deep you are there, if i ride the wings of the morning, and ask the darkness to hide me, still your spirit seeks me. For light and darkness are both alike to you. Nothing is hidden, everything is plain in your presence.

I'm not like them, you know that already, and you made me, me. And i want to be me, to remain true, to keep the good deposits you have put in me, and to rid myself of the bad that i have made for myself.

I really thank you father, you are bigger than everything, bigger, much bigger. Much much bigger than anything i can think of or come across. And my life is in your hands, before you, my future decided. I believe in you, I trust you. Xie Xie :)
~shalom~