Friday, April 26, 2013

choosing to celebrate

By this time tomorrow it would be official. The ceremony every University graduate looks forward, the crowning event that marks the end of one significant stage in your life. By this time tomorrow I'll be a graduate in Computer Science from an Australian University in Malaysia.

I feel a mix of emotions; both excitement and worry. I'm excited that finally, after all the hard work and effort, that finally I can be called a graduate. I'm excited to be able to celebrate with my friends, people I've known and worked with for all these years. I'm also worried for what the future holds, whether the plans I have for my life will pan out the way I want or not. While this is a legitimate worry, it can often overwhelm and take over, making you forget that this is also a day to celebrate.

So I choose, I choose today to leave my worries in the hands of God. My anxieties and uncertainties I lay at his feet both today, tomorrow and hopefully everyday. I choose to be happy and celebrate this good thing because God has been faithful to me all these years, generously providing and taking care of all my needs according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. I really cannot complain with a clear conscience.

God has been good and he is faithful. Hallelujah.

-ONWARD!

Sunday, April 14, 2013

more more more

I woke up from a bad dream. It's one I've had before and I hate it. It's one of those recurring dreams. A quick search revealed that they are caused by unresolved issues in life. I have loads of those so it makes sense. But I still hate them.

So I wake up at 5, do the search, go back to sleep then my first alarm goes off at 7.30 and I turn it off and went back to sleep knowing that the second one will go off at 8 and then I'll get ready for church. The second one never goes off and I overslept. I overslept and woke up to the sound of Galvin calling from outside my house. I'm late. I've not had a shower, and I'm supposed to be serving this morning. And since I'm the first to be picked up, everyone else is late.

Same thing happened yesterday, I went for Badminton, came back got into the shower and he's there. And I was late again and had to apologise. It seems like something minor but I hate being late, and I hate making people wait for me. I just hate it. And I've felt lousy the whole day because of that. And it's all that stupid phone's fault. Why didn't the alarm go off?

Well turns out the night before I was texting a lot and I set the keyboard to make sounds and for some reason it stopped because I have such a crappy phone running a sub par OS. It stopped last night and I think that's why there was no sound this morning. Normally these little annoyances don't get to me. I can tolerate them but when they all come at once then there's trouble.

So at lunch I was trying out this new app I found in the play store, the name escapes me now but it's a photography app. You take a picture and send to a random person and you get a picture from a random person in return. It sounded interesting so I tried it. Launched the app, tried to take a picture and could only view part of the picture in preview mode. It's like the viewfinder was blocked and only a tiny sliver was exposed and I couldn't see what I was taking a picture of. I've noticed this previously with instagram but didn't think too much about it but today with this app and the stupid alarm not going off I decided to fix the problem.

So got home, did some googling and either no one else has this problem or I don't know how to google for things. I couldn't find a solution so I decided to do a factory reset. A factory reset is a pain because you have to install every app all over again. And most apps require username and passwords and mine are super long and random. It's a nightmare. But would be worth it if it fixes the camera issue but it doesn't. So I decided to re-download the firmware and I've not tried it yet because all the apps are still downloading but I doubt it works. The reset deletes all my recent photos. They're gone forever. Only those I posted to instagram lives. It's times like these I really hate technology. I was happy with my N82 and it took several purchases to get to the phone I could actually use and not be frustrated by and now I have to do the same for smartphones.

More.
I feel like Lincoln in the movie 'the island'. I wished there was more than just waiting to go to the Island. I want more out of life than what I have now. There's nothing exciting to look forward to, there seems to be no progress, just a stalemate and it stinks. I don't like it. I want more. I want a challenge, I need some excitement in my life. I'm not even 30 and I'm having a mid-life crisis.

-ONWARD!

Monday, April 08, 2013

It ends well

I was watching Lord of the Rings, the two towers for the umpteenth time and something caught my attention. Actually I'm still watching, just paused it to write this. So something caught my attention. When Gandalf was leading the fellowship, going through the mines of Moria was a reluctant decision, one he placed in the hands of Frodo who didn't know better. Their path had been orchestrated by Saruman who made sure they will all be destroyed in the mines. But something unexpected happened.

Gandalf fell into deep darkness and was forced to engage the Balrog. A foe of which he had not been tested yet. And this what made it click for me. Saruman purposed to stop the fellowship, even his long time friend Gandalf by leading him into the mines, making their lives more difficult, among other things but what happened was that they triumphed and became stronger by facing those challenges. It was meant to destroy them but something better happened. It strengthened them, it made them stronger. Gandalf the grey became Gandalf the white, or what Saruman should have been, as he says.

Automatically I remember Joseph, the annoying dreamer who though he was last wanted to be first. And his brothers sought to kill him and opted to sell him instead. They tried to destroy him and his dreams but what happened? Joseph became stronger and more powerful. More than even he ever dreamt was possible.

You can see the same theme over and over again. In the life of David, of Abraham, even of Jesus. The devil sought to end him but that just made him more powerful. He broke the power sin and death has over those who will believe in him.

You can look at this anyway you like but I see courage, I see hope. It ends well, when God is on your side.

-ONWARD!