I've been living in Malaysia now for what I would consider a long time and very soon, God willing, I will be leaving. At this point I'm not sure what I want to do with my life, where I will end up, things like that. Would I stay here if I had the chance? There was a time when the answer would be a resounding yes but things change.
I love it here, I love the food, the weather, the culture, some of the languages and the challenges in communicating. But I would never feel at home here. There will always be a place where I call home, the real home and you know its not an idyllic (first time i'm using this word) place. In fact it may not be pleasant but its home and thats where the heart wants to be.
It interesting the kind of things you talk about over lunch especially when you have a curious friend who's always asking question and a particularist (no its not a word) who's always looking for the exact words to explain things. Transitions are not pleasant for the most part. You miss friends, and some bonds weaken with distance and time, and familiar environments are gone and its like starting all over again from basics. Hi my name is (insert name here), nice to meet you. Building new friendships while trying to keep the old ones - one area where I fail.
Its not that I don't care about those that are not in my immediate environment, its just that it takes a lot of effort and understanding from both sides to keep something worth keeping. Before you know it you find words to keep conversations going, wondering what happened to that person you could talk non-stop to. I don't know, transitions are hard, I'll be facing one real soon but you'll know how it goes because I'm talk about it here :)
-ONWARD