Why do people compare themselves to others? I can't help but compare myself with people, but it's wrong. We are all different, we all have our place in this world. Some times it's the same as most other people, most times it's not but we all try to fit in.
I'm not sure if I've shared this but before I came back home, I prayed and sought the Lord repeatedly to get a go ahead or a stay put. I needed to know that I was not just making my own decision but going to where I need to be. For a long while there was nothing, but on my last Sunday in Kuching, I got the answer I needed and with that the confidence that I am where I need to be. That helps calm a lot of my anxieties.
Since being here I have had a hard time readjusting. Being away for almost a decade, it's not easy to re-integrate into society. I remember telling my mom, coming back home is like going back in time and it's true. But being here, I've been strengthened in my prayer life, I've been getting into the word more. The old testament used to be quite boring but when you see it as a part of a bigger picture, it starts to make more sense, there's a better understanding of the new testament, you get more context. It's been quite exciting really.
I've had to postpone NS until next year. Long story but it's all good. At least I can spend Christmas with my family.
God is really good, there's no limit to his love for his children. Even if you don't feel his presence just stick with him, you have nothing to lose.
-ONWARD!
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
update from home
God is good. I finally sorted everything out with my gmail. If you're using 2-factor authentication with gmail and you travel a lot, changing phones that google does not recognise, you might be locked out of your account if you don't have those backup codes. Thank God I saved them somewhere I can still get at.
I'm back in Nigeria. Have been back since the 1st. There was a little airport drama before I left but it doesn't matter anymore. I still feel kind of noob, not knowing where things are and expecting things to happen a certain way and being disappointed when they don't. Life in general is pretty chaotic and I don't think I'll ever get used to it. It takes longer than usual to get anything done. Here I go complaining but I can't help it.
My mom is on a mission to make me gain weight. I've been eating larger portions than I am used to and she's thinking of de-worming me. I love that I'm back with my sisters, they're so independent.
What do I miss about Malaysia?
This might shock you. I thought I would miss the people or even the food more but I miss fast-er, reliable, cheap internet. Oh my goodness don't get me started. But of course I miss the people a lot and the food and the lifestyle. My national service is soon, I hope I get to somewhere safe, somewhere interesting that I have not been to before. More than that I hope I get all my documents ready on time.
Sorry for the in-coherent post. Will try to post more when I have something to share.
-ONWARD!
I'm back in Nigeria. Have been back since the 1st. There was a little airport drama before I left but it doesn't matter anymore. I still feel kind of noob, not knowing where things are and expecting things to happen a certain way and being disappointed when they don't. Life in general is pretty chaotic and I don't think I'll ever get used to it. It takes longer than usual to get anything done. Here I go complaining but I can't help it.
My mom is on a mission to make me gain weight. I've been eating larger portions than I am used to and she's thinking of de-worming me. I love that I'm back with my sisters, they're so independent.
What do I miss about Malaysia?
This might shock you. I thought I would miss the people or even the food more but I miss fast-er, reliable, cheap internet. Oh my goodness don't get me started. But of course I miss the people a lot and the food and the lifestyle. My national service is soon, I hope I get to somewhere safe, somewhere interesting that I have not been to before. More than that I hope I get all my documents ready on time.
Sorry for the in-coherent post. Will try to post more when I have something to share.
-ONWARD!
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Pacific Rim
It is rare that I watch a movie and I don't have any complaints or things I find weird, things that takes me out of the movie experience. Pacific Rim is not an exception. For the first time, I was taking notes on parts of the movie that I thought was strange, or just bothered me. I don't think it's being nit-picky. Maybe it is, but still, I think movies should be seamless and engaging and immersive.
If you hate spoilers then read no further. That aside, I will try not to give too much away.
So the synopsis of this movie is big giant robots, controlled by a pair of humans fighting giant alien creatures hell bent on destroying all life on earth. As story lines go, I guess that's passable but if you're going to have big giant robots controlled by humans, do it right.
Big Giant Robots
They call the robots Jaegers. If you follow shingeki no kyojin, you recognise that name but I digress. If you're going to have Jaegers controlled by humans, at least give them seats to sit on. Gundam and Evangelion have showed us that a neural link with the machine is more versatile than having the humans perform actual actions that the machines replicate in real life. It bothered me that they were just suspended there doing all these moves. I think it would be cooler to have them sit on a chair, their neural network tapped and maybe access to some controls where their fingers will normally lie and maybe some voice commands. I would have expected that because that's what we are used to and playing on that would have made it more natural, more modern and approachable. Those Jaeger were like scrap metal pieced together by a skunkworks team. Is that really the best humanity could come up with? Please give them chairs.
I guess playing into this scrap metal scenario, one person could not handle the jaeger so you needed two people to sync their brain waves and fight as one. Again those anime I mentioned showed that one person is perfectly capable to operate a machine of that size and even navigate it in space. With the help of a sophisticated on board computer of course but it's the future, those capabilities should be there already.
One more thing about the Jaeger. Initially I thought there was no eject system but later in the movie we found out that there was. Why didn't the pilots eject when they were in grave danger. Why go down with the ship or jaeger in this case? I didn't get that.
Stereotypes
So Mako is Japanese. Not only that she's a girl. And because she's a Japanese girl obviously she has a noticeable Japanese accent and she's a tad shy. I thought this was unnecessary. The moment she came into the picture, I knew instantly where it would lead. There was even a James Bond moment in the end when they were together and the voice on the radio was like guys...? Of course the camera took a wide angle shut and I expected them to pucker up but they just hugged. Mako can be Japanese and she can be a girl but she does not have to be a stereotypical Japanese girl.
The Australians were an interesting much but half the time I couldn't make out what they were saying. There were subtitles in BM and Chinese but I can't read those so I have to try to get what they're saying.
And the scientists? A dynamic duo but guys, you went too far there.
Hannibal Chou was cool. Until he got eaten.
Striker. What I couldn't make out was if he was with the US or the UK or some kind of alliance. Idris Elba did a good job with Prometheus but his English accent got me confused in this one. Besides that I like the dynamic between him and Mako.
So did I even enjoy the movie? Absolutely. I thought the action scenes and the non-action scenes were well balanced. The ending was quite nice. Overall it's a good movie worth watching.
There was a scene where little Mako was sobbing and the people behind were laughing. What's up with that?
-ONWARD!
If you hate spoilers then read no further. That aside, I will try not to give too much away.
So the synopsis of this movie is big giant robots, controlled by a pair of humans fighting giant alien creatures hell bent on destroying all life on earth. As story lines go, I guess that's passable but if you're going to have big giant robots controlled by humans, do it right.
Big Giant Robots
They call the robots Jaegers. If you follow shingeki no kyojin, you recognise that name but I digress. If you're going to have Jaegers controlled by humans, at least give them seats to sit on. Gundam and Evangelion have showed us that a neural link with the machine is more versatile than having the humans perform actual actions that the machines replicate in real life. It bothered me that they were just suspended there doing all these moves. I think it would be cooler to have them sit on a chair, their neural network tapped and maybe access to some controls where their fingers will normally lie and maybe some voice commands. I would have expected that because that's what we are used to and playing on that would have made it more natural, more modern and approachable. Those Jaeger were like scrap metal pieced together by a skunkworks team. Is that really the best humanity could come up with? Please give them chairs.
I guess playing into this scrap metal scenario, one person could not handle the jaeger so you needed two people to sync their brain waves and fight as one. Again those anime I mentioned showed that one person is perfectly capable to operate a machine of that size and even navigate it in space. With the help of a sophisticated on board computer of course but it's the future, those capabilities should be there already.
One more thing about the Jaeger. Initially I thought there was no eject system but later in the movie we found out that there was. Why didn't the pilots eject when they were in grave danger. Why go down with the ship or jaeger in this case? I didn't get that.
Stereotypes
So Mako is Japanese. Not only that she's a girl. And because she's a Japanese girl obviously she has a noticeable Japanese accent and she's a tad shy. I thought this was unnecessary. The moment she came into the picture, I knew instantly where it would lead. There was even a James Bond moment in the end when they were together and the voice on the radio was like guys...? Of course the camera took a wide angle shut and I expected them to pucker up but they just hugged. Mako can be Japanese and she can be a girl but she does not have to be a stereotypical Japanese girl.
The Australians were an interesting much but half the time I couldn't make out what they were saying. There were subtitles in BM and Chinese but I can't read those so I have to try to get what they're saying.
And the scientists? A dynamic duo but guys, you went too far there.
Hannibal Chou was cool. Until he got eaten.
Striker. What I couldn't make out was if he was with the US or the UK or some kind of alliance. Idris Elba did a good job with Prometheus but his English accent got me confused in this one. Besides that I like the dynamic between him and Mako.
So did I even enjoy the movie? Absolutely. I thought the action scenes and the non-action scenes were well balanced. The ending was quite nice. Overall it's a good movie worth watching.
There was a scene where little Mako was sobbing and the people behind were laughing. What's up with that?
-ONWARD!
Wednesday, July 03, 2013
Leaving Miri
A few years ago, I left Kuching and traveled 13 hours by bus to Miri to start a new chapter of my life. After my Diploma in Electrical/Electronics Engineering, I decided to do something different and applied for a degree program in Computer Science. It's what I always wanted to do but I think I underestimated how challenging it would be. My biggest worry at the time was whether I would find the same kind of people I found in Kuching. Coming to Bethany was the best thing that happened to me and I wanted that to continue.
Well even before leaving I heard about VCF (Varsity Christian Fellowship) from Kim and got in touch with Kenin through his blog. I also learned about Calvary Charismatic Center so was considering joining that church but have not made up my mind at the time.
Joining VCF was another good thing that happened to me. I love the people, and how they served and gave of themselves. How they loved other people. My favourite times were just hanging out, or celebrating someone's birthday or going out for dinner or supper together. There was this one time where a few of us went to the beach early for a bbq. Man the bbqs were the best. There used to be one every end of semester to celebrate the end of exams and to get together once more before everyone went back home.
Straight away after joining VCF I was made assistant cell group leader with Diana. I'm not sure which days but we met in campus 12 - 2 and it was a short time of sharing. Our group was small and it was very challenging because I'm not good at teaching or leading these kind of things. But I was assistant leader so it was not too much work. Over time I got more and more responsibilities and even was voted as President for a year. Not my choice but I'm glad that happened. It taught me a lot about myself and my abilities and inabilities. I love serving in VCF, I love the people and it's funny how it changes shape every year but the core function is still there. I really thank God for that.
Joining CCC was also a blessing. At the time I was in Curtin Villa and Samson was my next door neighbour. And he asked me if I had decided on a church yet and I hadn't so he invited me to church. I always enjoyed the message in church, the music was good sometimes but the people are the best. There are some churches where it's like everyone is so talented and they give their best in worship and in everything. Then there are some churches where people just show up and get the job done. Which is better? I think more than anything what matters is the heart and I see a lot of heart in the way people serve in Calvary.
While there we were involved, by we I mean most of the young people, in various things. We ran Youth Alpha on campus, went on the reading bus and served weekly in church. The most exciting times for me was when we started a young adults cell group. It came at the right time. I really needed that time of fellowship and worship with the young people and I was really blessed by the times I spent in cell.
In the earlier days I joined EYM at SIB Canada hill. Their style was very similar to Bethany and it was nice to have in the beginning but I soon stopped going because it was quite a distance from Senadin and I didn't always have transport. But I had a very nice time.
I'm really grateful for the time I spent in Miri. I think I was there longer than I was in Kuching. I am grateful for the friends I met there and the fellowships I had with people. I'm particularly grateful for the opportunity to serve with different people and do all kinds of crazy things. Looking back I have no regrets whatsoever. Sure it was not a smooth ride but looking back now I only remember the good stuff. As for the next chapter, I don't know what's going to happen but I'm determined to continue to serve wherever I am. I think it's the only worthwhile thing one can do with this life.
-ONWARD!
Well even before leaving I heard about VCF (Varsity Christian Fellowship) from Kim and got in touch with Kenin through his blog. I also learned about Calvary Charismatic Center so was considering joining that church but have not made up my mind at the time.
Joining VCF was another good thing that happened to me. I love the people, and how they served and gave of themselves. How they loved other people. My favourite times were just hanging out, or celebrating someone's birthday or going out for dinner or supper together. There was this one time where a few of us went to the beach early for a bbq. Man the bbqs were the best. There used to be one every end of semester to celebrate the end of exams and to get together once more before everyone went back home.
Straight away after joining VCF I was made assistant cell group leader with Diana. I'm not sure which days but we met in campus 12 - 2 and it was a short time of sharing. Our group was small and it was very challenging because I'm not good at teaching or leading these kind of things. But I was assistant leader so it was not too much work. Over time I got more and more responsibilities and even was voted as President for a year. Not my choice but I'm glad that happened. It taught me a lot about myself and my abilities and inabilities. I love serving in VCF, I love the people and it's funny how it changes shape every year but the core function is still there. I really thank God for that.
Joining CCC was also a blessing. At the time I was in Curtin Villa and Samson was my next door neighbour. And he asked me if I had decided on a church yet and I hadn't so he invited me to church. I always enjoyed the message in church, the music was good sometimes but the people are the best. There are some churches where it's like everyone is so talented and they give their best in worship and in everything. Then there are some churches where people just show up and get the job done. Which is better? I think more than anything what matters is the heart and I see a lot of heart in the way people serve in Calvary.
While there we were involved, by we I mean most of the young people, in various things. We ran Youth Alpha on campus, went on the reading bus and served weekly in church. The most exciting times for me was when we started a young adults cell group. It came at the right time. I really needed that time of fellowship and worship with the young people and I was really blessed by the times I spent in cell.
In the earlier days I joined EYM at SIB Canada hill. Their style was very similar to Bethany and it was nice to have in the beginning but I soon stopped going because it was quite a distance from Senadin and I didn't always have transport. But I had a very nice time.
I'm really grateful for the time I spent in Miri. I think I was there longer than I was in Kuching. I am grateful for the friends I met there and the fellowships I had with people. I'm particularly grateful for the opportunity to serve with different people and do all kinds of crazy things. Looking back I have no regrets whatsoever. Sure it was not a smooth ride but looking back now I only remember the good stuff. As for the next chapter, I don't know what's going to happen but I'm determined to continue to serve wherever I am. I think it's the only worthwhile thing one can do with this life.
-ONWARD!
Thursday, June 27, 2013
the opposite way
The past few months have been really challenging and difficult for me. Making life-changing decisions is not easy, I don't know what is right and what is wrong. Every decision has its pros and cons so you have to weigh each carefully. On top of everything there are external pressures and expectations.
Last Thursday when everyone was sharing about how they got to know me and what I meant to them in cell group, I realised that most of what I have done in all my time here has been with the church. And most of the people I know were through church or CF. They shared some really nice things, and I felt blessed that I could be a part of their lives.
It's 4 in the morning and I can't sleep because I'm worried and thinking about so many things and I don't have peace and I feel all alone. In the midst of these things, I'm thinking about the meaning of life. What is the point? What are we really living for? To please people? To live up to expectations? Keep up social appearances? What is it? If that's all my life amounts to, a struggle to the end to win the validation of my friends and family then that would be really sad and I don't want any of it.
You just can't please everyone. And some people will be disappointed in they way you choose to live your life, they will be disappointed at your decisions, they will be disappointed because they have an idea in their heads how you are supposed to turn out, and that idea is in conflict with who you are and who you want to be. And you have to decide to be who you are, what makes you you and be satisfied in that or choose to be who they want you to be and be miserable.
I've decided that I don't care about what people say about me, if they judge me, make fun of me, ridicule me or anything. I've decided to live my life the way I'm uniquely designed. I've decided to do what I know is right, even though it's not popular and it may seem foolish. Just because most people take path A and are successful does not mean that you should do the same. We all have a role to play in this life, we all have a path to travel, we are all unique that way.
I've decided to trust that the decision I have made is the right one. Even though it turns out not to be, I've decided to trust that God is big enough to bring me to the right place in his own way and in his own time. I think it takes courage to do the unpopular thing and to look like a fool for what you know is right. Time will tell.
-ONWARD!
Last Thursday when everyone was sharing about how they got to know me and what I meant to them in cell group, I realised that most of what I have done in all my time here has been with the church. And most of the people I know were through church or CF. They shared some really nice things, and I felt blessed that I could be a part of their lives.
It's 4 in the morning and I can't sleep because I'm worried and thinking about so many things and I don't have peace and I feel all alone. In the midst of these things, I'm thinking about the meaning of life. What is the point? What are we really living for? To please people? To live up to expectations? Keep up social appearances? What is it? If that's all my life amounts to, a struggle to the end to win the validation of my friends and family then that would be really sad and I don't want any of it.
You just can't please everyone. And some people will be disappointed in they way you choose to live your life, they will be disappointed at your decisions, they will be disappointed because they have an idea in their heads how you are supposed to turn out, and that idea is in conflict with who you are and who you want to be. And you have to decide to be who you are, what makes you you and be satisfied in that or choose to be who they want you to be and be miserable.
I've decided that I don't care about what people say about me, if they judge me, make fun of me, ridicule me or anything. I've decided to live my life the way I'm uniquely designed. I've decided to do what I know is right, even though it's not popular and it may seem foolish. Just because most people take path A and are successful does not mean that you should do the same. We all have a role to play in this life, we all have a path to travel, we are all unique that way.
I've decided to trust that the decision I have made is the right one. Even though it turns out not to be, I've decided to trust that God is big enough to bring me to the right place in his own way and in his own time. I think it takes courage to do the unpopular thing and to look like a fool for what you know is right. Time will tell.
-ONWARD!
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